Failed Food Truck Ideas

Categories: Whimsy

KuKluxKlams.png
Illustrations by Dan Zettwoch
It's tough work starting a food truck. There's the prep work, the broken knee after Jimmy "The Bag" hobbles you for falling behind on the Meat Tax, and managing Twitter. When the concept works, it can be an exciting food adventure that becomes part of the city's culinary lexicon. An organic art form in a processed food world, if you will.

These food trucks are not that. They are the ideas that failed miserably and were wholly rejected by the public.

Ku Klux Klams (above)
It Served: Fried Ipswich clams with a "superior white wine and cilantro dipping sauce."
It Failed Because: Before a blown tire caused the vehicle to careen off a bridge (the break lines were mysteriously cut) and disappear into a lake, the owners received over two tons of hate mail. I guess their clams weren't fresh enough?

*****

LuftWaffle_danzettwoch.jpg
Chicken and Luftwaffles
It Served: Fried Chicken, formed into the shape of a "pilot" and stuffed inside a model airplane made from waffle.
It Failed Because: The scale of the waffle plane (over two feet in length) proved too cumbersome to eat.

*****

TurPhoKen_dan.jpg
TurPhoKen
It Served: Bowl of pho served inside the "chest cavity" of a turducken
It Failed Because: Business was crippled from a lawsuit filed after scalding hot Pho steam burned a man's face when he cut open the turducken.

*****

CleavedBeav.jpg
The Cleaved Beav
It Served: Fifties-era diner burgers
It Failed Because: The truck's driver, a trained, bipedal British Columbia beaver, proved unreliable and irresponsible.

*****

Curryous.jpg
Just Curryous
It Served: "Sociopathically" Spicy Indian cuisine, tacos
It Failed Because: The infamous TV incident (see: Travel Channel Star Dies on Camera After Consuming Trinidad Scorpion Extract Curry) caused sales to plummet. There were some health-code violations, too.

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12 comments
alliFabulous
alliFabulous

I totally thought that "chicken leg" looked like Mr. Hanky... definitely looked like turds to me too.. The best ones are Cow Dog in Alpine, and Food Shark in Marfa.  That was the best falafel I've ever had.  Long live the Roach Coach! lol 

mynameisURL
mynameisURL

Awesome artwork? Really? The I thought the chicken legs on the "luft-waffle" plane looked like turds.

ChrisYu
ChrisYu

the artwork is awsome and some great ideas, wish i could have joined in the fun earlier. but be warned. long after the food truck has faded from popularity and human existence has reached its final stage, the roach coach will survive.

Nick R.
Nick R.

Is there a Simpsons joke with that name? Absolutely, totally didn't know that. Points for Dan's awesome art, though?

WW
WW

Re: Ku Klux Klams Stealing jokes from the Simpsons makes Baby Jesus cry

pleasedon'tshockmymonkey
pleasedon'tshockmymonkey

DART Tarts: all things tarts are/were our speciality. "Purchase a ticket, or just hop on(nobody will know), to the express train(you'll probably get there faster by car, though) to Heaven!". It failed because we were unable to entice new customers and had to increase the price of our tarts for our loyal base; causing them(our loyal base) to find other means to get to Heaven:(

pleasedon'tshockmymonkey
pleasedon'tshockmymonkey

Salmon Rushdie: Women dressed in mini-abayas'  serving bacon wrapped salmon on plates with the Prophet Mohammad's face on them(peace be upon him). Let's just say that the owner is now living under a new name....in a new area.

JS
JS

Backpage Burritos. Slogan: Great Food, and Happy Endings Too.

Nick R.
Nick R.

TakeCon: A food truck operated by Liam Neeson, where he tortures you with bacon

Joe Tone
Joe Tone

Bagels and Lock-Up: Prisoners served traditional Jewish fare from behind barred service windows. Bagels were the best in Dallas, but customers tired of spreading the schmear with shaved-down toothbrushes.

DweeBarf
DweeBarf

"Omelette My People Go" -- a Pharaoh serves you brunch out of a pyramid truck.

dallas_paul
dallas_paul

Onion Ringo - The struggling Beatles drummer tries to supplement his retirement by selling everyone's favorite fried appetizer, only to fail when we learn he can't cook either.

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