Dear Central Market, Where The Hell Is The Bleu Cheese Pancetta Dip?
The three best things in the ever: wasabi, arugula, HEB.
I love Central Market. I love the food maze they make you cart through. I love that they always have approximately one zillion apples in that place. I love that I always find some random shit I don't need but is freaking amazing (See: wasabi arugula, pictured above). I love the Chef's Case, with its super expensive but super delicious shrimp salad and its tray of twice-baked potatoes. And I really, really used to love the dip and salsa bar. Until they took away my favorite thing in life: bleu cheese pancetta dip.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, Central Market?? Why?
Where in the hell did that bleu cheese pancetta dip go? This is just like the time I loved Deadwood and then HBO was all, "No more of that for you."
Central Market bleu cheese pancetta dip was my go-to appetizer to bring to everywhere. Please tell me they just moved it to the Chef's Case or to the gelato counter or something. I'd love to hear that I'm just a blind, can't-find-stuff idiot.
As soon as I suspected that the dip was gone forever, I asked the people at the info desk about it, and they were really supportive, said they'd try to find out and gave me a balloon so I'd stop crying.
Then, I went to the Central Market website and found exactly what I was looking for: a "Talk To Us" page, which says, "We'd Like to Hear from You. Can't find it? Have a favorite?... Talk to us and let us know." Hallelujah. A place to ask for exactly what I want. So, I did.
Here's the letter I wrote (Because basketball and football and Games of Thrones-watching are not the same without Central Market's bleu cheese pancetta dip. If you tell me just to get some Love Dip, I'll punch you in your stupid dumb mouth.):
The note I sent them this on their badass website that lets you send them notes when you can't find something.
Dear Central Market Jesus,
Please bring back the bleu cheese pancetta dip. Because I hate crying. And I've been crying my fucking eyeballs out about this for months.
I thought for a little while that maybe you had just completely sold out of this Best Appetizer Ever every single time I was there. But, then I noticed there was no number for it on your fancy scale. I really knew something was up when Central Market 4th Anniversary Salsa and Love Dip wouldn't even make eye contact with me.
I hoped that maybe you were all, "Bleu cheese and pancetta aren't seasonal right now, so we'll wait to make some until our chef picks some fresh cheese and pancetta from a local farm."
Then, I found out it's not in Austin anymore, either -- I have friends there who used to buy it by the mouthful and they're crying their faces off too.
Please bring it back. I hate getting punched in the tit at parties when I show up with Not Bleu Cheese Pancetta Dip.
P.S. Or you could send me the recipe. I'm betting that I know the first two ingredients. The third ingredient is baby rainbow laughs, isn't it? I bet it is.
If they bring it back, put this dip on your face. If I get the recipe, I'll share it with you and I'll watch your life instantly go, "AAAAAAAWESOOOOOOOOOOOME."
Update: I just received an email from Anisha Mandol, Business Development Manager of Chef Prepared at Central Market, about this whole bleu cheese pancetta dip craziness. She said, "The chef decides what is menued in each Central Market and they take out the slow movers based on sales movement, hence its absence." So, you guys weren't buying enough of it, so it's gone. But, don't cry. You can still order it! By the bucket! Mandol says, "...please feel free to mention they can get it at CM Catering." So, go to the store on Lovers and order it. Or invite me to a party and expect BCP DIP BUCKETS!!!