Ruffles is Going to Rock the Eyes Out of Your Skull With Hot Chicks and Ultimate Ruffles

Categories: Whimsy

ruffles-ultimate-sweet-smokin-bbq.jpg
Ruffles.com
YEAH!! FUCK YEAH!! YEAH. YEAH! YEAH!.
Bros, aren't you pumped? Let's get effing pumped, bros. Why? Because Ruffles Ultimate Fucking Ruffles is "giving guys their first taste of the Ultimate party."

Whose biceps undulated when you heard that? Mine did, like a goddamn ocean. It's gonna be unapologetic. You see, Ruffles Ultimate Potato Chips and Ruffles Ultimate dips are holding a contest. The winner of this contest will get to eat a whole shitload of fucking like, jalapeno ranch beef chips and shit, with, like, a bunch of freaking awesome chicks from Maxim. The Maxim 100. Bro, you know how awesome this is? I just screamed so loud my eye went bloodshot.

All you have to do is:

Submit a story about the most epic time you and your bros had together and if your story is selected, Ruffles® Ultimate Potato Chips and Dips will get you and three of your best buddies on a flight, put you up at a hotel, and get you into the legendary Maxim Hot 100 party.

Aside from not being able to remember the last I had a good time without ruffled chips, there's male bonding involved. YEAH DUDE, YEAH! Male bonding, according to the press release, is a "rite of passage."

You're goddamn right. And there better be some Beef N' Cheese dip involved.

Apparently, "the chips rock twice the size and depth of the ridges in original Ruffles chip," and, AND, you'll be able to celebrate those "thick, deep ridges" by shoving them in your face alongside "MAXIM's world's most beautiful women."

There'll be ranch everywhere, you guys.

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10 comments
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trannyntraining
trannyntraining

I'm 'bout to get all MMA stylee up on some of them Ruffles, brah. Don't even get me started on the fine ladies, brah....you don't want me to go there, brah. Ah shit! I think I just went there! 

ObserverFan
ObserverFan

Make sure you drink your brotein shake, broseph!

chip eating schlub
chip eating schlub

Dear Ultimate Ruffles Forum, I never would have believed this could happen to me...

Slewfoot
Slewfoot

Q: How many italics and quotation marks can one community college sophomore cram in to one page?A: Read above in depth, hard-hitting expose regarding...    potato chips.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Be sure to check out how excited they get over alcohol, dude-bro.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

Hey Bro, you so dont read this blog much do ya. Its like so totally fucking awesome and stuff

ChrisYu
ChrisYu

dude the gang at Ghostbar's gonna be stoked

Imaginary QB
Imaginary QB

I remember this one totally awesome time where my bro choked to death on Ruffles. It was epic because right before he died he got a nosebleed and there was French Onion dip in it

Whitney Filloon
Whitney Filloon

Between these Ruffles ULTIMATE and Doritos Jacked, I'm having a hard time finding a snack that doesn't offend my feminine sensibilities.

I guess I'll stick to Wheat Thins and tea sandwiches.

Im_Ed_Carter
Im_Ed_Carter

Bring back Ritchie..........PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

In underwater arm rasslin...

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