New Miller Lite Punch Top Can Makes Shotgunning Beers So Much Easier

Categories: Brews News

MillerLitePunchTop.jpg
Miller Lite

See also: Rejected Miller Lite Delivery Systems
Miller Lite has introduced a new Punch Top Can to increase airflow to your drink hole, "reducing glug and resulting in an improved, smoother pour." Which actually translates to faster times for shotgunning.

The small indenture on the top of the can be opened by various instruments, like say a small stick off the ground, a neighbor's fancy fake nail, a claw from a stray cat, a golf tee, or even as Miller Lite suggests, a dollar bill -- a fiver if you're a high-roller. Nickels won't work, however.

Instructions go like this: Simply set the can on a solid surface, place your chosen opener against the edge of the can and use the leverage to open the second tab. Tilt head back so the beer has a straight path down throat, swallow big, and -- finally -- beat grandma in a beer shotgun race. That'll shut her old ass up.

The new easy-flow brews will be available in stores this week.

Enjoy.

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37 comments
the twice chipped guy
the twice chipped guy

Punch top seems to be the best because if you go to the best bars in Europe, USA, heck anywhere on earth the best beer always is on tap and when it is pored it is pored the tap way making the lest disturbance in delivery which makes the beer hold its head up and it's natural taste come through. but more than this the process of recycling is aided in the fact the cap is the same as the body of the dispenser and the cost of recycling is offset in the process which show less metal is more efficient and makes for a better can. All beer should come in such cans and the trinket designers could be making key bobs or cap top can openers or bringing back the old P-38 with a twist, what ever floats your boat but this is revolutionary in design. You kick butt Miller Lite! Here is a chance to prove Guys have the right idea and girls just don't know beer.

Kiskunes0527
Kiskunes0527

Just use a pen at the bottom like the old days.

Bobby Brite
Bobby Brite

Dumbasses you punch the f'in bottom.

C Murph681
C Murph681

I think this new can sucks u shouldn't need a hammer and a punch to open the damn thang I think they need to revise the punch part they sure make it look easy on tv don't they

ellis seawell
ellis seawell

Hey, Miller! You want to really improve the Miller Lite can? Put better beer in that bitch.

Shirleygirl
Shirleygirl

How about a Miller Puncher for your key chain????????/

Obryant77
Obryant77

I call it the shotgun accommodater

Fumauger
Fumauger

Just another excuse to love me some Miller

Mark H
Mark H

This appears to be Miller taking direct aim at Bud drinkers that believe the old Russian adage  that "quantity has a quality all it's own".  More beer in the belly = better beer.

mynameisURL
mynameisURL

Coors, the original piss-water beer had "pop-top" cans with two (count 'em, two) openings, one large - one small, way back in the last century. I'm guessing I was in my tender teens, then, so it must have been round about '76 or '77.

Hell, this was even before we got all environmentally conscious and the rest of the brands were still using the pull-off rings instead of the stay-attached tab.

Briz1957
Briz1957

I remember those too.... I think it was 76" when I was drinking those...Always wondered why they quit them too

Marvin
Marvin

I remember those.  They didn't have the little levers.  You had to actually push them in with something.  We usually ended up just pushing them in with our thumbs.  If you did it wrong, it would slice your thumb right open, and  sooner or later, somebody always did it wrong.  We always wondered why they never got sued.  Maybe they did.  There was probably a warning on the can somewhere, but I doubt that would be enough nowdays.

Bob
Bob

If only miller lite didnt taste disgusting i might find this interesting.

East Dallas Dad
East Dallas Dad

Life is too short to drink Miller Lite, regardless of the container it comes in.

just sayin'
just sayin'

I suppose its was kinda nice of them to install a carb for all those folks in a pinch that use a beer can for an improvised bong.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

Wish Anna would have written this.  The 6 degrees to vagina would have been fun...

Mervis
Mervis

From my post last week on the Irving beerfest:

The can with the extra indentation on the top so we can pull our keys out of our pocket to punch that indentation to help the beer come out faster even though it probably would have taken the same amount of time if I didn't have to take my keys out of my pocket?

cp
cp

Yes, the only real way to drink the stuff that's like having sex in a canoe * is to shotgun it. 

* it's fucking near water. 

Whitney Filloon
Whitney Filloon

Hear that? Its the sound of frat boys all across the land rejoicing.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Why do I have a feeling if PBR had this innovation the reception would be quite different?

Coleman
Coleman

because PBR doesn't taste like piss? Well, not as much.

Daily Reader
Daily Reader

"Pardon me stray kitty" might I trouble you for the use of your paw claw?  Why thank you.

Storm_71
Storm_71

Those Triple hops are really going to kick ass now.

Bill Lumbergh
Bill Lumbergh

If you're going to get trashed on it, might as well avoid tasting it any longer than necessary.

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

So idiocracy. We have to drink our beer faster or life will suck.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Methinks this is Miller Lites can division's answer to the Vortex technology used by their Bottle division counterparts. 

As Scott said, shotgun hole goes in the back bottom..not the top front. 

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

I prefer to enjoy my mexican champagne(miller lite) and my mexican wine (big red) at a more casual pace.

just sayin'
just sayin'

That mexican wine line nearly made me shit myself.

Nic Rodriguez
Nic Rodriguez

LET'S GET BOMBED!!!

Scott Reitz
Scott Reitz

That's not where the hole for a shotgun goes.

Nic Rodriguez
Nic Rodriguez

I think it'll still work.

I wonder if the ads for the new Shotgun Can will also say, "Please, drink responsibly."

Im_Ed_Carter
Im_Ed_Carter

Which makes this blog post totally irrelevant...

In map pencil sharpening...

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