Going Ape for Pookies Donuts

Categories: Cheap Bastard

pookies exterior.jpg
Alice Laussade
Pink gorilla robot + cheesesteak + plus fresh, super-sweet doughnuts + Alice. We're just grateful no one was injured in the frenzy at Pookies Donuts (6522 Lemmon Ave.).

Other people count: 13
People-watching amazingness level: 2,310

When you see the giant pink gorilla robot waving at you in front of Pookies Donuts with a sign around his neck that says, "What's my name?" you pull the fuck over. Because of evolution. You can't not pull over when you see something that amazing. It's a proven fact. Ask science.

pookies cheesesteak.jpg
Heh, heh ... up yours, Diet Coke.
Don't drive through at Pookies. Go inside. Because, inside, there's Old Man Stranger who demands that you order the Philly cheesesteak. "I'm waiting on four of them right now. They're huge sandwiches. They're great. Philly. Get the Philly, you want the Philly."

Great. Now I have to fucking order the Philly cheesesteak from a doughnut shop because old-man peer pressure always works. Fruity Pebbles-covered doughnut as a side item it is. And obviously I'm going to order a Diet Coke with that just because I know it pisses Diet Coke off to order it at that point.

Me: (pointing and laughing in Diet Coke's stupid face) Haha. I ordered you.

Diet Coke: 1,000 calories and a Diet Coke? Seriously? Laugh it up, dumbshit.

Me: Hahahahahahahahahaha (breath) Hahahahahahahahahah.

As soon as I ordered my food, the super nice lady behind the counter at Pookies said, "I'm not gonna give you that doughnut that's been sitting there all day -- let me make you a fresh one." Sweet. I like fresh things.

Meanwhile, Some Skinny Old Dude yells, "You call that saying grace?!" at his companions, who are excited about their doughnuts because, "They look like the doggies feet!" Nearby, a pleather chair farts.

The doughnut showed up first, and it was everything I had expected that it would be: a doughnut with fucking Fruity Pebbles on it, y'all. Plus, it had some kind of icing that tasted like a Flinstones Push-Up pop. It was ridiculous. And I was proud to have ordered it.

When my gigantic, oozy-cheese-covered Philly cheesesteak showed up, I was a little scared. I could see cheese, meat pile and onions on bread. I slowly Sriracha-ed my Philly, knowing that there was no way this strangely awesome experience could get any better than it had already been. And I was right. But, you guys -- fucking pink gorilla robot, farting chairs and yelling old dudes. You can't not stop here.

Location Info

Pookies Donuts

6522 Lemmon Ave., Dallas, TX

Category: Restaurant

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Ceaser Gorilla-Robot
Ceaser Gorilla-Robot

That philly cheesesteak looks great, and so does that Pink Gorilla Robot. 

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Ok. Just went by this place within the hour. And Good Things were seen and devoured....

Good signs:1. Two cops we're in there ordering boxes for the troops..2. The fact that cops are in there hanging out in the afternoon3. Goodness gracious look at those amazing F'-ing donuts!4. Hell yeah I want Wiz Wit!    4a. DAMN THAT IS Beast of a good sandwich.    4b. Well seasoned and juicy as hell.5. You best F'-ing pay hommage to the pink-robot-gorilla.

Bad Signs:NONE....Why the hell should there be?! Refer to #5....

I was told that if you're not leaving a place feeling like you desperately need a shower then you either, did not eat it right, or it wasn't worth it in the first place.

....I really need a shower now, I'm going to go cry.


The cheesesteak was 5 parts angel queefs, 3 parts cherub toenail clippings, and 1 part unicorn testicle..and it was like "Fuck yeah you'll fucking eat me and like it" and I was "ffuuuuuck".


Can't believe I've driven past this place so many times and not known about the goodness that awaits inside. Gotta stop by next time for the fruity pebbles donut.


My fav part of this place is the drive-thru, when you leave down the alley and into the hood. Decent breakfast tacos and donuts.


Holy Cow! I live near here, and I have seen this place for awhile. But, after that report I definitely need to swing by there, pronto!

Charm Offensive
Charm Offensive

As a onetime Philadelphia resident, I can vouch for their cheesesteak. Go!


 It's an awesome hole-in-the-wall. So worth it too.

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