An Open Letter To The Woman Who Sued Nutella Because the Spread Isn't Healthy

Categories: Complaint Desk

Nutella Spread.jpg
Spreadably delicious, but not nutritious
Dear Athena Hohenberg,

I'm sorry to address you in such an adversarial tone, but I see no way around it. Your recent class action lawsuit filed against Ferrero, the company that manufactures the deliciously chocolate-like, hazelnut spread Nutella, is the saddest case of consumer idiocy I've seen in a while. It must be addressed.

I get that labels are misleading and the public is generally figured for fools by the food industry, but come on, really: You thought Nutella was healthy? And do you think your legal action will save unsuspecting parents from poisoning their children? And by the way, did you give you kids any orange juice today? Just so you know, stuff has the same amount of sugar per serving as Nutella.

I'm having a hard time figuring out why the whole "part of a well balanced breakfast" thing threw you so far off you'd put your children's lives in danger with a condiment. It's not a new tagline. I remember seeing the same words as a child some 25 years ago attached to a box of Honeycomb cereal. I didn't really think that those little hexagons of saccharin processed wheat flour were healthy for me. I just thought they fucking tasted good.

Thanks to your suit, everyone who's purchased a jar of Nutella over the past few years is entitled to $4. People who administered a tablespoon of Nutella every day like a spreadable vitamin can claim up to five jars' worth of egregious mismarketing for a whopping total if $20. (Meanwhile, some lawyers no doubt have enough cash to buy Nutella, Skippy and Jif and turn it into a really delicious-sounding LLP).

I'd have joined your suit myself, but I never had a taste for the stuff. I was too busy sitting in a fast-food drive-though convincing myself that some of the "lighter" menu items might be good for me. And when I checked the nutritional information and realized that in addition to tasting like crap the food wasn't really that healthy, I blamed the only person responsible for the misunderstanding: me.


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37 comments
Candy O
Candy O

I lot of people are "idiots." A lot of people are uneducated, and will believe what they are told or will believe commercials. Many people are illiterate. Companies should not falsely advertise. Idiots need protection.

DMomma Clinton
DMomma Clinton

If she was only trying to make a point why did she sue/take the money?  She could have asked for this type of advertising to stop.  Greed was the motivation not anyone's health.  You don't need to speak for me, I am not an IDIOT like you.  I could tell it wasn't healthy when I open the lid!

FalseAdNutella
FalseAdNutella

The fact of the matter is not liking it, or believing if its healthy or not. The action here is to stop false advertising to capture's consumer's attention. I'm glad she won and that Ferrero must change their tagline for false information.

Walker Jimmyw
Walker Jimmyw

Remember we are what we eat... So if you eat crap your nutritional value is gonna go down thr toilet.

primi_timpano
primi_timpano

If you are interested in the origins of Nutella, and care to learn about some of its smaller, more tasty competitors, check out the 35 part treatise on  gianduia at DallasFood.org.  Pretty amazing.

NutellaNutwitta20
NutellaNutwitta20

I'm getting $20 bucks from this shit..$2 per jar, max of 5 jars....Imma bout to buy me 2 of the JUMBO jars of Nutella! Hellz yes...

HEY YOU, IN THE BACK
HEY YOU, IN THE BACK

So Nutella's not healthy? So next you're gonna tell me  Flintstone vitamins, the daily vitamin given to kids, fortified with aspartame, might not be healthy.

foodbitch
foodbitch

"You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on?"

Mervis
Mervis

Oh, you're supposed to spread it on toast (he says somewhat red-faced).

Carrie
Carrie

Nutella is awesome! No, it's not health food. It's a delicious TREAT! And on graham crackers, it tastes like SMORES!!!  What an idiot....

Steve
Steve

My favorite "open letter" was read in about 1992 by a couple of traveling strippers from the stage at Caligula XX!.   After this bold act of patriotism, the $5 beer and crotch rock ensued, accompanied by several shots across the bow.

They were addressing Saddam Hussein.   These early-90's Feature Dancers.   And you're going after the Nutella lady.

The Open Letter has gone to shit. 

Im2old4this
Im2old4this

Thank you for saying exactly what I thought.

Tony Patti
Tony Patti

I don't neccessarily think a lawsuit was the best way to get the attention of the makers of this food item. I was thinking maybe public shame might have been a better option since you have no problem shaming the plaintiff.  I mean what idiot ad agency thought it was a good idea to convince Ferrero to advertise this product in a tv commercial showing a Mom feeding her kids a breakfast consisting SOLELY of a single slab of whole wheat toast smeared with chocolate frosting and claiming it was a 'complete nutritious breakfast'? That's even beneath Don Draper. I thought the days of making bullshit advertising claims on the public airwaves were over? 

$20richer
$20richer

My 5'8 110lb 18yr daughter eats a jar of this stuff a week. No bread needed. Right off the spoon.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Their marketing was somewhat deceptive, but I can't decide if you're trolling for views or just being an ass for the sake of being an ass.

At least climb the tree for some higher-hanging fruit. Rant about tricked-up mayos being called aiolis or Jack in the Box still acting like chipotle is an innovation or how Central Market's radio ads are getting to be only slightly less annoying than Tom Thumb or Braum's radio ads or something.

ObserverFan
ObserverFan

Mmmmm Nutella that stuff is dangerous. Definitely something you can eat entirely without realizing it.

Brenda Allen
Brenda Allen

Until you have seen the documentary www.hotcoffeethemovie.com you should not make one more ignorant statement about that poor woman.  As far as this Nutella case, very sad, the entire food system needs an over haul and transparency. Processed foods are horrible for you and not everyone knows this. Very sad the ignorance around food education.  Our judiciary system is very corrupt and in no way protects American citizens. 

East Dallas Dad
East Dallas Dad

I don't care if it's healthy, it's delicious! Besides, I guarantee you a thin layer of Nutella on a piece of whole grain toast is a lot better for you than a chocolate covered donut.

Mike3647
Mike3647

And the lawyers are the big winners - like any class action.

GC
GC

It is not the lady with the law suit we need to blame, it is our judiciary system that allows dumb people like her sue for no reason and Win..

Ice cream is cold and Coffee is hot ... common sense people...

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

I think Rhynes sums this one up pretty well in 2 words "Stupid Bitch"

Im_Ed_Carter
Im_Ed_Carter

And...Coffee is hot too!!!

In land slide surfing, 55 and up bracket...

DMomma Clinton
DMomma Clinton

 Bad nutrition effects your brains ability to do math.

ObserverFan
ObserverFan

 We'll see in 10 years if she's still 110 lbs

twinwillow
twinwillow

5'8" 110lb 18yrs? Could I have her phone number?

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

so we should get to sue for our ignorance, I guess I missed the class where I was taught that only the government should look out for me and that I dont need personal responsibility.  misguided blame there sweetie

Mewkins
Mewkins

McDonald's lost that suit because they were selling 2-3 day old coffee. And to mask the 3 day old flavor they would intentionally scorch it, sometimes up to 250 degrees fahrenheit. That lady got one of those superheated cups and she was severely injured. This all came out during the trial. They knew, or should have known, that someone was going to get badly burned.

I wonder if they did that to your loved one would you say, "sorry Grandma you shoulda used some common sense"?

Jdbmah7177
Jdbmah7177

Didn't "grandma" wedge the scorching hot coffee in between her legs to hold it? That's how I recall the story and if that's factual, I would actually say, "Why in the hell were you using your crotch as a cup holder for hot coffee?  Sorry, grandma, but you should have used common sense."

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

I'd love to know how you get coffee, which is nothing but flavored water essentially, above 212 degrees.

G_David
G_David

Doesn't matter where she put the cup, if the coffee was hot enough to cause 3rd-degree burns, it was too f'ing hot to be served.  McDonald's got what they deserved.

ELH
ELH

A pressure vessel is what coffee gets brewed and then reheated in at most chain establishments.  It's also what coffee tends to get stored in after the brewing.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

I know. Appreciate your input, and you're right. But to intentionally scorch coffee above the normal boiling point would more than likely require McDonald's to use some sort of pressure vessel, which seems a rather expensive solution to keep using old coffee.

mynameisURL
mynameisURL

He used the term "superheated", you could look it up. Not saying he's correct about the McD's lawsuit or the particulars, but it's a real and documented phenomenon.

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