The Cheap Bastard at Chaucer's, the Land of Sushi, Drawbridges and Hooters Rejects

Categories: Cheap Bastard

IMG_6867.jpg
Alice Laussade
Creepy business dudes drooling on servers count: 8
Bard count: 0

Chaucer's Sushi & Grill came up several times when I internetted "cheap sushi Dallas." So I checked out their website, and let me tell you, the Chaucer's website is more amazing than any website I have ever seen or will ever see. It includes an intro with a red curtain that opens to reveal freaking flags and a freaking drawbridge and a freaking castle. I think we all know that nothing goes with sushi like castle stuff. Even Nancy Nichols is like, "Duh, bitches. Sushi and castles go together like Heidi and Seal."

But there's no way the inside of this restaurant is actually decorated to look like a castle, right? WRONG. Did that. Fake stone archways (complete with fake ivy) are everywhere up in here. Even the shitters get one. Chaucer's is the Medieval Times of sushi restaurants, you guys. I couldn't wait for centaur sashimi and grog-battered veggie tempura platters.

I know what you're thinking: In order to carry on the medieval theme, their servers are probably dressed as footmen and handing out copies of The Canterbury Tales, right? WRONG. Chaucer's lady servers wear short skirts and dress like Hooters rejects! Makes sense!

And the music they play, that's probably, like, some bard with a lute covering Sting's latest solo album, right? NO. Chaucer's has a Josey-Skateland-esque DJ booth and plays way-too-loud house music at 11 a.m. It's what everyone wants! Plus neon lights and flat-screen televisions playing old episodes of Las Vegas, the TV series!!
Nothing about Chaucer's makes any sense. Including the fact that at lunch, they offer sushi rolls three for $10. Who does that? Crazy people does that.

I ordered the Tornado roll (which boasted "chopped fresh fishes"), a tuna roll and a spicy salmon roll. They also send out a complimentary salad (iceberg, tomato, ginger dressing), which was -- free. The rolls here were decent. The tuna roll was the best of the three by far, and if I were you, I'd definitely stick to the basics here. Except for the free salad. That, I'd punt. At that "Call Me Maybe" girl's face.

Location Info

Chaucer's Sushi & Grill - CLOSED

5080 Spectrum Drive, Addison, TX

Category: Restaurant

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26 comments
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ObserverFan
ObserverFan

This is hilarious. Who doesn't want to eat sushi with a techno soundtrack? Untz untz uni untz.

primi_timpano
primi_timpano

If this is the place I think it is, it is a popular place for assignations for couples whose assignations must be hidden.

trannyntraining
trannyntraining

Interesting tidbit, but the Hooter girls are actually fashioned after what a real medieval times wench would have looked like. 

mynameisURL
mynameisURL

Somehow, I don't think the "Camel-toe" was real big around Camelot.

Bandaidbimbo
Bandaidbimbo

Actually, you're wrong. 'Camelot' is an OBVIOUS error, intended to be 'Camelto' from the start but destined by legions of unknown typographers to wear the wrong name for all of eternity.  Just ask Lancelto.  

Vince
Vince

I've visited the Addison Chaucers for over 10 years and the Frisco location for the last 2-3 years as well. No idea why Alice Laussade is spinning this piece like Chaucers is a terrible place to go to. I have never once even cared that it had a castle motif. Doesn't matter to me or affect me as a customer. The food is great there and not just the staple sushi roles but also, the appetizers and entrees. They were one the first places in Dallas to start doing saki bombs. Waitresses are cute and responsive. They have different drink specials every night. Tuesday night can get a little crazy but they aren't catering to the over 35 crowd on this particular night - they are going for college folks who want to get your groove on to some good music and cute chicks. What's wrong with that? With as many bars and restaurants that have closed down in the last 10 years, Chaucers is still standing because they are good at what they do and know their customer. I've taken friends from out of town here for sushi and they all walk away impressed and glad to have gone. Man alive the pretentiousness in this article..

MattL1
MattL1

This article isn't pretentious. The word you're searching for is "funny." This article is funny. How else are you supposed to cover a restaurant with such features? 

That, and it's Alice. This is her thing, and she does it well. 

Whereisaddison
Whereisaddison

Pretentious? I think you're pretentious for calling this article pretentious, pretentious. Any way you spin it, this place sounds really bizarre in an intriguing way and I'd like to pay it a visit. "cute and responsive"? We can hear your van with no windows coming from a mile away. I'm kidding...I'm sure it has windows.

Vince
Vince

If you are doing to debate me, at least visit the place a few times before you engage. I responded to her article pretty calmly I thought, using examples of being a repeat customer. Done.

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

you're on a food blog.

Vince
Vince

 What's your point? She is criticizing the website, the castle motif, the waitress and the food so I am replying in kind.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

His point is food blogs are about as pretentious as the internet gets.

just sayin'
just sayin'

She couldnt just say that the girls inexplicably wear breasturant attire. She had to call them Hooters rejects. Alice, you aint exactly prom queen material yourself. And girls that work at Hooters these days are usually Bone Daddy's and Twin Peaks rejects.

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

she said they dress like Hooters rejects, not that they are Hooters rejects. Much easier for a girl to explain to her parents that she's a waitress at a sushi place.

just sayin'
just sayin'

Good point about the breastaurant waitress/parent relationship. And I'm sure they all tell their parents that the fish is old to keep their parents away.

Alice Laussade
Alice Laussade

I actually didn't write the headline, but thanks!

just sayin'
just sayin'

"I know what you're thinking: In order to carry on the medieval theme, their servers are probably dressed as footmen and handing out copies of The Canterbury Tales, right? WRONG. Chaucer's lady servers wear short skirts and dress like Hooters rejects! Makes sense!"

That wasnt the headline, but thanks.

Steve
Steve

But hey, at least you can smoke cigarettes inside, right?  That, and the Dick Cheney beer lines that have never been cleaned.   It's like a ride at one of those "amusement parks" that shows up in a Fiesta parking lot.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

love those broken down carnie rides, operated by a meth addict

quahog_convo
quahog_convo

You should try going Tuesday night, also known as "Way Too Many Dang Asian Club Kids" night.

turbosix
turbosix

don't act like we weren't there every tuesday night like 5 years ago! never forget your past! 

Meh.
Meh.

My coworkers lunch* at Chaucer's.

*spend their lunch money on shots

Nick R.
Nick R.

So, for their plates, they add a Cantebury "e" to their name? O, the Whimsy!

Allie Seago
Allie Seago

The multiple spelling is driving me crazy. I gots to know how this happened. I imagine someone's really curly-q writing caused this misfortune and there wasn't time, nor money, to correct it.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

yeah, and the server brings yer plate out in full metal knight outfit. all clanky and all.

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