The Universal Food Shame Scale
Damn. Eating that freezer burrito made you feel like an awful human being. But, exactly how awful? Wish there was a way to know exactly how much shame you should feel when you eat a horrible, awful food? Wish. Effing. Granted.
Above is our very helpful, very scientific Universal Food Shame Scale:
In order to further confirm the Universal Food Shame Scale's rightness, we thought we should consult a few chefs and other serious food experts in town. Here are their contributions:
1. IBP beef. I know that feed-lot steer could have had a better life, but it's sure tasty when it's smoked.
2. Saucy chopped beef and jalapeno sausage sandwich from Mac's with fries and beans. Now dip the fries in the bean juice.
3. Anything I hide from my Instagram feed.
4. A whole tube of BBQ flavored Pringles.
5. Ojos de vaca.
6. Cow eyes ('cause they sound cooler in Spanish at #5).
7. Salt Lick.
8. Salads without meat on them.
9. I want my baby-back, baby-back, baby-back.
10. Oatmeal from La Madeleine. I felt so dirty afterwards that I drove straight to Kuby's for a smoked pork chop from the meat counter. I ate it with my bare hands as I sat in the Snider Plaza parking lot. There were concerned onlookers. Take that, Oatmeal.
Next: Jeffrey Hobbs, José Ralat-Maldonado, Chad Houser and Jeana Johnson