In Honor of Titanic 3D (Or Something), the 10 Very All-Time Best Frozen Foods

Categories: Lists

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Yeah, we went there.

Most of these are dessert-related. And might force you to face your childhood because most of them are also a bit nostalgic. Which may or may not be an indicator that we need therapy.

1. Lemon Chill

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Available at any water park, baseball stadium or outdoor concert in the history of ever, the Lemon Chill is one of those things that you know is grossly overpriced but still gladly consume.The cup is bright and sunny. They even replaced the "O" in Lemon with the cross-section of a damn lemon. That's branding. It's always at the perfect temperature and consistency, and it tastes exactly like it did in 1995.

*****

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2. M&M's
Pop a bag in the freezer and thank me via iTunes gift cards later. They are so chocolatey and cold. Then, they reach the perfect temperature the second they enter your facecave. This is, of course, assuming that your body is in normal operating condition. Frozen M&M's also work well when dumped into a bucket of hot popcorn. YEAH. YOU'RE WELCOME.

*****

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3. Twix Ice Cream Bar
Right? I didn't know either. I saw it in a gas station freezer bin just months ago and about lost my mind. Remember when you were 8 and your mom would NEVER buy you a Snickers Ice Cream Bar? This is the opposite of that. Because you are a college-educated, gainfully employed, mostly law-abiding citizen with a steady income and a whole pancreas waiting to accept this amazing gift from Mars, Inc. Go buy one. Or all of them. Buy them all.

*****

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So good, it's ironic art.
4. Orange Dreamsicle
Somewhere in 'Merica, someone has just rationalized eating three of these in rapid succession because they have a fruit flavor involved. Ergo, it must be better than a chocolate-covered anything, yes? No. Which is why we will all end up like the last half of Wall-E (where everyone is all bloated and snarky on a hovercraft).

*****

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5. Drumstick
Oh yes. That precious little nugget of gold at the bottom. It's totally worth a trip through mediocre ice cream just to get to that thing. Drumsticks are, in addition to being an ingenious feat of food engineering, the perfect after-dinner treat. Or after lunch. Breakfast. Brunch. Trip to Super Target. Took the trash to the curb. Brushed the dog.

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16 comments
Id4tyler
Id4tyler

Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla, wouldn't have any other!

Dianna Storrusten
Dianna Storrusten

OMG how did you not mention Pink Things??  As a "grown-up" I've actually gone to Six Flags just to get one...  Is that sad?  LOL

Julie C
Julie C

A hot day at Six Flags + Pink Things = Summer perfection.

kergo 1 spaceship
kergo 1 spaceship

Ahhhh rednecks, ya'll are so fun!

Italian Ice-from the ice cream man/1977!

POW....Kerg's wins.

Ps-Yaz, Freddie Lynn, Fisky, Spaceman, Esposito, Number 4, Gilles Gilbert, Dave Cowens, Havy, Tiny Archi, Steve Grogan.  

Steve
Steve

Aggressive list!

My mom would always put chips, chee-tos, etc in the freezer, and to this day room-temp cheetos gross me out!

But for me, the undercooked chocolate chip cookie with too few chips which is immediately frozen is the most amazing mouth fun ever.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

lemon/strawberry chills...was the best part of going to a baseball game or six flags in the summer

Daily Reader
Daily Reader

I didn't like those 'cause they always felt like they were fizzing in my mouth when I took a bite.

Kergo 1 Sapceship
Kergo 1 Sapceship

Must be a yuppie thing.....by the time I was going to Six Flags it was the warm Coors Light I snuck in. 

Willie
Willie

Drumstick from the Good Humor man....1962.  Best enjoyed in the evening, right after running behind the mosquito spraying truck.

Titus Groan
Titus Groan

The internet will accept this addition. 

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