Things Sriracha Does Not Go On
I started thinking about this project last Sunday whilst at brunch. I'd just hit Vickery Park's brisket sandwich with a healthy dose of cock sauce and noted how well the flavors worked together. Spurred by the famous Frank's Red Hot tagline, "I put that shit on everything" I asked my drunken table mates the inverse question: What does sriracha not go on? Crickets.
I've spent a decent part of this week asking around the office and responses were dismal. I started a parody post that included "puppies" on the list of things sriracha doesn't compliment, but then I found this article on The New York Times that says a predecessor to the modern day condiment, perfumed by galangal, was actually used on roast dog.
I give up. Of all the lists I've tried to create, this with out a doubt the hardest. It may even be impossible. I wanted 10, but only came up with five.
Tiramisu was the best suggestion I got from the brunchers. The idea spawned lots of other creamy deserts, but that felt like cheating. Besides I think you can make a case for the applications of sriracha laced ice cream in certain applications.
Anyone who has tried to fix a clogged cock sauce nozzle with a Herculean bottle squeeze knows the results. Cock sauce stains.
I dare every mixologist in Dallas to try to hide a teaspoon of sriracha in a Ramos Gin Fizz. Not gonna happen.
Cereal was another that started off strong and withered. Savory varieties just might be successfully augmented by the red stuff. Chocolate Frosted Mini Wheats, though? No way.
This one is as self explanatory as it is absolute. Never use sriracha here.
... or here. Unless you're into that sort of thing.