Things Sriracha Does Not Go On

Sriracha.jpg
I started thinking about this project last Sunday whilst at brunch. I'd just hit Vickery Park's brisket sandwich with a healthy dose of cock sauce and noted how well the flavors worked together. Spurred by the famous Frank's Red Hot tagline, "I put that shit on everything" I asked my drunken table mates the inverse question: What does sriracha not go on? Crickets.

I've spent a decent part of this week asking around the office and responses were dismal. I started a parody post that included "puppies" on the list of things sriracha doesn't compliment, but then I found this article on The New York Times that says a predecessor to the modern day condiment, perfumed by galangal, was actually used on roast dog.

I give up. Of all the lists I've tried to create, this with out a doubt the hardest. It may even be impossible. I wanted 10, but only came up with five.

*****

tiramisu.jpg
Flickr
Tiramisu was the best suggestion I got from the brunchers. The idea spawned lots of other creamy deserts, but that felt like cheating. Besides I think you can make a case for the applications of sriracha laced ice cream in certain applications.

*****

Hanes tshit.jpg
Anyone who has tried to fix a clogged cock sauce nozzle with a Herculean bottle squeeze knows the results. Cock sauce stains.

*****

Ramos Gin Fizz.jpg
Flickr
I dare every mixologist in Dallas to try to hide a teaspoon of sriracha in a Ramos Gin Fizz. Not gonna happen.

*****

Chocolate Frosted Mini Wheats.jpg
Cereal was another that started off strong and withered. Savory varieties just might be successfully augmented by the red stuff. Chocolate Frosted Mini Wheats, though? No way.

*****

Scott Toilet Paper.jpg
This one is as self explanatory as it is absolute. Never use sriracha here.

*****

Condoms.jpg
... or here. Unless you're into that sort of thing.


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37 comments
copperwatt
copperwatt

Oh, I'm sure this is not the first time you have stained your t-shirt with cock sauce.

Eliot Landrum
Eliot Landrum

To be fair, I bet sriracha would go great on crickets.

Storm_71
Storm_71

"A healthy dose of cock sause" huh? Wow the jokes write themselves.  

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

you, you, you make me jealous......NICE menu!  Yard work, so nothing but chips so far. 

mmarks
mmarks

That's the trouble with websites. They'll print ANYTHING, even if it's the stupidest article imaginable. Like this one.

Julia
Julia

This is the stupidest article evr

twinwillow
twinwillow

Please don't put it on my toothbrush!

wookieesonendor
wookieesonendor

What about Siracha on Siracha? That's pretty nonsensical, now, isn't it? [side note] please do not try this for i've heard it could possibly create black holes in the space/time continuum

Christopher
Christopher

Not on foie gras, caviar, gummy bears, mixed with a coca-cola and never on a dry-aged ribeye steak: Everything else if fair game.

Mervis
Mervis

On Chopped they will show one of the contestants get the Siracha out and make a comment that this is what his/her dish needs. Quick cut to chef/judges who say, "No don't add that" and they they slap their foreheads in exasperation and then later rip them for it. Always makes me laugh.

joeat
joeat

I keep 1/2 fresh lime juice and 1/2 Sriracha at all times and it goes on EVERYTHING!  Fabulous.

ts
ts

This might be considered sacrilege, but I like to mix sriracha with a bit of ketchup to make a lovely condiment.  

jamal
jamal

Sriracha is Sambal's bitch.

Christopher
Christopher

Barkeep Brad Hensarling uses a Jamaican Jerk bitter/extract  to top off his Pisco Sour at CampO.  It's not great and it's not quite a Ramos Gin Fizz, but it's not bad either.  All I'm saying, is that there's a chance.

NewsDog
NewsDog

Greatness knows no bounds.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

It's great like Tabasco, it goes on everything except my d__k!  Oh yeah, AND NOT Lobster Rolls in coastal New Hampshire.  Trust me...they'll run you through town on a rail. 

kergo  1 spaceship
kergo 1 spaceship

then eff'ing leave us alone-and go to the "tie the sweater around the front of the chest" blog; or go shopping at Bed Bath and Beyond (may not have  enough time?).

Dmkergo
Dmkergo

hey, the fat girl in a looney tunes tshirt is two doors down

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Ifn it were to be a salado with some of that pulled meat in it..it'd work just fine.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

it can only enhance what ketchup is....utter shite!  I applaud this.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Sriracha and peanut butter make an excellent Thai peanut sauce for chicken, or beef skewers.  Just add a little oil, and heat on low.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

We are  all sleeping now-thank you. 

BTW, who cares?  My garbage man uses Iberian extract to kill weeds.....so what?  Jes sayin'. 

ps-Dave CampO uses Tabasco on his grits!?

twinwillow
twinwillow

All the stuff I like seems to be in the Beyond department.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

I've told this story up in heara about 50 times.  I once ate said lobby roll at a clam shack (Pop's in Alton bay, NH), and when I ask the lady behind the counter for Tabasco, she started ringing a bell, and summoning the patrons to the fact that "someone" was asking for "hawt saaauce" for the lobster roll..........welp, the whole place erupted in laughter, and they pelted me with rocks and garbage.  Including my brother and sister!

Cherryl
Cherryl

well y would u want to cover up lobster??? do u live there because i can give u some better locations for good lobby rolls...

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

tone owes me for todays page views, a fly by joke, turned into a bunch of hens with their feathers ruffled.  I see Kergs finally visited that thread

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

You're missing fun over at unfair park about the crazy stewardess. You also overtook me, we're 5-4 now. I can live with that, keeps me in the top 4.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

I know where Kergs got his sense of individuality.  I like Tabasco on everything too Kergs, and screw that old broad.  (Although I've actually switched to Fuzzy's but burnin sauce at the house, friendo hooks me up with gallon jugs...goes with everything.)

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