Ten Awesome Food Items That Aren't Food

Categories: Lists

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We think about weird shit sometimes. This is one of those times.

1. Pizza Sleeping Bag (above)
This why-the-eff-didn't-I-think-of-that idea from B Fiber and Craft combines the unique pizza passion that exists inside us all with our desire to sleep outside. For a mere 250 American dollars (plus shipping), you can get a made-to-order sleeping bag with your choice of mushrooms, broccoli, pepperoni, and olives. And it's lined in satin to help you achieve sexiness while still being surrounded by pizza, which is typically an impossible combination in the traditional setting. So forget those custom-painted Toms and put that expendable income to good use.

*****

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2. Food Tents
If I was lost in the woods and stumbled upon a tent that looked like a giant club sandwich or wedge of watermelon, I'm pretty sure I would hang out with the tent's owner immediately. Field Candy is a tent company with a hoard of designers who obviously understand the tent market's lack of hilarity -- and maybe not so much the recession (they start at a whopping 600 dollars). Regardless, it's hard not to fantasize about being responsible for making the woods a little more awesome with a giant cheese tent.

*****

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3. Baked Potato Bean Bag Chair
Let's be honest: You know you've popped open a steamy, impossibly fluffy baked potato and secretly wished Rick Moranis could laser-beam you with his shrink ray so you could hang out inside of Potatoland for a little while. Well, here's the answer to your (my) prayers. The baked potato bean bag chair with a pillow that is very likely on Paula Deen's bed. This is yet another creation from Etsy's B Fiber and Craft store, which should probably change its name to B Fiber and Crafty Shit for Fatties.

*****

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4. Cheeseburger Bed
"Um, yes. Your delivery guys -- who were very rude, by the way -- just assembled the queen-sized cheeseburger bed I ordered from you guys, and while everything looks good, once I tucked into it I saw that it was medium-well. I SPECIFICALLY ordered medium rare. Please take it back and bring me a new one with a little pink in the middle and spit between the sheets."

*****

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5. Bacon Shoes, Bacon Scarf, Meat Bermuda Shorts, Meat Cleaver Earrings
Well I know what my summer wardrobe's motif will be. Nothing says style like a beautiful amalgamation of haute couture and bacon, bacon, bacon. Surely the next big thing at Fashion Week. When Bryant Park is crawling with supermodels wearing bacon Keds, I think we can all collectively agree that maybe that Lady Gaga isn't so crazy after all.

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7 comments
rab sleeping bags
rab sleeping bags

 Although ITN users are still protected by the physical barrier of the netting, non-users could experience an increased bite rate as mosquitoes are deflected away from the non-lethal bed net users.

TLS
TLS

Where do you find that burger ring?

Debi Johnson
Debi Johnson

Ha!....just goes to show ya.....if we can..."imagine it"......we "will"....make it! Wayyyy....cool stuff! <3

Mervis
Mervis

Yeah, who says we don't make stuff in 'Merica no more?

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