Which Beers Get You Drunk Without Making You Fat? The Gross Ones, Of Course.
With St. Patty's Day behind us and spring break in the books, summer is just around the corner, which means it's time to get serious about our curvy figures. One of the worst offenders to the best of all diet plans is alcohol. Not only for the calories within each glass, but also for the progressive lack of self-restraint once consumed.
HellaWella Beeramid (Illustration: Liam Gooley)
What's nice about the chart is that it allows us to measure efficiency. Sure, you could have a Budweiser Select for just 55 calories, but with just 2.4% alcohol, you'd get a better buzz from a 5-Hour Energy shot. Therein lies the challenge: the boozy part is what packs the most calories and, unfortunately, it's a sliding scale (up).
So the question is: Which beer most efficiently delivers the highest percentage of alcohol with the fewest calories?
I did some fuzzy math and you're probably not going to like the answer. Comparing calories to alcohol content, Natural Ice takes top prize for efficiency, with 130 calories and 5.9% alcohol. Rounding out the top ten in descending order are Natty Light, Miller Lite, MGD 64, Budweiser Select, Busch Light, Coors Light, Keystone, Keystone Light and Arrogant Bastard Ale. Proving the point, once again, that no matter which way you slice it, trying to lose weight is depressing.