Doritos Locos Tacos Spur a New Level Of Food Shame

Categories: Complaint Desk

Doritos Loco Taco Doritos.jpg
A Doritos Locos Taco, with Cool Ranch Doritos
I was hoping that eating a Doritos flavored taco would inspire a few grafs of humorous prose, but instead it just spurred sorrow. Now, sitting at my desk after enduring my arterial assault, I feel depressed. I won't call Taco Bell's creation good or bad. It tastes exactly like what you'd expect: An ice cream scoop of processed meat stuffed into a giant nacho cheese Doritos shaped like a taco shell.

Doritos Loco Logos.jpg
Why don't you "like" me?
The whole mess is stuffed into cardboard sleeve covered in social media touch points for Facebook and Twitter. Frito-Lay's logo is stamped on it too. You can almost see the desperate board meeting where a bunch of suits got together to talk about sales, growth margins and market synergy.

That's how the Doritos Locos Taco came about. It was invented in an office like the one I'm sitting in now and that creation says a lot about the portion of our food system that serves millions of Americans every day.

The Doritos Locos Taco isn't the only attempt Taco Bell has garnered to lash out against competing fast food new-comers like Chipotle. They recently created a new breakfast menu (they had one in the '90s and it failed then too), they've tried Cantina tacos (a bastardized version of Mexican street tacos, which failed) and they're preparing to roll out a larger Cantina menu meant to mimic Chipotle's offering at a lower cost. I'm going to guess that effort fails as well.

Sales at Taco Bells have been slumping for some time. CFO Rick Carucci reported that a sales decline, which started in response to a lawsuit over that terrible beef, had continued into last fall. The "seasoned beef" has such a bad rap it needs its own PR campaign to try and prove it doesn't suck, yet it still does.

Recent numbers show a deepening trend for Taco Bell's sales. And while I'm sure everyone at YUM Inc. (the company that owns Taco Bell) has their thinking caps on, I wish they'd pay me a million dollars to teach them the simplest path to profitability.

Focus on making food that tastes good.

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37 comments
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candiceanderson42
candiceanderson42

In business you you can always encounter problems that may lead to loss of sales but there are ways that you can do prevent things to happen.

Candice Anderson

Cash Register Software  

Hiroshi_Mishima
Hiroshi_Mishima

Honestly, I actually do like Taco Bell's food under most circumstances - so long as I say no lettuce and/or tomato - but I really couldn't stand the "Loco Taco". It was horribly salty and actually did taste a lot like a Nacho-Cheese Dorito - one of the flavours I'm not keen on.

If it's true they're going to try the Cool Ranch chip later, I may give it another shot. I actually like that flavour of chip - since I was a kid, in fact -and it's the only Doritos flavour I still stick with. I get the feeling, though, that it'll still not go well. When I think of Taco Bell, Doritos is usually the last thing to pop into my mind. Heh, usually it's "I ate too much" or "Damn, should've gotten an extra taco." :p

I guess so long as it helps their sales I'm fine, but it's hardly something I'm ever gonna try more than once.

Matt
Matt

Taco bell should've stuck with the Beefy Crunch Burrito.  Seriously, did you know anybody who didn't like that thing?  I sure didn't.  I love that burrito and am anxiously awaiting the day they bring it back as a permanent addition.

remote control
remote control

I love reading the comments on here. Even though you guys have a lingo that I don't always understand it still cracks me up.

scottsdalebubbe
scottsdalebubbe

Our kids call it Toxic Smell.  The hilarious thing is that Chipotle is owned by McDonalds.  I ate at the original, independently owned Chipotle in the San Francisco Bay area.  What they serve now isn't very far from the original -- which was a treat.  We buy the Bols, not the wraps.  Flour tortillas are soooo gringo!

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Hate to burst your bubble, but Chipotle started in Denver and was only owned by McDonald's for a couple years and was spun off into an independent company over 5 years ago.

GNJ
GNJ

Reminiscent of the toast sandwich. :\

Valerie V
Valerie V

Yummy! Doritos tacos with a scoop of raccoon, opossum, skunk, porcupine, and dead cat roadkill. Do you get a free liter of Pepsi liquid processed high fructose corn syrup to wash it down with? No wonder Americans are so fat they are disgusting.

CrackerDaddy
CrackerDaddy

Another reason why Taco Bell sooooooooooo totally sucks.

Sarah
Sarah

SuP. you can go fuck yourself. Tbell fo life, nigga

MattL1
MattL1

Not a terribly long life, one would imagine...

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Oh that's nice!  You must be a real prize.....welp, good luck with the 4 kids, and being 23.

jason
jason

those marketing executives should be terminated.. for depletion of company funds...  thats nothing but stealing company time..what a waste of time.. how much do they make to come up with that..if they were to ask me what i thought of the finished product, i would say ..well.. go clean out your office.. your finished here :)

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

You're the dumbest executive ever then. They take an existing product, add some Doritos dust, tap in to a known brand name, increase the price (and margin) because of the flavoring, and create a huge buzz in the fast food community.

It's marketing genius. They should be given bonuses.

Montemalone
Montemalone

I'm waiting for the Cheeto Burrito.

I wish they would go back to making tacos like they did in the 70s. There was actual grease in the meat which added sooooo much flavor, and the taco sauce was better. My young self was so lucky.

Mervis
Mervis

Seek out a Taco Casa. These places are pure 70's Taco Bell.

Baio
Baio

they over-expanded and their quality, while already very poor, somehow became worse.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Yuck....idiocracy!  Have to hand it to them, they'll try anything. 

More Kergie.

Sachary
Sachary

Keepin' my fingers crossed the Cool Ranch version, which drops later this year will be better... Also, you need make sure to have plenty of beer in your system before I try them.

Allie Seago
Allie Seago

I agree. Let's see an update to this after you've had plenty of beer.

JesseHughey
JesseHughey

I always have plenty of beer in my system, so I should be good whenever you try them.

Richie Whitt
Richie Whitt

I actually just went to Taco Bell and got one. It was really fucking good. You must not have gotten the supreme version. Get off your fucking high horse.

PS I'm Gay.

Nick R.
Nick R.

There was also a QR code on the taco. You know, so you can scan the taco. [waits for Alice Laussade to jump in]

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