We Gave Campo's Matt McCallister a Big Box of Crap and He Made Us 14-Layer Dip

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Alice Laussade
Hey, Box: Not sure if you knew, but Matt McCallister is about to own you.
​​Once a month or so, we invite a new lucky soul to attempt to conquer The Box. Their challenge: To create something awesome out of whatever ingredients are in the box. It's like Chopped plus Punk'd, only less terrible. This month, Campo's Matt McCallister attempts to make some Super Bowl appetizers that don't suck. (Primarily out of ingredients that do suck.)

McCallister was given two days to create one or two Super Bowl appetizers that elevate the variety of awesome, locally sourced (at Target on Abrams) ingredients found in the box. Box contents:

Velveeta (brick), Rotel, Oreo cookies (Double Stuf), Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers (Fuzzy Navel), Funyuns, Ruffles (Molten Hot Wings), Hebrew National Hot Dogs Ranch Dip powder mix, Archer Farms Multigrain Chips (Fiesta Seven Layer Dip)

And holy crap, you guys, he made us three freaking tasty, way-better-than-just-busting-open-the-can-of-Rotel-and-eating-it appetizers!! (Which is technically cheating, since he was only asked to create one or two appetizers. But when a chef makes you three delicious things instead of two, you don't say, "Hey, excuse me, dude -- that's one too many delicious things." You eat it. And you're happy. And holy wine cooler ice cream sandwiches, we were so very happy.)

When I posted a link on Facebook to the teaser post we did for this piece, McCallister had this to say:

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WTF, indeed, Chef. WTF, indeed.

But after just a few hours, McCallister was able to turn "What the fuck?" into "This the fuck!"

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Nick Rallo
This beautiful bowl holds some celery leaf, a few pretty carrots, Molten Hot Wings Ruffles and FRIED CHICKEN SKIN CHICHARONES, all dusted with about a teaspoon of Ranch Dip powder.

One thing ran through my mind as I ate this dish: Effin' hell, McCallister just invented Ranch and Hot Wings Ruffles, you guys. This chip's so good it should be motorboated.

And dear chicken that had to die so this dish could live, that fried chicken skin McCallister made out of you was otherworldly. As Nick Rallo and I were trying to politely taste the dish instead of just dumping the whole bowl in our face holes, Rallo reached for last bit of fried chicken skin and I almost had to punch him in his pretty little face. That shit was mine.

McCallister came out with his second dish just in time:

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Nick Rallo
He goes, "So, these are just peaches and cream ice cream sandwiches." He made wine cooler sherbet and put it on an Oreo, y'all. Of course it was good. Bartles & Jaymes don't play!

McCallister told us, "This third dish was "Epic Meal Time-inspired. You gave me that Seven-Layer Dip chip and I decided I wanted to make 14-Layer Dip. So, here it is: Seven-Layer Dip with Seven-Layer Dip chips."

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Nick Rallo
After one bite, then a second bite, Rallo goes, "I kind of want to go hide in a dark corner and finish this whole thing." I kind of wanted to do a sodium count on the whole thing. Funyuns+hot dogs+Velveeta+bean dip? There's gotta be a record here.

Here's McCallister with the details on all three dishes:

And finally, McCallister, on where that bean dip came from: "I was going to make my own bean dip, since there wasn't any in The Box. And so I'm sitting there smashing Peruvian beans and I'm like -- this doesn't make sense. So I went to 7-11 and just bought a can of bean dip."

And with that, Matt McCallister is the first person to add a shitty ingredient to The Box. Cheers, sir. And thanks for kicking the shit out of our box. Happy Super Bowl.

Follow City of Ate on Twitter. Follow me at @thecheapbastard.

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12 comments
talesfromthecrapper
talesfromthecrapper

Next, you guys should take one of Alice's articles, to some area writer, and see if they can turn that crap into something readable. I know it'll be tough, but i've got faith!

Litstyle2228
Litstyle2228

I've done an article on this Box segment on my blog, I tried with a fervor to relay with justice the awesomeness of the challenges in words. But... Now I feel... the need... to take this challenge...ON! (and document it for the blog.) 

http://youmeanwhatiknow.wordpr...

Nick R.
Nick R.

I'll fight you to the last chicken skin, Laussade. 

jon from TJs
jon from TJs

i love this series.  its like "Chopped", except not excruciatingly stupid.  Of course Matt kicked ass at it.  surprised he didn't pickle the funyons.

 

just sayin'
just sayin'

But she said that the food was so good that it should be motorboated. She is a chick saying shit that a guy would say. Get it? Its so clever. The way she cusses and stuff.

Alice is totally that unattractive female co-worker/acquaintance that we all have in our lives that cant stop telling us how down she is with going to the titty bar with us.

Kergo
Kergo

nana?  is this Norm's twisted, blackened and humbled prostate?

CCC
CCC

So....you folks don't like her writing yet you continue to read it? Did she stand you guys up on prom night or something?

Litstyle2228
Litstyle2228

You must have been far up that hole to know, with such familiarity, that prostate. Bless your heart.  

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Wow, you stay classy....for eff's sake, not Another spoiled food blogger.......get a hobby? Being fat and eating is not a hobby-yet. 

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