Civet Coffee is the Shit

Categories: Whimsy

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TigrouMeow
Civets look more like rats than cats to me.
It's not every day that you find the world's most expensive coffee in your mailbox. A friend of mine told me she'd received some kopi luwak from one of her friends in Indonesia. Then she asked me if I wanted her to send me some.

Duh?

I'm not sure what I was expecting. I figured I'd grind the beans up, toss them in a French press with some water just shy of boiling, and then sample something that tasted exactly like fucking coffee. So what if it's made from poop?

Kopi Luak, or civet coffee, is made from the beans of coffee berries that have been eaten by the Asian palm civet -- that's a mammal -- and then passed through its digestive tract. Apparently some enzymes in the civet's gut make the coffee smooth and delicious, but you have to wonder how desperate for caffeine was the first person to try this.

I know they clean the beans, thoroughly, and it's not like I'm actually drinking poop, but once something is submerged in shit and you let it dry there -- I mean the beans are absolutely saturated with feces. And you can't go from absolutely saturated to 100 percent feces free, so you're kinda drinking poop.

And let me tell you something. Poop is delicious.

The resultant brew was without a doubt the most non-offensive coffee I've ever consumed. It's so mild. It's probably the least bitter coffee in the world, and I'm sad I only got enough to make two small pots of it. I'm also sad buying more of it could set me back $600 a pound. Looks like I'm back to Dunkin' Donuts Original Blend for now.

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10 comments
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Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Meh, not trying very hard are we..How about a best draft beer prices at dives that seat 20 customers or less?  Best coffee that didn't come out of monkee's asses prior to brewing?

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Dammit, now you've done it! We're gonna get a Top 5 Chefs with Arm Sleeve Tattoos and a Top 5 Bartenders With Fedoras now!

therrick
therrick

Maybe the Mt. Rushmore of Food Trucks to change it up a bit.

shitforbreakfast
shitforbreakfast

I have had the vietnamese weasel "poop coffee". Its AMAZING.Havent found a place to buy here in the states, until now.....

ObserverFan
ObserverFan

Nothing like a steaming hot cup of shit to wake you up in the morning. The best part of waking up is feces in your cup!

Cliffhanger
Cliffhanger

So coffee is supposed to taste like sh*t? I'll stick to tea.

just sayin'
just sayin'

Yeah, I pretty much draw the line at eating anything that was seasoned with shit. Cue the tossed salad jokes.

Paul Jackson
Paul Jackson

We have been importing weasel-blend coffees from Vietnam that have been well received.  Since they are blends, they are much more reashonably priced but still have much of the quality you describe in the pure Weasel product.  Our website is http://weaselcoffees.com

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