After an exhaustive search of public records and historical documents at the Library of Congress (read: drunken Google search), we are ready to honor President's Day with a comprehensive list of the foods enjoyed by our fearless leaders of the past. Throughout this process one question continued to nag:
Who the shit was Chester Alan Arthur?
Happy President's Day, Aters.
1.George Washington reportedly enjoyed fish and ice cream. We're not sure if that meant together or in succession, but man he would have eaten the shit out of some Phish Food. Dude was a hemp farmer, amiright? Munch on, Wash.
2. John Adams: Indian pudding.
3. Thomas Jefferson: Ice cream.
4. James Madison: Ice cream. Which apparently is all the White House had between 1789 and 1817...
5. James Monroe: Fried chicken.
6. John Quincy Adams: Fresh fruit.
7. Andrew Jackson: French food.
8. Martin Van Buren: All we could find was "oysters and donuts." WOW. Did Immodium exist back then?
9. William Henry Harrison: SQUIRREL FUCKING STEW.
10. John Tyler: Pudding. (What is with these dudes and desserts?)
11. James K Polk: Corn pone. You try to say that without laughing.
12. Zachary Taylor: Creole food. Spicy dude.
13. Millard Fillmore: The owner of the first iron stove ... and he requested soup.
14. Frankling Pierce: Fried clams.
15. James Buchanan: Fresh butter. Really? Are you related to the Deen family?
16. Abraham Lincoln, our tall-hatted friend to the people, liked a hot plate of Chicken Fricassee and Herbed Biscuits. What a snooty bastard. Eh well, his beard was excellent.
17. Andrew Johnson: Popcorn.
18. No idea what Ulysses S. Grant liked, but he was a huge guy, so we're guessing he got down with a Baconator from time to time. They had those in 1869, right? Wait, was Dave Thomas ever a president?
19. The Googles tell us Rutherford B. Hayes was a simpleton and enjoyed something called Delicate Cornmeal Battercakes. Which is probably just a 19th century version of pancakes, and probably tasted like shit. So head on down to IHOP, get down on some nasty pancakes, and live like ol' President Hayes.
20. James Garfield, the one with the beard of presidential beards, wins the most random favorite food award in the history of ever: squirrel soup. We refuse to look up pictures of this so we're just telling ourselves he liked lasagna.
21. Chester Alan Arthur: Mutton Chop with a nice, tall glass of ale. What a stud.
22. Grover Cleveland: Corned Beef and Cabbage.
23. Benjamin Harrison: Blue-Point Oysters. We approve of this.
24. Grover Cleveland: Waaaaait a second! That guy got re-elected? Mutton chop guy?
25. William McKinley: Eggs. Wow. What a riveting human.