How to Open a Bottle of Wine with Your Shoe

Categories: Whimsy
I know you've been there. It's late on a Tuesday and your boss has just handed you your ass on your last project. You're tired. You're stressed. You need a drink. And despite having a few bottles of wine on hand you don't have a corkscrew to open any of them.

I found this handy video on YouTube, and my office door jam in an attempt to release the nectar of the gods. It went poorly. I'm guessing I need a firmer surface?

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just sayin'
just sayin'

I wish I had seen this 2 weeks ago. A beer drinking buddy of mine that never drinks wine had a girl come over to his place with a bottle of vino for herself. She assumed that an adult male would have a corkscrew at home. He didnt. He called me and asked if my redneck ass knew how to open a bottle without a corkscrew. I told him to dig in his tool kit for a screwdriver, the longest screw he had, and a pair of pliers. Wine virgin just used a screwdriver that bored a hole into the cork and eventually push the shredded cork into the bottle. Of course wine shot out of the top. I congratulated him on ruining her wine and dorking his way out of sure thing ass. Who knew all he needed was a tree and an adidas?

Allie Seago
Allie Seago

Maybe you weren't hitting it hard enough.

The best part of this video is when he drinks from the bottle directly. Very classy. And he knows it.

Nic Rodriguez
Nic Rodriguez

I was gonna say that I feel like less of a lush now that I've seen this dude power down some Bordeaux straight from the bottle. He's my hero.

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