This Super Bowl Sunday, Just Say No To Chicken Wing Delivery

Categories: Complaint Desk

wings_1.jpg
You can do this. I promise, it's easy.
The Super Bowl is coming, which means everyone must think about, write about, talk about and prepare for the egregious consumption of chicken wings. It's a damn shame because most of the wings consumed during the big game will totally blow.

I blame these guys for fucking up chicken wings forever. The National Chicken Council blasts out a report every year correlating the Super Bowl with increased wing consumption, and then news outlets run with story after story that only increases the chicken-wing fervor. And since wings can be a pain to make, and most people like to watch the game at home, delivered wings will comprise the majority of the chicken appendages that are consumed this Sunday.

Which is sad because, in food-expert technical culinary parlance, delivered wings suck.

Pizza places and wing chains typically under-fry their products so they never really crisp up. Delivery methods only make matters worse, since sealed, steamy containers make the skin squishy, and heat not meant for blue cheese dressing yields a warm puddle of unappetizing goo. It's gross. Don't eat them.

Either go out to a bar and get bombed with your wings or cook them at home. It's necessary. There are 745,000 recipes for cooking wings at home, and if you don't like deep frying, you can bake them, which you shouldn't because deep frying is delicious and let's be honest you already blew up your New Year's resolution anyway.

My top recipe pick? This one. I've got Korean fried chicken on the brain and that recipe looks like a damn good one.

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9 comments
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Dee
Dee

I think your cursing was unnecessary!

ObserverFan
ObserverFan

Pluckers has the best wings, hands down. Wingstop has baby wings and Buffalo Wild Wings brings it mad weak with their sauces.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

I hate chicken wings; you have to eat like 1000 to fill up.  

ps-Let's all root on our Pats!

Storm_71
Storm_71

Ok so I have a wing question. May sound stupid but where the hell does the little ass wings and drums that most chain restaurants (Wing Stop, Hooters ect) sell come from? I mean when you go to the grocery store and buy raw wings and drums they are all normal size like the ones pictured above. Is there people that raise tiny baby chickens just for the wings places or what?

just sayin'
just sayin'

Thats actually a damn good question. Baby wings are one of the reasons that I hate Wingstop. That and the fact that I gave them one last chance a couple of months back while in Valley Ranch and got food poisoning for my troubles.

The best wings that I ever ate were actually at a damn titty bar like 10-12 years ago. This dude would go to a few strip clubs like the dudes you would ocassionally see walking around selling single stem roses, except he called himself the "King of Chicken Wings". Holy shit they were incredible. Great flavor and they were the size of the chicken you would expect to find in a bucket at KFC. He gave me a flyer and said that he cooked them at Dallas Gentlemans Club and made the rounds on strip club row. Man that dude was an artist.

ringo
ringo

i rec rinsing, drying and tossing the wings in flour, then into a wok with some oil. not too much.

i suppose it's something of a deep fry and pan fry. but they get real crispy and dont require too much effort or oil. toss w/ whichever sauce you prefer.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

Clicks wings, the best in Arlington, see ya Sunday

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Serious Eats just did a double-fried wing piece yesterday. Somewhat involved, but probably worth the effort.

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