Can Neighborhood Services Tavern Turn This Green Box of Crap Into Awesome St. Patrick's Day Booze Drinks?
...And a potato.
Welcome to the return of The Box. Last time, Matt McCallister turned the ingredients from the box into a bunch of awesome Super Bowl appetizers. This time, we gave our big box of crap to Craig Cottier, the surprisingly unbearded drink-mixer-man at Neighborhood Services Tavern. (Seriously, can you mix drinks in this town without some kind of jokey facial hair? Let's find out.)
When we asked Cottier if we should refer to him as a bartender or a mixologist, he replied, "Mixtender." Oh, man. This is going to be so much fun.
Here's the challenge, as we sent it to him:
Dearest Neighborhood Services Tavern drink-mixer-man, Craig Cottier,
St. Patrick's Day is coming up in a few weeks, and we'd like you to solve a problem we have: We love St. Patrick's day. We want to celebrate by drinking drinks. But, green beer is so incredibly grody.
Green beer tastes like Hulk splooge. Please fix.
We need you to create three different St. Patty's Day-appropriate drinks that taste better than green beer, using the ingredients in this box.
Box contents: jalapeno, potato, lime, rosemary, green apple licorice, cilantro, green sugar, mint jelly, cucumber, Main Root ginger brew, Kiss Grapefruit soda and Shirakiku Carbonated Ramune Drink (melon flavor).
You must use every ingredient in the box. (Note: You are also allowed to add ingredients to your drinks that are not in the box. Read: boozes.)
We'll see you soon.
--Alice & Nick
When we handed Cottier the box, he immediately started sorting it and psyching himself up for the challenge:
Cottier: "This is cool. I've already got some ideas for this. This is going to be cool."
Alice: "How about that potato? Got an idea for that?"
Cottier: "I ... no. Not yet."
Good luck, Mr. Mixtender. We believe in your drink-shaking powers. In the meantime, let's hear it Aters -- what three drinks do you think we're going to get?