Five Dishes to Avoid on a Date

Categories: Lists

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Dallas' restaurants will buzz with Valentine's diners tonight, but not every dish is built for impressing a date. As a public service, we've compiled a list of some food items to avoid at some of our favorite date spots.

Gloria's (above) makes for an ideal date spot, with its numerous locations scattered throughout the metroplex, upbeat vibe and very potent margaritas. The Salvadorian restaurant offers an expansive menu with plenty of options, but we recommend avoiding the Tostada Dinner if you intend on scoring an end-of-date smoocharoo. This is one of the least flattering meals to order. Ground beef, or chicken, comes scattered atop a fried tortilla that's smeared with beans and topped with lettuce, queso fresco, sour cream and guacamole. The heaping pile is meant to be eaten with the hands, like a mini pizza. The problem is that the tortilla ends up crumbling under the pressure of a bite, causing a topping avalanche that is likely to land in your lap. And with all those toppings in your lap, where will your date sit?

*****

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Bellini's, although located in a creepy strip mall, makes for a quaint date spot. The ambience is romantic, and the menu offers everything from eggplant parmesan to hand-tossed pizza. But we recommend that anyone dressed in a color other than black avoid the hearty spaghetti and meatballs, which come swimming in tangy red marinara sauce or meat sauce sprinkled with fresh basil. It's very tasty, but messy. The noodles fling sauce, regardless of whether the pasta is cut, twirled or slurped.

*****

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The Porch's menu has something for everybody, from fried green tomatoes and burrata caprese to smoked brisket enchiladas, plus one of the most expansive specialty black boards in town. And the Henderson location makes it an ideal place to kick off a night of barhopping, making it an appropriate Valentine's date spot. The Porch's award-winning Stodg Burger, however, won't help anyone get laid unless their date is into greasy, yolk-covered fingers. The burger comes fully loaded with aged cheddar, Nueske's applewood smoked bacon, and a fried egg, on a glistening foie-buttered bun.

*****

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At Sushi Zushi, dim lighting, the persistent thump of dance music, and a extensive menu loaded with sushi options make for an ideal date spot. But while some consider sushi to be an aphrodisiac, the fishy delicacy isn't always sexy -- and that's certainly the case with Sushi Zushi's Crawfish Toreado Roll. The roll comes with Toreado Serrano peppers, kanikama crab, avocado, and is topped with either fried or broiled crawfish and smothered with a spicy mayonnaise sauce. It's delicious, but good luck eating each piece in one bite without getting sauce all over your face.

*****

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Forty rotating drafts and 85 bottles of beer, paired with friendly service, a warm environment and delicious share plates, make Meddlesome Moth an ideal date spot. There is, however, one item that we recommend skipping if you're planning on sharing more than just your food with your date: The pita and hummus, while mighty tasty, is a hurricane of garlic.

Location Info

Venue

Map

Gloria's

600 N. Bishop Ave., Dallas, TX

Category: Restaurant

Bellini's Cafe & Pizza

3810 Congress Ave., Dallas, TX

Category: Restaurant

The Porch

2912 N. Henderson Ave., Dallas, TX

Category: Music

Sushi Zushi

3858 Oak Lawn Ave., Dallas, TX

Category: Restaurant

Meddlesome Moth

1621 Oak Lawn Ave., Dallas, TX

Category: Music

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8 comments
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Guest
Guest

Just cut the damn tostada into fourths.

God these Yankee Observer food writers...

sammieswords
sammieswords

You would definitely hate to ruin a date by ordering the wrong thing. So just remember: play it safe when ordering....but go ahead and get your fill of your favorites at home, like peppers! If you're a pepper lover visit Garden Harvest Supply to see their selection of pepper plants for sale. 

http://www.gardenharvestsupply...

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

I know I know (like Horsack)!  Hot dogs and salmon, because you'll both have doubts. 

ps-If she tries to eat broccoli, slap it out of her hand.....just  like if yer eatin' 5 alarm chili, she should just leave you.  Ahhhhmmm (throat clearing), beware the AFTERMATH!  Last thing one wants to witness is a potential suitor in the john at 4 AM, moaning like a wounded elk.......the whole while the TP spool is just a spinnin', and the toilet is flushing rapidly at 30 second intervals.  Jes sayin'. 

Danielle8483
Danielle8483

I don't see how this article is relevant to anything at all. 

Mervis
Mervis

Staying home with the cats and an episode of Glee tonight Danielle?

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

she aint watching glee, she is hunting down that next episode of scorned on ID

cp
cp

Do you not know how to eat a top-heavy tostada? You turn it upside-down on your plate, stab it with your fork and knife several times (to get it to break up before it gets soggy), then mix it all around to make a taco salad. Then eat with fork. You're welcome. 

Nic Rodriguez
Nic Rodriguez

My next lady is going to appreciate garlic breath...

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