Back Away from the Fro-Yo Toppings, You Undisciplined Flavor Freaks

Categories: Complaint Desk

beautiful yogurt creation.jpg
Apparently you guys like it when I'm angry, so I was all ready to launch into my next rant about the odd concept that is the modern yogurt shop, including Yumilicious in Uptown, which I visited last week. But it didn't feel right to rail on the shop. Everyone in the place seemed happy. They're doing something right.

After some consideration I realized: I have nothing against dessert, or yogurt, or toppings, or serve-yourself, or millions of options, either. I do wish some of the toppings here tasted a little less plasticine, but that's not the reason we're here. No, it's the customers and their egregious flavor behavior that made me want to start throwing Jelly Worms at people.

I'd never been to Yumilicious, or any of the similarly constructed yogurt shops around town, so I cased the place as I would any new dining experience, surveying all the options before committing to anything. I settled on avocado yogurt. I offset its pleasing tang with sweet pineapple, then added some texture with the oily crunch of chopped almonds.

I should have stopped there, but that's the problem with the limitless topping station. Like a fat kid at the buffet without parental supervision, it's hard to know when to stop. I thought the sourness of ruby grapefruit slices would add another welcomed dimension to my creation, and it was a fine addition for sure. But it was entirely unnecessary. I should have stopped with my first two toppings. They were simple and more than adequate.

But compared to my tablemates, I proved to be the Rothko of yogurt construction. Their Pollockian creations included multiple yogurt flavors and so many toppings it looked like a candy store exploded. After a few bites their yogurt tubs looked like a nightmare. I asked if anyone could discern any individual flavors in what now looked like Willy Wonka throw-up. They couldn't. Of course they couldn't.

I tried to explain that just a modicum of restraint would produce a more pleasurable yogurt experience, complete with discernible flavors and textures, but my friends just smiled and continued to shove the melting goop into their yogurt holes. It was a lost cause. Yumilicious brings out the inner child in us that loves excess, I guess. That's probably why they're as busy as they are.

fro yo shit show.jpg

Location Info

Yumilicious

3800 McKinney Ave., Dallas, TX

Category: Restaurant

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23 comments
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shortbusbasementdweller
shortbusbasementdweller

If I wanna eat healthy ice cream...i'll go with a frozen banana. Yeah, I keep frozen bananas on hand...say sumthin'!

Nic Rodriguez
Nic Rodriguez

How is Gob these days?

G_David
G_David

Married to Christina Applegate and a stay-at-home-dad.

shortbusbasementdweller
shortbusbasementdweller

That one on the left looks like the refried beans flavored yogurt with remnants of melted cheese topping, here and there. Also, I see a few black bean toppings have yet to be devoured....YUMMY

foodbitch
foodbitch

I have to agree with Scott (besides, he paid me off).

I, too, feel sorry for the topping-loaders, but they're happy, so I let them be.

Myself? I love the peanut butter or pistachio flavors and I limit myself to one fruit and perhaps one non-fruit topping per visit. Maybe bananas and dark chocolate chips for the peanut butter. Pistachio gets blackberries and granola. Start getting greedy and you're just a mess.

But then again, I do love me some Jelly Worms...

Nic Rodriguez
Nic Rodriguez

I'm more subtle, too. I get the plain, or if there has to be a flavor...sweet cream. Then I add some mochi because that stuff rocks, blueberries and maybe some raspberries.  Simple and awesome.

Allie
Allie

I'm a fan of jelly worms and gummy bears except when they become a frozen dessert topping. They get hard and impossible to eat!

Anna Merlan
Anna Merlan

Why you gotta be hatin' on my melting, rainbow-sprinkled, mochi and Oreo-covered explosion of awesome, Scott? 

Nick R.
Nick R.

Kinda looks like someone blended a cartoon character

Anna Merlan
Anna Merlan

I call it: "Finding Nemo... Then Mashing Him Up In a Blender And Eating Him." 

Christopher
Christopher

And herein lies why they charge you by weight...they know you can't stop and gellies and nuts are relatively heavy.  Myself, I am a yogurt minimalist; I like the sour tart of plain yogurt, or some slight variation of that flavor, with a dash of crushed peanuts for texture.  Yumilicious (old schoolers still call it Yogilicious) has frequent-yogurting cards that is embarrassingly easy to fill up for your free yogurt.  And every time you do, it reminds you that you spend $100 there, which only adds to the embarrassment.  I Heart Yogurt is another solid yogurting choice.  It's locations are always rife with screaming Parkie kids but they clearly have superior chocolate, espresso and peanut butter (fat free) flavors, if you're into that sort of thing.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

It's really no different than going to Sweet Tomatoes and knowing the jicima really doesn't add anything to the salad but you can't resist throwing it on anyway.

Avocado yogurt? Okay then. That definitely seems to be flavor that says "don't eff me up with mix-ins"

Maybe some chopped cilantro. That's it.

Jon Daniel
Jon Daniel

Too artsy fartsy/DR

Pauline in Prosper
Pauline in Prosper

I thought you liked that artsy/Dallas city/hipster bullshit, you fat frickin' toad. 

Jon Daniel
Jon Daniel

Zoom - sonic boom

Jon Daniel
Jon Daniel

Oh Al, I'm not fat. I'm big. BIG

Allen
Allen

fat is fat bubby

Jon Daniel
Jon Daniel

seriously - are you calling me fat?  really?  That's all you have.. Is this 9th grade?

Kris121
Kris121

nope, fizzle and art-fatso!

Kris121
Kris121

ahh hhahhh ahhhahhhha!  (Kerg's laughing), because someone else knows JD's line of BS.....hhha hhhhhhaaaaaaaa!  

ps-Tell us how big yo are again.  Ha hhahahhhahhhah! (laughing like the Musers when Mike told Jan he loved her). 

Jon Daniel
Jon Daniel

Ticket schtick is only funny when the Ticket guys do it, mostly. Otherwise you are just a Ticket Jock Sniffer of the type that hangs around ticket stocks to hear the timewasters

jon from tjs
jon from tjs

my wife is a monet - slight variations on a theme for 30+ visits.

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