But I Don't Want to Go the Fuck There for Drinks

Categories: Complaint Desk

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A new website has been making the rounds for the past few weeks. Created by Coolagraphy, a creative consultancy dedicated to cool, wherethefuckshouldIgofordrinks uses your zip code or internet geolocation to offer up random watering holes with a side of salty banter. It's fun for about seven seconds.

Using Dallas as a search string yielded the Cavern Ale House, which nobody at the office had heard of. I tried the office zip code and got this number...

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Why the fuck would I want to drink with dogs? I clicked the "this place fucking sucks" button and then Pekers, Brick Joe's, some place in Belgium (zipcode typo, maybe) and Winetastic all followed. Not really my sort of place.

Finally one came up that I recognized...

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Yeah, I know that place. A cool little dive with bar food and a patio. But do I really have to click 20 times to find a watering hole? Maybe I should just ask you bastards, instead. Where the fuck should I go for drinks?


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32 comments
loki965
loki965

The Cavern existed at one time.  It was a pretty cool little place to have a drink and watch the budding hipsters(pre-facial hair revival) cavort.

Simon McDonald
Simon McDonald

The Starlight RULES!  If you're super nice,the owner may go out to his truck and get you some of his handmade mixed nut mix.  I also bought meat out of some guys truck there once.  It was from Albertson's.  I think he may have stolen it, but it was as delicious as the ridiculously cheap and cold-as-fuck Budweiser.  Bonus:  The It'll Do is RIGHT NEXT DOOR!

Beckamassie
Beckamassie

I rhought it was wrong, but my criends said its about right. Either bj's place or the copa cabana..what in the hell. I need to move.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

Anyone know how to turn real time updating on? 

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

Why wont the mother effer work, just keeps telling me to wait the fuck up

Dan "The Man" Levitan
Dan "The Man" Levitan

It is telling me to go to El Az Be Oro Night Club on Dolphin Rd. Somehow, I don't think that I'd fit in there...

Jon Daniel
Jon Daniel

Lee Harvey's or Stan's. Completely different crowd, but both will work. It one of those January days where it feels like San Diego after the marine layer pulls out.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Pretty crass headline.  My college journalism teacher defined swearing anywhere in a story (yes, even headlines) as a perceived weakness.  First world problem.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Can I propose it as an app and ask the Kickstarter community for $65,000?

Whitney Filloon
Whitney Filloon

Have you been to the Starlight Lounge (4319 Main)? I passed by it the other day and it looks like such a shit hole I'm almost intrigued enough to check it out. The sign advertised beer & wine... I'm interested to see what kind of wine they have, perhaps a fine vintage Sutter Home Chardonnay. My favorite dives to drink at are the Grapevine ($2 fucking Everclear bellinis, don't judge me) and Lee Harvey's. One of my friends keeps bugging me to check out Adair's for the burgers, haven't made it there yet.

JesseHughey
JesseHughey

Good idea for a site, but they should have fucking finished it before it went live. It returned only one bar (O'Malley's) for my ZIP code and when I entered Oak Cliff, Dallas, TX, it said "Can't find shit there. Try somewhere else." Right, because there are no bars in Oak Cliff.

The only returns for 75208 (Bishop Arts ZIP) were the Kessler Theater and El Disco De Oro.

Scott, you should fucking go to O'Malley's Club. Or El Disco De Oro.

joshWAH__
joshWAH__

best fucking article all day.

Scott Reitz
Scott Reitz

We did Lee Harvey's the last time it was 70+. Dry burgers, cold beer, stellar sunshine and wind that kept robbing us of our menus.

I'm all about Whitney's Starlight rec for tonight.... I think.  Who knows.

WherethefuckshouldIgofordrinks?

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Dallas trash hipster nonsense-sir.  Hey, will you go on a rant about nice Dallas is, and what a BEAUTIFUL city it is.  I love that demented rant.  Other beautiful things:

-Garland-Dentist-Wife Bitching -Working Late

ps-You may use any of these when you send a retort.

ps-Don't forget to tell us what a big man you are-sir.

Love yer Plano.

Joe Tone
Joe Tone

I perceive your college journalism teacher to be boring.

G_David
G_David

I also drive by this dive almost daily - and as I recall, the Observer included it in a list of local dive bars some months ago.  Didn't sound that promising, but I also am intrigued.  I love dive bars, and I also love the burgers at Adair's.  Listen to your friends.

Scott Reitz
Scott Reitz

I've been wanting to try that out since I got here. Past it on the way home from Ibex.... Need to get there.... maybe now.

Who's in?

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

he gave up yesterday, kergo 4.0 failed, his li-ion batteries failed and he burnt to the ground like a chevy volt

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Yes sir.....the headline is crass-sir.  Besides, I turned over a new leaf, as of this morning. Welcome Christian Leaning Kergie 7.4.  

Scott Reitz
Scott Reitz

Living in a blind bliss. What's winter?

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

That's it?  I didn't even draw you offsides?  

JD-1........Kerg's-0. 

Jon Daniel
Jon Daniel

I think you would make more sense as an evangelical

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