Stupid Starbucks Raises Its Stupid Prices: 10 Better Uses of Your 10 Cents

CakePop01.jpg
Raise the prices on your cake balls, Starbucks. We dare you.
Starbucks is raising their prices, y'all. I had no idea brown water could cost as much as it already does, and now they're raising the price?

This is a bunch of bologna sandwich.

The Wall Street Journal says that the change "raises the cost of a 'tall,' or 12-ounce, coffee in some New York City stores by 10 cents to $1.85. Not all sizes will see price increases." Prices will also increase in Dallas, Atlanta and other cities across the Northeast and the Sun Belt.

And to that, maybe you say, "Oh, 10 cents? That's not much." But, you're wrong. It's much.

Here are 10 better uses of your extra 10 cents than spending it on stupid fucking Starbucks:

crystalspizza.jpg
Flickr
We'd rather save our 10 cents for the totally-not-creepy-at-all games at Crystal's
1. Snapping 10 pennies in a singing barista's face.

2. Getting an extra Skittle on your froyo at Yogurtland. (Red.)

3. Scratching off a losing lottery ticket.

4. Making 10 wishes in a fountain, including, "Please let all the Starbuckses turn into Crystal's Pizzas one day."

5. Having a long conversation with FDR about how ordering a "tall" instead of a "small" is stupid.

6. Ten-penny Jenga.

7. Sending it to Sarah McLaughlin's sad dogs and cats thing.

8. Dropping 10 pennies on the ground so that you can come back later, pick them up and have 10 days of good luck.

9. Buying an ounce of gasoline for your Hummer.

10. Taking 10 Abraham Lincolns to Babydolls.

There are plenty of places in Dallas where you can buy an actually delicious cup of coffee and still have money left over to treat some dead presidents to a couple lap dances. Make sure you're getting the most out of that spare change, Aters.

My Voice Nation Help
25 comments
Polly A Turner-Rivera
Polly A Turner-Rivera

May I ask why you are so hateful and mean to someone who is trying to bring a little sunshine and happiness to people? Encouraging people to punch them in the nose or flick pennies in their face for being nice and cheeful? You my dear Alice must be a sadist, and have severe anger management issues. I would say the majority of people like a cheerful, friendly, happy person serving them and a song is even better! Customer service is a tough job, I dare you to try it for a week and see if you would even survive.

foodbevlaw
foodbevlaw

25 (or so) years ago, Crystal's had a display case full of china dolls in lace dresses.  Now they have an unholy band of Chuckie-eqsue evil trying to steal souls from inside that cabinet.  

God help us all if they ever find the key.

Guest
Guest

Only things I get are the Hot Chocolates, Tea (Ice and Hot) and the Caramel Apple spice. I don't drink the coffee, so I can not comment on the coffee. However, I don't mind paying for those drinks.

Booker Noe
Booker Noe

Hey @Cmc0072 I drink a quad espresso everyday. Its potent. Low calories, low price, taste consistently good, and its readily available at all starbucks. Which is convenient. Point out my other choices in Las Colinas? Oh that's right there arent any other choices for quality espresso before 7am. -Mr. Dipshit over and out.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

I don't waste my money on this crap anyway!  5 bucks on coffee is too much.  With that 5 bucks I can buy:

-1 NY Times-2 Racetrac Hot Dogs-1 Large bottle of water

You do the math.

Cmc0072
Cmc0072

I'll be straightforward: F Starbucks and all the dipshits who buy coffee there. 

Nic Rodriguez
Nic Rodriguez

Crystal's game tokens taught me valuable lessons about how to negotiate a deal, how to scam a sucker, and how to exact vengeance on those who have scammed you. Lessons every 8yr old should learn.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Gary,    This post is really making me mad.  Even more than the Westboro Baptist Church post.  Dude, if'n you are real, the BAD current list reads as follows:

5) Mary4) TW3) JD2) dr g.1) Scott 0) Gary the fruity drink guy.

ps-Please tell me this is a joke.....I'm going to the garage to do 140 push up's to clear my mind. then Imma drink 6 Shiney's.  Then I'm going to smoke a brisket.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

The more I think of this post, the more I detect a fake poster.......nobody is this lame. 

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Really Gary......uhhhmmmmm.......ahhh......... wow, I BET when I'm fishing in the Kiamichi's tomorrow that I won't run into you?  And when I'm making camp in the back country, I BET that you won't be within 5 miles of a tree; sir?  Gary Gary Gary; is this the Gary from Teen Mom?  

Notes for Gary to Ponder-From the Kerg's:

-Go outside, anywhere outside; you seem like a Garland sort of guy....check out the Old Growth Forest at Spring Creek. (Side note: I tripped so much balls one time at Spring Creek, that I thought I was Karate Santa). -Cook Outside.  My guess is that you are fat; being outside makes you thin-sir!-NEVER EVER order that collection of drinks mentioned above.....guys and girls think that  you are asexual........"jes sayin'"....sir. -Most Important:  If you post here again, post under another name. 

Coleman
Coleman

Is that like a thing in las Colinas? you're the fourth person I've heard of from Las Colinas that drinks so much coffee their assholes must be blown out. Are there office competitions, or something?

Trent
Trent

I make my own espresso at home with my $35 Mr. Coffee Espresso machine, and it tastes far better than their crap. Takes me 2 minutes. I bought a reusable coffee cup and sometimes buy the disposable coffee cups with lids I don't want to fart around with cleaning my main cup. I get my own fresh beans and grind them with my $9 grinder. Starbucks does the exact same thing. All-in-all it costs me about 0.10 to 0.20 per cup depending on what I do with it and the type of coffee I use. Cut out the middle man, Starbucks coffee beans suck balls and so do their prices. I can't wait to hear the "I don't have time" excuse. You stand or sit in line longer than it takes to make your own better cup of espresso. But I understand, nobody tells me how to spend my money either. - Royal Dipshit over and out

minus
minus

Screw that. 4 Quiktrip Hot Dogs and 2 large fountain drinks.

Booker Noe
Booker Noe

I have a tassimo at home. It has little pucks you stick in it. press button. espresso. I guess I also enjoy sitting inside Bux and relaxing before I start my day in the office. Its more of a tradition.

One day I plan on buy a nice machine to make my own espresso, the way you're describing. Happy sipping.

-Fellow Dipshit over and out

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

eff that, 2 $1 stellas, a $1 tip to her and $2 for the dancer on the pole behind me

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

I guess you reading comprehension is lacking from all the liquor you've consumed.  She wasnt dancing for me, she was dancing on a stage with a pole behind me for the rest of the club advertising herself.  Now if she wants to come grind on me personally then Ill gladly hand over a $20 or 3.

TLS
TLS

Remind me not to dance for you, cheap ass.

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Loading...