I Finally Had Lakewood Landing's Famous Midnight Corn Dog, and It Kinda Sucked

Categories: Whimsy

Lakewood Corndog 1.jpg
Sixty-five minutes till corn dog bliss. Or so I thought.
I have been chasing a corn dog for six months. I offer this as a testament to my growing insanity.

Maybe not six, exactly. I can't remember the first time I went to the Lakewood Landing, that neighborhood's beloved dive, but I remember Nick Rallo mentioning my white whale.

We'd suffered through a meal at Rohst and arrived at the bar to recover with cold beer. Rallo told me of a secret corn dog that only appeared after midnight. I asked the waitress if I could try one, but it was only 9 p.m.. We drank till 11, then turned in the towel, too drunk and too tired to wait for our battered reward.

For the next few months I visited the Landing several times and always missed the beast. The story was always the same. Come too early, drink too much, go home empty-stomached.

Until last weekend.

Grabbing my seat at the bar, I looked at the small LCD readout of an alarm clock. 10:55 p.m. Just over an hour. I could do this. Tonight was the night.

I asked the bartender again if the corn dog would be making an appearance. "Yes, at midnight," she replied. I asked if they could make an exception; I've been trying to tackle the beast for so long, I said. She fell silent and moved on to her next customer, and I, once again rebuffed by the vaunted Corn Dog Defense Squad, settled in for a session at the bar.

I drank Budweiser after Budweiser and began to falter. My dinner had been small -- three surprisingly decent tacos and two sides at Urban Taco a few hours prior, plus some popcorn at the movie theater -- and my wait seemed long. I talked to a dude sitting next to me who cooked at the Capital Grill at the Crescent about bar food. He ordered some wings. I talked to some drunken Observer staffers who had stumbled into the bar on happenstance.

Lakewood Wings.jpg
11:45 p.m. I could see the shore and knew tonight was my night. I grabbed my bartender and tried to place my order again. Her response shook me. Not only was she dead serious about waiting till midnight exactly to honor my request, but the tiny clock was 10 minutes fast. I had 20 minutes to go. My stomach groaned. I put in an order of ten wings, extra crispy, with blue cheese, please. I ate every last one.

Midnight. The tone of the bar shifted like an ocean breeze. Everyone crowded the old wooden structure, drunkenly putting in their orders. Corn dog. Corn dog. Corn dog. I put in my order, too, and sat with muddled anticipation tempered by a belly full of chicken wings that was now far from hungry. And then they came -- basket after basket of corn dogs, up and down the bar.

lakewood Corndog 2.jpg
Lakewood Landing's corn dog is fun. It's fine that they have a time-honored tradition that patrons have come to expect and crave with drunken fervor. Over four or five attempts I'd listened to person after person describe the glory that is the jalapeño corn dog. Their enthusiasm had whipped me into a froth.

Turns out, though, that Lakewood Landing's corn dog is not that good. My first bite tasted of spent oil, my second revealed a slightly wet batter interior against a link with a cool center. The mustard was fine, but the jalapeño was all but non-existent. Only a few tiny black flecks were evidence that the pepper was included at all. I felt duped.

But you have to respect the game. Put a secret corn dog on your menu and talk about it but don't serve it. Not yet. Let patrons swill in cheap beer and whiskey as their hunger and drunkenness builds. At midnight release them unto a feeding frenzy. Who could notice they're not that great? Not terrible, for sure, but not great. Just another corn dog -- at least it would be if they served it before the clock struck midnight.

Location Info

Lakewood Landing

5818 Live Oak St., Dallas, TX

Category: Music


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19 comments
MeeMaw
MeeMaw

Every time I've been to the Landing, and I've been more times than I can count, they start selling the corn dogs at 11pm.  Not sure where all this midnight business is coming from....

will106
will106

i know it's an old article.... but MAN. how obnoxious can you be at a bar? it's a dive bar! don't expect to much and seriously don't ask for favors.... asking multiple times about the same thing, begging for an "exception" so that you can have your corney dog before midnight? 

by asking if they were gonna have the corndogs you sold yourself out as someone who doesn't regularly come into the establishment, by asking for special treatment you sold yourself out as an entitled douche. big surprise that your corndog sucked. bugging a bar tender isn't gonna get you preferential treatment

Carter
Carter

i think it's a little unfair to get all foodied out about this drunken delicacy. give me a break. like your tone is just so serious all the time. it's a gag, it's fun and it's a staple. it never intended to be critiqued in a food blog other than being merely mentioned for the novelty.

Steve D
Steve D

Here's the deal (not that the place needs defending from me, but ...): The kitchen used to close at 11 (12 on weekends). Customers asked if the bar could pretty-please do just a little something late-night, so they wouldn't have to hit the freakin' Jack In the Box on the way home. So they started doing corn dogs. Simple. They are cheap, you don't need a full kitchen staff .. that kind of thing. And it's a corny dog!  You're not ordering an organic turkey burger here!  What, exactly, did you expect?  It's something to mop up the booze, see? The regulars and most drop-ins understand the 11 pm deal, and they are generally cool about it.  It's no big deal.  Sounds like someone just got a little offended that he couldn't get the special treatment. 

G_David
G_David

Man, I'd hate to meet the beast that considers 3 tacos and 2 sides to be a "small" dinner.

Urban Taco
Urban Taco

Loved your post. Very entertaining. Feel free to come back for more tacos!

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Is said corndog kin to the 3AM Racetrac loaded, 2 for 2 dolla hotdogs?  Or, the 3:30 IHOP steak n' cheese?  Good goin' down, and BAD comin' out; as it is 50% grease, salt and hair.

jon from tjs
jon from tjs

flechers @ fair is only corn dog i've ever liked.

todd
todd

Is it just me or does Midnight Corn Dog sound like something you would read about on Urban Dictionary?

Snack Perkins
Snack Perkins

That newly opened "The Stand" place on McKinney boasts a hand-dipped corny dog. Go try it and report back, Reitzface. 

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

That's actually a pretty good bit..methinks if you hadn't ordered the wings, that may of been an excellent corndog.  How many times an evening do you eat man?  Effing sit down, drink the beera and chill..when it's time it's time.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

She lives right down yonder from me; and dude, she is "cleanup hitter".  She bats fourth for a reason!  She's got what they call, the "jelly in the back".......jiggly!

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

More like a 230am QT chicken and cheese taquito.

ChikinFriedSnake
ChikinFriedSnake

Cross between a "Cleveland Steamer" & a "Dirty Sanchez" perhaps? Does it come with a "Reacharound"?

On that note, the name "Urban Taco" has always sounded a bit dirty to me as well.

mark
mark

 HA! I've got Reitzface on my desktop. Unfortunately, I don't the keyboard tap-tap tricks for zoom and enhance..enhance..enhance..

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

It not always "dirty" or sexual in nature.....the Dallas Dirty refers to that cities state of disrepair.

Snack Perkins
Snack Perkins

Who commandeered my Chicken Fried Snake handle??

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