Wanted: A Bar That Doesn't Blow On New Years

Categories: Complaint Desk

champagne plastic.jpg
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Never serve Veuve in plastic, give them J. Roget instead
There's a slew of press releases in my inbox about New Year's Eve menus from various local restaurants. I haven't written about any of them for a simple reason: Dining out on New Years Eve is invariably terrible. It's almost certainly No. 2 behind Valentine's Day for the worst day of the year to patronize a restaurant.

The reason is simple: These are two of the three days of the year when anyone and everyone dines out. Mother's Day is the third, and while I'd happily desecrate that brunch fiasco I must refrain. It would make me a bad son.

Restaurants know all this, so they squeeze you by the wallet until it bleeds. You've got no choice. No options. They set up fancy fixed-price menus and prepare for the churn. Like an industrious street hooker, they turn covers like tricks -- get 'em in, get the check, get 'em out, reset the table. No kissing on the mouth, please. This is business.

I'm being drastic, I know. And certainly there are a handful of restaurants that can not only handle the deluge, but also resist the temptation to use these holidays to tap your finances like a money keg. They're firmly in the minority, however, and dining landmines are struck far more often than evenings are safely navigated.

And that's just dinner. With eating out of the way you'll want to go out party, right? Have at it. But Prix Fixe follows you everywhere. You wanna drink, too? Now they're really got you by the balls.

I've even seen a legitimate dive bar plaster its walls with banners touting all you can drink, a food buffet, and a $65 cover charge -- gratuity not included. Translation? Give us 65 bones and we'll let you wait 20 minutes for every drink, fill a chaffing dish with salty, flaccid wings and cheeseburgers we bought yesterday, and please, don't even think about getting cheap on us. Remember to tip your barkeep.

This just doesn't sound fun. With a high cost of entrance, you're essentially trapped in whatever establishment you choose first. That's not a party; that's the dinner cruise from hell.

Go if you must. God knows we've all done it, swam through midnight in a bottomless well of cheap liquor and sparkling wine masquerading as real champagne. Not this year, though. Not me. I'll be in my bathtub with a hot dog and a bottle of the good stuff.

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Perry Moore
Perry Moore

Lighthouse Grocery in Uncertain, Texas for the afternoon, followed by a trip to Uncertain Tavern, right down the road, for midnight festivities. Oh yeah, it's beer/wine/set-ups only at the bar, so you can get blistered mighty cheap on your own rotgut. Also, bring your fireworks and we'll blow off our fingers at midnight. Nice folks are everywhere, and you can walk down to our cabin with us if you miss the last bus home. The parking lots are mostly gravel, so sensible shoes are definitely the order of the day. Harleys park right in front, by the door.

Brent
Brent

J. Blacks... I've had multiple great N.Y. Eve's at the one in Austin and in Dallas.  Great staff and a bonus... the food is great!  Had the Texas Sliders and BBQ Pulled Pork Pizza last night... amazing.

michellegvine
michellegvine

Just to add my two cents, for $65 you won't have to wait for your drinks, and for food you get pork tenderloin, bacon wrapped meatloaf, lemon chicken, beef brisket, garlic mashed potatoes, broccoli rice casserole and black eyed peas. At the Grapevine we make sure everyone always has a blast since we don't over sell the tickets. Its our new year's eve too and we want to have a good time.

Jessica
Jessica

I am a 26 years old girl, down to earth and cute but still single ... I  wanna find my lover who  can give me a real love,so I joined in the seekcasual.COM,it's the best club for  man and woman finding their intimate encounters. Well, you do not have to be lonely , you  can meet the Mr. or Miss. Right there.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Just stay home.  Risking my life so every teen, and twentysomething within 50 miles can get shitfaced drunk and drive is not my idea of AWESOME.  Driving in Dallas past 10 PM on New Years Eve is like Russian roulette, and she better be PRETTY damn special!  I mean cookin', cleanin', atleast 50 grand a year special.

GusMitchem
GusMitchem

If your young enough to believe in NYE parties, then your young enough to have a friend ambitious enough to throw a house party.

If your so excited you have to go to a bar on NYE,  then you should have ample energy to put up with the bullshit  

The Quarter Bar
The Quarter Bar

At the Quarter Bar, you don't have to wear a tuxedo or stilettos. We're just having one hell of a good time!  Featuring DJ Kutthroat, Champagne at midnight, light appetizers and party favors. $10.00 at the door.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Ok, rapping is involved, so I'm sure most of us in the demo are out.  And I'm almost positive the drinks will be $10.00 a pop.  Nope, I'll be at Chili's on 75, in Plano.  

Rangers100
Rangers100

North of Woodall.  No thanks.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Oh brother, then Go to Houston and make us all happy!  That's not north of WR!  My thing is not to go south of 190....it makes me feel icky; in fact I normally go to "Colorada", or points north.  

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

"I'll be in my bathtub with a hot dog and a bottle of the good stuff."  I believe this is the 2nd time you've referenced your dong in a post, but youve got a ways to go to catch alice. 

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Congrats on the championship Merk, we're gonna have to name our trophy after you..

just sayin'
just sayin'

I don't necessarily think Alice has a functioning cock, although she might. I just think when she does one of her mad lib reviews/posts, the only thing she can come up with to fill in the blanks is some version of dick, balls, or shit.

guess
guess

Yes, she does seem to run out of anything more creative than "place expletive" here trite...that could be just copied and pasted, if she were just a bit more efficient. 

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Yes, congrats Merk. You whipped us all soundly, just as New Years Eve is a whipping of epic proportions.

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