We Gave The Grape's Brian Luscher a Big Box of Crap and He Made Us a Quail Egg Terrine

Categories: The Box

The Box. Note the baby food. Yum.
We all know that Dallas chefs are great at cheffing. So we thought it might be fun to give them a chance to show off their chef creativity and skills with a new challenge we'll be calling "The Box." Once a month or so, we'll invite a new lucky soul to attempt to conquer The Box. Their challenge will be to create something awesome out of whatever ingredients are in the box. It'll be like Chopped plus Punk'd, only less terrible. We'll feature everyone from fancy chefs to food truck owners. This month, it's Brian C. Luscher, chef/owner of The Grape. And it's a doozy.

The task for Luscher was simple: Make a fancy appetizer out of the ingredients in The Box. At least one item must be fried (FRY IT!!). If he chooses to opt out of one ingredient, that's fine. But if he doesn't use the ingredient, he has to eat it while I eat his appetizer creation.

Box contents:

Natural Light
Spam (with bacon!)
Easy Cheese
Pickled quail eggs with jalapeños
Hot chocolate mix
Baby food (apples & apricots)
Vienna sausages

When I dropped off Luscher's The Box, before he saw the contents, he asked, "Should this be, like, refrigerated or anything?" Me: "Nope." Him: "Dammit."

Then we gave him three days to come up with something great. With all those choice ingredients at his disposal, this should be a breeze, right?

Holy shit, he made a Vienna Sausage Spam Cheetos Pickled Quail Eggs with Jalapenos Terrine, y'all.
Three days later, Luscher had this badass creation to share. How friggin' beautiful is that Vienna Sausage Spam Cheetos Quail Egg Terrine? Ingredients: elevated. In fact, the dish was so legit-looking that when Luscher posted it on his Facebook page, he got these responses:

When I tweeted about it using the above picture, I got several responses like this one:

Freaking ridiculous is what that is, @jovid52. It tasted like Spam, but better (and hey, that was the hard part, right?) -- more Cheetos-y. The jalapenos covered a lot of tastes that I thought wouldn't work well together and that baby food sauce was somehow pretty nice. Luscher worked serious magic on this box of shit. It was good enough that if you put this in front of a poseur foodie and told them that it was a delicacy, they would believe you. And they would recommend the dish to friends. "Oh, man -- you gotta go to The Grape. Get that terrine he makes with the sausages from Vienna in it. So good."

Luscher describes his creation in the following videos:

First, the presentation of the dish:

Then, the breakdown of the terrine:

And finally, let's fry some shit and throw some middle fingers:

Yes, I ate the fried piece. The beer batter actually wasn't bad. Hear that, State Fair of Texas Big Tex Choice Awards competitors? Not. Bad.

Congratulations, Brian C. Luscher. You beat The Box.

The Box: 0. The Chefs: 1.

Follow City of Ate on Twitter. Follow me at @thecheapbastard.

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Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Kerg’s Here,     Just wanted to wish you all a merry x-mas!  The new Kerg’s 4.0 is sweet, loving, and like his right wing leaning, Christian friends-likes to bake pies, drink coffee and engage in prayer circles.  The model is well within the guidelines of The Joe Tone standard, and is fully equipped with songs, like:“Jesus loves me”“Our God is an awesome God”An added bonus of the Kerg’s 4.0 is that it is translucent, biodegradable, and uses half the energy of Kerg’s 3.0…….it is also diatomaceous, retractable, and even gives whimsical, gentle thoughts while at company gatherings.  It still employees a “leave no trace” ethic. Note: The swiggin’ Budlight feature, while eatin’ chicken parmesan sandwiches has been disabled!  As has the FOODDICK option.

Love You All.-New Kerg.

Chris Danger
Chris Danger

Freaking awesome...we need more of these Alice!! I say hit up that snotty bastard Stephen Pyles and make him take the challenge next go-round...


Only Luscher could be so imaginative with that  boxload of shit ingredients. I'd love to see what he could do on the Food Network's "chopped".


Call me impressed.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

The box contains pretty much everything in my cupboard from my 20's..except for the baby food and hot chocolate..I'm not surprised that a big time chef man could construct something edible with it.  Looks like a bunch of foodstuffs that would be found in the back of your fishing boat.

Natural LightSpam (with bacon!)Easy CheesePickled quail eggs with jalapeñosCheetosHot chocolate mixBaby food (apples & apricots)Vienna sausages


That looks effing disgusting..but then again I know where I'm posting.

Put a $49 pricetag on it and it will make the 2011 top 10 list.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Time to pull all of my comments again? I guess I pissed Joe Tone off!  Hey, I had a great three year run! I was kicked off on DMN, and now I'm being censored here....atleast I create a fire.  Half the shit in this sh+tturd is fucking awful; I mean stinky drivel, drivel that would stun a third grader because it's so lame. You can have this thing, and comment on mashtini's, and foodtrucks, and celebrity bartenders.  Let the inmates run the asylum!  Talk fruity shit all day; go Metrosexuals!  Dallas is the home of nothing but rednecks, wannabee's and yuppies.  I've had better food in OKC, and Little Rock.

BTW,check out www.lemonparty.org......it's fun baking tips!

Kergie out?

Just until I find a new way in "the backdoor"-he he!


@ KergoUhhh... Luscher trained at a different CIA then what your thinking.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Kergs has it on good authority that the base for prison dishes is Cheetos Cheese Puffs or Spicy Cheetos; so, it doesn't surprise me that Cheetos would work as a base flavoring.  

ps-Will you ask the chef if he thinks the European economy will recover next year?  Does he think that V.Putin will be able to keep his presidency?  Finally, is Iran going to give us our drone back?  Oh yeah, and does he expect fighting in the Balkins, in the next few years?

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

I'm a big huge fan of the Kergs...but do not click on that link! You've been warned.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Oh, I thought he was a super agent that karate chops the Taliban. 


1.  The European economy has made some pretty impressive strides, as of late, but I fear "next year" is a little too optimistic.2.  If actions/reactions of Time Magazine's Person of the Year are any indication, highly unlikely.3. I wouldn't.4.  If you are refering to the geographical region of "The Balkans"; has it really ever ended.

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