The Five Most Memorable Cheap-Ass Meals the Cheap Bastard Ate in 2011

mrcharlies.jpg
Mr Charlies ended up being a literal blast.
Every week I try to find a lunch in Dallas that's less than ten bucks. (Of course, empty parking lots, barred windows, cash only and misspelled menu items are always a plus.) Not every meal I discover is delicious, but they're all memorable. Here were my five most memorable Cheap Bastard meals from 2011:

Mr Charlies Hamburgers
It wasn't necessarily the most delicious cheap lunch I've eaten in Dallas, but I'll never forget that meal. An excerpt:

I immediately asked Google to give me directions.

Google: (scared) Uh ... you sure?

Me: Yeah. Mr Charlies Hamburgers. Tell me where that is.

Google: Are you sure, sure, though?

Me: What are you talking about, "Am I sure?" Of course I'm sure. Just fuckin' google yourself, Google.

Google: Fine, asshead. Hope you get crabs.

My Fit Foods
Next time, I'm gonna save the 10 bucks and just microwave a sock and not eat it.

Sabor: A Taco Joint
I haven't been in a dance club in about 10 years, but when I walked into Sabor: A Taco Joint, I thought I'd accidentally broken my streak. ("Shit. Now, I have to give back my 10 Years Free Of Douche Boners In My Back chip and my I No Longer Know All The Words To This Beyonce Song badge. I earned those!")

Ssahm BBQ
I stumbled upon the SSahm BBQ food truck while walking through the Arts District playing hipster bingo. ("Another fedora. Dang. Already got that one. Wait -- there's a dude in somehow-baggy-size-zero skinny jeans walking with a girl in a too-short romper!! She's got a sugar glider in a bonding-pouch necklace!!! Hell yeah! Instant bingo!!!")

Get the kimchee fries. Get happy.
Lucia:
Lucia doesn't even answer the phone when you call to make a reservation. She's like, "Bitch, leave a message if you want a piece of this and I'll decide if you get one this year or not."

****

There are a ton of places in Dallas where you can eat a more memorable, less expensive lunch than you can get at some lame national chain restaurant. I plan to try them all at least once. Hope you'll join me on my hey-bars-on-windows-might-mean-really-authentic-cuisine-mom-'n-pop-cheapo-food journey. Let's live a little in 2012, shall we, bitches? Happy cheap New Year.

Follow City of Ate on Twitter. Follow me at @thecheapbastard.


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2 comments
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guess
guess

School will be back in session soon, so you'll have ample opportunity to go and hang out at the local playgrounds in order to get new material.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Not enough cursing Alice, try to do better in the New Year..douche boners is a pretty nice exacta though.

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