The Coconut Cream Pie at Malai: Not Your Mama's Coconut Cream Pie

In Happy Endings, foodbitch goes on the hunt for Dallas' unsung and unsurpassed desserts. Today: the coconut cream pie at Malai.

After finishing off a delicate salmon dish at Malai, our incredibly perky waitress convinced me to try the coconut cream pie. She swore everybody loved it. Everybody whom she could convince to try a coconut cream pie, of all things, at the Thai-Vietnamese-fusion-restaurant-in-a-somewhat-revolving-door-location, anyway.

Out it came, and it didn't disappoint. The most important thing to note about this slice of awesome is its crust, made from, according to my rough estimation, 75 percent coconut, 15 percent butter and 10 percent magic. It's chewy like a cookie and will make you wonder why all pie crusts aren't made out of the same mix.

hello, lover.
The filling in this pie doesn't read coconut much at all. It's more key lime-like. It's tangy and not too sweet, with the perfect density. A thin, tacky layer of slightly charred meringue sits on top, which is nothing like the Dallas hair-heighted stuff many coconut cream pie eaters are used to. It's a good thing. Intense flavor rules in this creation, as the finishing touch of tamarind sauce swirls around the plate. It adds just the punch this dessert needs to catapult it to you've-GOT-to-try-this status.

Thank you, perky-as-hell waitress. Thank you.

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Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

enjoy this also!  let me know if anyone needs more?____

Ya’ll just thought you wererid of me-but, NOPE!  BTW, since I don’tpost as Kergo anymore, the Kergo of the past two weeks are “fake kergo’s”.  Much to my chagrin (and yers also, I’m sure),they still exist.  But just remember onething.  LEGEND.


Best Of Post:  from August 2010-

·          DearRw,How come you only post pics of ragged old whores? I saw these two out at partycove last week guzzlin' Mojito's and showing the cans to everyone who'll look.Hmmmm,big deal!

Dear Gentleman,Want to see these two? Go to any lake in North Texas, find the ciggy smoke andthe deep haggie voice. Throw down some coke and cheap liquor-and voila', theyare yours!Sure, the t's are nice to look at, but, when she winds up and she's laughingand cacklin', and she needs you to jeopardize your life to get morebeer.....then you start thinking you'd be better off plugging you ears andwishing you'd gone fishing instead.



A nice meal that I created thisweekend:

Oven Roasted Petite Sirloin w/Cracked Pepperand Garlic (cook medium rare)

Plum BBQ Sauce (corn syrup, tom sauce,vinegar, Tabasco, garlic, brown sugar, etc.)

Tuscan Caesar Salad w/Roma Tomatoes, HomemadeCroutons and Roasted Bacon Bits

New Potato Salad w/Diced Ham and SautéedVeggies in a Horseradish Crème Dressing


Goes well with:

-Shiner 101

-1800 Gold


Remember –LEGEND!


Ps-Did you all enjoy the official d.bagholiday, Cinco de Mayo?  The freakin’tollway was packed with 20 somethin’s with barbed wire tat’s and shit headedmoxy!  30 thousand dollar millionaire’srock!  Sitting on Patio’s in the blazingass sun rocks!  Working as a waiter for10 years rocks!



Kergie Out.


Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Welp, ya'll can blame Frenchy for this.....ENJOY!  Next time, don't be a d#ck Frenchy.


From like two years ago:



-Why don't you just let me take over this blog?  Hmmm? I'm like the overnight/weekend board operator already. 


-I've been real busy with work as of late(it's not easybeing a security guard at the dump), so, I was relegated to taking my kayak tothe pristine waters of clear, cool Lake Lewisville.  Pull in. Disengage my whole antiquated tie down system (a series of pullies, ropeand bungee cords...that has amazed and terrorized travelers from Maine toMexico.  Nothing better than going 80 andyour singing, and you look over and you see some older gent with coke bottleglasses that resembles Porky the Pig, and he is honking and pointing at the riggin', while Mabel is fast asleepdreaming of Paula Dean recipes).  Securethe MP3 player and lifevest (don't normally wear one, but, since it's death'slake-yup!).  I look over and this Mexicangentlemen is CHUGGING a 40 like he's on fire; pan to the right and some doucher20 somefin (he he) is talking up some ole 40+ lonely broad with his tat's,backward hat and Garland moxie.......I look to my left and I see that GLORIOUSlake, with her fine shimmering waters. Hop in.  Utilize the wooden oar tosalute my forefathers-and go.  I packedit up after 20 minutes of bee's, mosquitos and looking at what appeared to be"southoftheborderfest"-a weird amalgamation of drooping diapers, kidswading in neck deep water(without supervision, while the parents grilled anddrank), and a grassy lawn that looked a war laden Sarajevo in the90's....replete with fast food containers, beer cans and chicken bones.  Ahhhhh Memorial Day weekend in NorthTexas!  We should, maybe, ummm, salutethose folks that have fought and helped to keep this country free. 


-We should remember today what has been handed to us; thegift of a great nation that provides for all, without bias, that hasilluminated countless dreams.  A dreamthat holds forth a promise that every generation will prosper and fight forher, her will and testament being her people- and her vigorous ideals.


Good day.


Recipe:Coconut Pie Crust

8 inch Pie pan3 cups Coconut flakes3 tablespoon All Purpose flour½ teaspoon Salt6 tablespoon Butter, melted

Mix together coconut flakes and flour.  Add melted butter and mix well.Press into pie pan evenly.  With foil, cover pie rim and bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.  Remove foil and continue baking for 5 more minutes to brown the edge.


Coconut Cream Pie Filling (1 Pie)

½ qt Half & Half¼ cup Coconut milk½ cup Sugar½ teaspoon Salt2 tablespoons Rum6 ea Egg yolks1 teaspoon Gelatin (soaked in water)

Combine half & half, coconut milk, sugar, salt and rum.  Heat until it begins to lightly simmer.  Pour over egg yolks and temper (add egg yolks slowly while constantly stirring to avoid cooking eggs).  Continue cooking mixture until it coats back of spoon.Mix in gelatin and stir until dissolved.  Pour mixture into coconut shell.


Meringue Topping

5 ea Egg whites1 ¼ cups Sugar

In a glass or stainless steel bowl mix together egg whites and sugar.  Over double boiler heat mixture over light boil.  Constantly stir mixture until sugar is dissolved and mixture is hot to the touch.Either in a kitchen-aide or hand mixture whisk egg whites on high until glossy and stiff peaks occur.


Enough already with kergag's off topic bullshit. His spaceship needs to launch. With him on it!

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship any stories about Chicken Parmesan, or Ricotta and Maple Sausage in stuffed shells (with fresh basil, oregano and garlic)?  

What goes good with stuffed shells:-Cabernet-Spring Mix Salad w/walnuts, feta and pears-White wine sauce (a touch of lemon and sour cream)-OR a traditional wilted salad-Broccoli Florets w/fat free butter and fajita spice-HOT buttered buns or jalapeno corn bread-Shiner

Best places to eat stuffed shells:-upwind from the you don't get the wafting stench of turd and feet-Broken Bow OK/near the dam-Old Platt OK/below a waterfall-Gilmanton NH/on the dock-Raton NM/on the pass-Platuro Reservoir-Cape Cod National Seashore/Nauset Light-Mohave Dessert/Somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the dessert-Big Bend/in a campsite-Smoky Mountains/somewhere around Asheville, while fishing

What goes good with Parm:-everything!-good on sandwiches with swiss, onions and peppers-good on a wrap with bacon, ranch and jalapeno's-good on a salad-red sauce, white sauce, no sauce

ps-just make sure you pound it out with a coffee cup, and man o' man, don't deep fry it.  In fact, don't deep fry anything.  Deep frying and lard are nasty, and indicative of a dirty, lazy, obese culture.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

I Always condone recipes......but, people get mad when you post em.  Food blog?

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

This is just feeding my inner fury; keep it up and I'll post "best of".  I have, oh, probably 150 pages of old Sporto material I need to get out, so, just try me!  You sticky, long and narrow, brownish, peanut ridden and corn infested boiling colon bustin' turd.



You are one sick little asshole!

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

comment killer, why, cause you"cain't" come up with anything even remotely close to my sublime wit, and subtle charm?   poor baby.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Yep!  I could be an obtuse, irreverent #sshole (I don't condone swear words sir, or ma'am!)  like you-with nothing to say, and even less to think about.  AND YOU, with 48 cats, and collecting junk mail for 38 years-shame!

Kergie out!   

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