Scardello: Their Cheese Will Move You

Categories: Cheap Bastard

IMG_2824.jpg
Alice Laussade
Each week, the Cheap Bastard goes looking for a new place to eat a meal for less than nine million dollars. This week, she cuts the cheese at Scardello Artisan Cheese, 3511 Oak Lawn Ave., and we hope we mean that literally.

Level of fancy I felt eating prosciutto and fig at lunch: 6
Times I cheese-and-meat-fart crop-dusted the place on the way out: 1 (full)

Scardello is a little artisan cheese shop on Oak Lawn Avenue that looks fancy and expensive. That's probably good, since, as it turns out, it is fancy and also fucking expensive.

They have fancy-expensive cheese, fancy-expensive wine, fancy-expensive crackers -- they even have fancy-expensive pickles. (You ever had Rick's Picks pickles? Holy shits, those are good. They'll cost you eight firstborns, but they're so worth it.)

There's a goat-ton of highfalutin' expensive expensiveness going on in Scardello. (I saw people smelling cheeses. They smelled and then nodded knowingly. Like, "Awww yeah. That. Is cheese." Dear people: Please stop smelling food you haven't yet purchased. It's freaky.)

Hidden among the cheese sniffing and wine swirling is a counter with a small sandwich menu (printed in what must be smaller than negative 6-point type) which includes several sandwich-plus-side-salad options for $8.50. I read the description of their Sweet Italian sandwich: "Thinly sliced prosciutto, decadent burrata, and fig confit on a fresh baked baguette make for a sweet and savory combo you can't refuse." And they're not lying. I thought about trying to refuse the sweet and savory combo, and the sandwich looked at me like, "Bitch, you best not try to refuse this sweet and savory combo. I CANNOT BE REFUSED!!!" So, I ordered it.

Their "ploughman's lunch" looked interesting, too, but I'm pretty sure it's not what I know a ploughman's lunch to be. There's simply no way you can get one of those -- even on the street -- for "$5 plus cheese weight." You can't rent the plough for less than 100 bucks and how would they even know which parts of the donkey (or horse, lady's choice) were cheese weight anyway? But, I digress.

The Sweet Italian sandwich was delicious. Whichever food genius invented the prosciutto-plus-fig-plus-honey-plus-cheese flavor combo should get a million blowjays from angels. Also, said inventor should've patented that shit, because I'm about to steal it. Expect prosciutto-plus-fig-plus-honey-plus-cheese flavored Doritos this Christmas, bitches. Happy Figging Holidays!

If you're in the mood for a sandwich, Scardello serves up a great one. They also served me tap water in a this-glass-clearly-wants-whiskey-in-it rocks glass, which was cool and painful at the same time. Not sure ordering "for here" and sitting amongst a bunch of cheese smellers was the best move for me. Maybe order yours to-go. Unless, ya know, cheese smelling is your bag.

Follow City of Ate on Twitter. Follow me at @thecheapbastard.

Location Info

Scardello Artisan Cheese

3511 Oak Lawn Ave., Dallas, TX

Category: Restaurant


Advertisement

My Voice Nation Help
17 comments
UrbanEpicurious
UrbanEpicurious

Alice --

I tried this taudry, delicious sandwich and you are right, it truly was amazing! 

Then on Sat I went to Il Cane Rosso to further explore the new brunch menu when I was even more blown away by the Breakfast Panini (Aahhhhhhh the sky just opened up and angels are raining down from above singing the blowjay song at the mere mention of it)!!!!  It was made with oven fresh delicious bread with arugula, grape tomatoes, cheese, proscuitto, and eggs and I believe there was some sort of condiment/sauce, I don't know. But it was equally amazing (for different reasons) and it made me think of you.  You MUST eat it.

It made me wonder what that crap is I've been eating that I called food before I ate the Breakfast Panini.  Jay Jerrier is one BRILLIANT man... I think I love him. =)

Bev

Jon Daniel
Jon Daniel

Even the hipster dreamboat would like this

Kergo 1 Sapceship
Kergo 1 Sapceship

Oh yeah, honorary irritating voices on commercials:

-Avery AC guy.-Nick Namis -Brad Thomas Acne Brick-Henry Lewis (meet you at 4 in the morning guy)

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Oh Alice, let me count the ways I love thee...we'll start with the cropdusting reference and then move on to the blojays from angels.  You, my friend, have a way with words.   

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Look, I don't have a lot of time....I've got to get to work.  I few observation I made in the wee hours of the morning.  I wish I had more time to expound; but, time is the GREAT director.  

-Central Market guy is a f%cking beating; if that guy were my neighbor, and talked like that-I'd whip his ass.  I detect a "left handed hitter".  You smug bastard!  The ONLY thing worse is "Greensheet Teenager"...I think his name is Danny.    

-I had the "backsweats" last night, like that time I ate at Rudy's on the Guadalupe.  This malady is put in place by eating nasty BBQ (which I made, in a hurry!) very fast.  It is also referred to as "shelf #ss", because said meal just sits "on the shelf" and rots in your stomach.  It doesn't know weather to go up, or go down!  

Kergie out!

Alice Laussade
Alice Laussade

Benedict. Get that benedict and I'll get this panini you speak of. 

As far as loving Jay goes, you can take him. I'll bone the Cane Rosso oven. That oven does all the work and gets no cred.

Mary
Mary

you need fucking therapy.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

I hope that the Greensheet teenager gets his car, post haste..and said car has bad brakes and he ends up in taking a long drive off a short pier.

Totally agree on Central Market guy..those beera spots were a bigger beating than the ding dang Holidays ones..10 drummers drumming ..ahhhhh

The wifey made some perty good country ribs last night...with some bbq sauce the inlaws brought back from Savannah..not bad for indoor cooking.

Kergo 1 Sapceship
Kergo 1 Sapceship

Oh guys, look, it 's Mary AGAIN.........ok, we all need therapy-and are Looney Tunes. OK.  Uhhhmmm, the cat, lint and knitting blog is two doors down.  Ahhhhhhh, get some sun, and maybe meet a fellow human?  

Kergo 1 Sapceship
Kergo 1 Sapceship

You had me at ribs....St Louis Style Pork Ribs?  I'm headin' to Dickey's now!

Storm_71
Storm_71

Where's our new Sportatorium have I missed something? I refuse to read that douchy trash Richie Shitt is "writing". I did a couple of times and it makes me want to punch him in the larynx.

Jon Daniel
Jon Daniel

Shit -I have to turn the RSS feed back on for Sportatorium

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Yessir on the ribs.

Stop by the newly remodeled Sportatorium later...Big Bob has been asked to put together an Ender..he said he may get Good Ol Merten to do it.  Bob has put up a few articles this week.

Mary
Mary

You deserve Dickey's you fucking fruitcake.

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Loading...