Hey Thanksgiving, Let's Make Out.

Categories: Chewing the Fat

MULTIPLE DESSERTS.
many_pies.jpg
photo by foodbitch
Desserts as seen at Worksgiving 2011

I love that one dessert doesn't even BEGIN to cut it during Thanksgiving week(s). Pecan pie, chocolate pecan pie, pumpkin pie, pumpkin cheesecake, apple pie, cherry pie, oatmeal cream pie, fudge, cookies, brownies, blondies, chess pie, buttermilk pie, chocolate mousse and that's just the first dessert course. You must top it all off with whipped cream, Cool Whip, Redi Whip, ice cream and/or all of the above. I also love that you can eat pie for breakfast (Or is that just me? Yes? Why aren't y'all eating pie for breakfast?!)

THANKSGIVING-THEMED SHIT.

martha_turkey_baby.jpg
marthastewart.com
That turkey-baby looks terrified!

I also love the things that are associated with Thanksgiving, including but not limited to stretchy pants, gourds, feathers, the color orange, leaves changing colors, scarves, skinny women eating their weight in carbs, and especially dogs, cats and babies dressed up as turkeys.


POTLUCKEDNESS.

wine_anyone2.jpg
photo by foodbitch
Yeah, that'll do just fine.

I love the potluck aspect of Thanksgiving. I love that there are pots and there is a great deal of luck. I love that everybody, and I mean everybody, can make something amazing. You can't bake? That's cool, roast some veggies. You only have a can opener and a microwave? That's cool; create a candied yam situation. You want to buy a pie at the grocery store? [record scratch] Nope. Make something. Anything. With your own (well-washed) hands. This is Thanksgiving, people. If you absolutely must buy something because any amount of cooking will cause you to burn your house down, buy wine, beer or liquor and bring that. Because who am I to scold you for helping me get Turkey Day tipsy?


BOO HATERS!

hater_handy.jpg
Talk to the handy, haters.

But I fucking HATE when people talk shit about Thanksgiving. They clearly haven't tasted truly good Thanksgiving food! Or maybe they're British jealous. Or worse, they hate butter. Maybe they dislike their families, but that's why things like Worksgiving and Friendsgiving exist. The point is, this holiday is about FOOD, and that's something everyone can get behind. So get on board, break the rules, make what's good and eat it all.

Thank you,

foodbitch

Follow foodbitch and City of Ate on Twitter.


My Voice Nation Help
18 comments
ObserverFan
ObserverFan

Yes I think I gained the first 3 lbs of the 10 I'll gain by New Years. Love this!

cp
cp

Why can't Alice have all the space that foodbitch takes up? 

Harvey
Harvey

Why is it every fat house frau feels the need to be Alice Lassaude? Alice isn't good at being Sarah Silverman, what makes you think you can be good at being Alice? Prediction, you are all short, fat and married to shorter and fatter.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Welp, I reckon if there's two things I likey..one is a Fowl (see what I did there) mouth broad and two would be Turkey Day. 

Who knew these gals could rock this hard?  We need more Thanksgivings, it brings out the best/worst in our female food writers.  (Scott is more like mainlining Trytophan)

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

Bravo FB. Two great posts in two days by two women on the City of Ate. Such dirty little mouths. You kiss your turkey with those mouths? Huh? Do ya? Can I watch?

Will
Will

Friendsgiving it is this year - not flying home, and I'm all about cooking everything and making my friends fat. This is the best holiday. Full stop. Great article, foodbitch! Couldn't have said it better myself.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

I dunno even what to say? I'm just without words......this blog entry makes me want to start drinking now (at 10;52 AM). 

5 Things to do w/Leftover Turkey:-feed to dog-sammiches-turkey soup-freeze, and feed nana on Easter-add into antipasto salad-make turkey King Ranch Casserole next week

Welp, gotta go make stuffed shells w/fresh basil, ricotta, and chopped tenderloin.

I suggest:-a white wine sauce-fresh grated parm-roma tomato and cucumber salad w/thin slivers of swiss and raspberry vinaigrette

cp
cp

And using the word "fucking 18 times in one post is proof of that, you know, trying to be something they're not.

I predict this stupid fucking ironic foodbitch fad will come to an end soon enough. 

cp
cp

Hm, who'd have ever guessed that you sporto jocks would be such big fans of foodbitch? 

Storm_71
Storm_71

I would pay to see the Food Bitch and Alice wrestle in a plastic swimming pool filled with giblet gravy (Thanksgiving tie in).

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Turkey KRC huh? Methinks Mrs. Broken Groin is going to be made aware of that Brutha!

Greg Pinn
Greg Pinn

Please don't feed the dog leftover turkey. It's very fattening for them.  No more than a couple of pieces and NO BONES!

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Last night I fed him a pound of venison fajita's that were taking up freezer space for 2 years.....is this bad? 

Storm_71
Storm_71

Big Bob has a new post up on the Sportatorium brother and he gives you a big shout out.

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