Company Café: What It Lacks in Gluten, It Makes Up for With Bacon

Categories: Cheap Bastard

cheap company.jpg
Alice Laussade
Each week, the Cheap Bastard goes looking for a new place to eat a meal for less than nine million dollars. This week, she goes gluten-free at Company Café, 2217 Greenville Ave.

Spice rack wall art count: 1
Stroller count: 451

Company Café on Greenville Avenue is for high-maintenance yuppies. If you have a gluten allergy or a preference for grass-fed beef or a love of organic goat cheese and a primal need to pay $15 for a salad, they have an entrée with your yuppie-ass name on it (Hayley or Bradford or Sadie or whatever). You want a Diet Coke? "Sorry. We don't have that. How about a nice iced tea or a Mexican Coca-Cola made with pure cane sugar?" Oooh! Sounds great! Can you also punch me in the eyehole for coming here?

If you're eating gluten-free, dining at restaurants is a butt pain. So, Company Café is really smart to offer a load of gluten-free options. Not sure when we all became so anti-gluten (guessing it was probably the day Michael Jackson died), but I do know that life sucks if you have to be gluten-free. Pretty sure I'd shiv my doctor in his man shaft if he told me I had to give up gluten.

Instead of ordering the gluten-free chicken-fried steak (I'm staunchly full-gluten when it comes to chicken-fried steaks), I ordered the loaded sweet potato fries. They come topped with bacon, green onions, fresh jalapeños, cheddar, applewood-smoked bacon and bacon. (I'm not sure if you heard, but THERE'S BACON.) Plus, they were one of the few things on the menu that you could get for $9. Almost everything else on the lunch menu was priced above $10. "Hey, stupid! You can't read! You could've ordered a half salad with chicken added for just eight bucks!" Yep. Other things on the list of Shit I'm Not Gonna Do: punch self in boob; hug that semi-homemade Sandra Lee lady; the cabbage patch; stop saying "That's what she said," when my mom talks about eating sausage; empathize; Sudoku; start liking Meg Ryan's new face.

When the server brought me my giant potato pile, he said, "Uh -- this is just the half order." This big-as-a-Beyoncé-ass, KFC-bowl-lookin' thing is just a half order? Sweet. That means it's cheaper, right? "Uh ... I think, yeah." Indeed, yeah. I demolished those fries (which were melted-cheese-and-crunchy-bacon-fucking amazing, by the way) and when the check came out, those delicious yuppie fries only cost me $6. Shit, if I had known they were going to be that cheap, I would've added an extra side of gluten.

Follow City of Ate on Twitter. Follow me at @thecheapbastard.

Location Info

Company Cafe

2104 Greenville Ave., Dallas, TX

Category: Restaurant


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7 comments
ObserverFan
ObserverFan

Bravo! I also refuse to quit saying TWSS "that's what she said" at any mention of eating meat, sausage, beef and pork.

EvilShenanigans
EvilShenanigans

Love the Sandra Lee reference.  That made this whole review for me.

JJ
JJ

I miss people who's writing is strong enough they don't have to use tired curse words to try and make something funny so it's interesting. Take out all the cussing and it's the worst piece of writing. Maybe ever. Fucking ever!!

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

First off....that pic looks great; seems like you all have been making an effort to make the pics look appealing-salute'!. Bacon makes everything right.  Also, Gluten/Wheat allergies can really be a bear-other than the obvious options, Market Street at Watters Creek has a nice Gluten Free section in the frozen isle (against the wall).  I recommend the rice tortilla's (Food for Life),  apple cookies and gluten free rolls-not BAD!  Also, be wary of premade sauces, soups, etc...alot of companies add gluten as a filler.Kergie out.

Brah Clee
Brah Clee

haha, good stuff here. the place needs a lot of help in direction, offerings and price points. i dont mind spending $12 on a lunch or brunch or $16 on a dinner but it better be worth it (taste-wise). many things there aren't.

Joy Joy Joy
Joy Joy Joy

Seriously, dude?  Oh, I know what it is.  You're a fedora-wearing hipster who hangs out on McKinney wearing skinny jeans.  That explains it all.  This chick is the Tucker Max of Dallas cuisine.  She is the banana to my split.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

fucking-a man, why are you pissing in her cheerios?   I thought this was best written blog of the week...snark, smarm, cussing, making fun of a handicap (yes, the obese fucks of the world have now made food related allergies/illness a  handicap) ....this was the shit.   Now time for me to go knock out a game of golden tee and a few brew.  Keep up the good work Laussade

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