100 Holidays Ranked By Deliciousness

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Thanksgiving's cool, but Day After Thanksgiving is the fucking best thing ever.
Known: Thanksgiving is one of the best food holidays ever. So, where do the other 99 holidays we could think of rank? We're so glad you asked.

1. Day After Thanksgiving: All the food, none of the family. Plus you get Leftovers Sandwiches. Choose to deny that this is the best food holiday of all food holidays and you're just lying to yourself.

2. Thanksgiving

3. Chinese New Year

4. Rosh Hoshana

5. National Eat An Entire Pie Day

6. Christmas Day

7. National Fried Egg on Everything Day: Tradition: Add a fried egg to everything you eat and also fried-egg bomb everyone else's food and drink. Fun things to fried-egg bomb: cereal, fountain Cokes, bananas.

8. Fat Tuesday

9. Hanukkah

10. Beastie Boys Day: Tradition: Drink Brass Monkey, put dick in mashed potatoes

11. Super Bowl Sunday

12. 4/20

13. Independence Day

14. Cinco de Mayo (AKA Drinko de Mayo)

15. Christmas Eve

16. Day After Christmas

17. Your birthday

18. National Figs Are Fucking Awesome And You Know It Day

19. All Churros Eve

20. Day you quit P90X

21. Thai-To-Go Delivery Day

22. Thanksgiving Monday

23. National BBQ Binge Day: Tradition: Eat enough brisket to kill a horse. Get meat sweats. Then, watch Daniel Vaughn point and laugh at you and probably call you a pussy.

24. Bacon Halloween

25. Halloween

26. Sandra Lee Day: Tradition: Get hammered and pretend you made these Doritos from scratch.

27. Angry Food Binge Because Your Football Team Lost Day

28. Valentine's Day

29. National The 5-Second Rule Is Extended To The 5-Minute Rule Day

30. That Friend's Birthday Party That Happens To Be At Your Favorite Restaurant And The Friend Pays Day

31. National Fried Turducken Day

32. St. Patrick's Day

33. Juice Fast Eve

34. Constantine Maroulis Day: Tradition: Eat a gyro whilst squintily singing karaoke

35. National Eat The Entire Cheese and Fruit Tray Day

36. New Year's Eve

37. Vernal Equinox

38. Vernal Equinox Eve

39. Memorial Day

40. Labor Day

41. Prince Harry Day: Tradition: Eat scones, but pronounce them "skons;" Call your "sweater" a "jumper;" Be all British 'n shit.

42. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

43. April Fools' Day

44. National Fried Bacon Pancake Day

45. International Respect For Chickens Day : Tradition: Eat a shit ton of chickens to show our respect for them.

46. Unbirthday

47. National Cream-Filled Donut Day

48. Ron Jeremy Day: Tradition: Binge on Ding Dongs

49. National Chug A Margarita At Work Day

50. National Finish Someone Else's Hamburger Day

51. R. Kelly Day: Tradition: Walk up in club; Pop bottles of Cris; Ask someone to give you "that toot toot" and "that beep beep;" Make out with your cousin.

52. National Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Competition For Amateur Competitive Eaters Who Like To Eat While The Legit Competitors Eat Day

53. National Day After You Get A Physical Day

54. National Steal Someone Else's Lunch From The Work Fridge Day (Note: Some also celebrate this holiday on 4/20.)

55. Senior Skip Day

56. Freaky Friday

57. National Hide The Salami But Seriously, Where's The Fucking Salami I'm Going To Punch The Asshole Who Hid It That Was Fancy Fucking Salami Day

58. Oscar Night

59. Martha Stewart Day: Tradition: Make the best fucking meal ever with the best flower arrangements and the best table setting ever. (Do not fuck this part up.) Then, go to jail.

60. Father's Day

61. Opposite Day

62. National "How Bad Can Expired Chef Boyardee Really Be?" Day

63. Summer's Eve

64. Guy Fieri Day: Tradition: Kangol hat + fire shirt + neck sunglasses + these taquitos

65. Lincoln's Bday

66. Canada Day

67. Good Friday

68. Bring Your Kid To Work Day

69. Rachael Ray Day: Tradition: See how many times you can say, "E.V.O.O.," "Nutrish," "Yummo," and "How good is that?" before someone gives you the traditional junk punch.

70. Cyber Monday

71. National Rub Your Balls On Some Pretzels and Gift Them To Your Boss (AKA Boss's Day.)

72. Crazy Socks Day

73. National Cheese Balls and Pop Rocks Day

74. Kate Moss Day: See: Charlie Sheen Day. Tradition: Eat nothing but cocaine.

75. Groundhog Day

76. National Seitan Is Seriously So Gross, Y'all Day

77. First day of Passover

78. World Vegetarian Day

79. Justin Bieber Day: Tradition: Basically spend the whole day taking paternity tests and chugging wine coolers while you wonder how you're so good at singing like a Chipmunk, yet so sucky at writing songs.

80. Friday the 13th

81. National Fruitcake Day

82. Significant Other Drags You To Hang Out With People You Secretly Hate Day (Note: For some, this holiday is observed on Thanksgiving or Mother's Day.)

83. Mother's Day

84. Administrative Assistant's Day

85. New Year's Day: Black-eyed peas (food and/or band. + hangover = So not cool.)

86. Yom Kippur

87. National Fruit Bouquet Day

88. Pap Smear Day (Known in England as Ye Olde Medical Fanny Hand Jab Day)

89. Presidents Day

90. National Garlic and Onions Only Day

91. Columbus Day/ Veterans Day/ Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day (Three-way tie for almost worstest food holidays.)

92. National Expired Bologna Day

93. Arbor Day

94. National Freezer-Burned Food Day

95. Earth Day

96. National Doctors' Day

97. Flag Day

98. National Oatmeal Cookies Are Super Nasty And Shouldn't Count As Cookies Awareness Day

99. National Anything's Better Than Shrimp Scampi Day Day

100. National Shrimp Scampi Day

Follow City of Ate on Twitter. Follow me at @thecheapbastard.

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24 comments
Peter Mason
Peter Mason

Justin Bieber day?? Priceless!  I might even do it!

Ed D.
Ed D.

A world where National Fried Bacon Pancake Day is only #44 on a list of eating holidays is not a world in which I care to live. (But there's no doubt that Day After Thanksgiving is #1.)

TLS
TLS

I guess Festivus and Juneteenth don't have a place in your world, Alice. 

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

Btw Alice, after reading the full list, Im am one hundred percent behind you, in everything you do!  whatever that means, I can picture it though

MattL1
MattL1

Was Beastie Boys Day last Wednesday, perchance?  I only ask because, um, someone I know may have unknowingly celebrated it several times over.

kergo 1
kergo 1

Get a load of those ladies from the Margarita Ball on the right of the page.  Methinks if one attended such event, earplugs and maybe duct tape MAY be necessary.  The duct tape would be to double insulate my ears from ciggy cackle!

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Is this Richie Whitt?  Where is leftover brisket sandwich day?  A little homemade dab of the firey red; with onions, pickles and jalapeno's.  What about chix parm day?  Slice it up; slap on some swiss......toast the fresh hoagie bun.  Maybe put it in the brolier for 3 minutes.  Add garlic and Tabasco?

ObserverFan
ObserverFan

For Boss's Day this year, a coworker and I gave our boss leftover cupcakes someone had brought in from a baby shower.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

I thought that for Boss' day you are supposed to dick a few doughnuts and then pass them out to your team.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

I'm interested in the fried bacon pancake day meself..on what date is that observed? And I'm right there with ya on #1! We actually celebrate it by frying a turkey and drinking alot..and eating leftovers through the weekend.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

88. Pap Smear Day (Known in England as Ye Olde Medical Fanny Hand Jab Day.Do you know why they call pap smears pap smears?

Cuase if they called them c**t scrapes, women wouldnt go

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

it was HER top 100 and obviously those 2 didnt make it in the top 100, but I bet they are in her top 365.  So, lets see your top 100!

kergo 1
kergo 1

No, last Wednesday was "redneck Wednesday", where all the redders, and trailer trash listen to that crappy midget Kenny Chesney.  And feast on hot dogs, cigs, cheap beara and chips.  Makes me want to go muddin' boys!  Yee haw.

Alice Laussade
Alice Laussade

If you're not including a leftover brisket sandwich on BBQ Binge Day, Super Bowl Sunday and Independence Day, I'm not sure who you are.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Dear JBG,    The drinkin' starts today....the cookin' starts tonight.  Monday Night Football!  My beloved Patriots!  Brats.  Brisket.  I'm making a BBQ sauce from scratch right now.  I'm goin' to Walmart soon to get the following:

-brisket-english muffins for pizza-stuffed shells -Jimmy Dean maple sausage for stuffed shells-beara

ps- I hope that lady with the bloody gauze over her eye isn't workin, cause I'm "houngry!"I hope that guy with the pencil thin mustache is working in the gun section.  It's always really fun to sit behind the archery targets and make "beeping" noises until he acknowledges me. AND so many hots chicks that frequent said locale.  Ahh, chicks with facial hair, Looney Tunes t shirts, and my fave-facial piercings and TAT's on a 500 pounder!  Hey guys, it's swamp elephant day at the Mart.

TLS
TLS

Are you really angry about my post?  Do you think I was actually criticizing her list?

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Drinking never stops Kergs..the gift that keeps on giving.  Mrs. Broken Groin prepared some delicious CFB (Bambi!) yesterday evening...and I didn't even have to hunt the vicious animal down.  Friend o mine was kind enough to give me a backstrap and the Missus was kind enough to cut it up, de-silver skin it..put it in some carnation milk for 12 hours (de-gamies it, don't ya know) and throw it in a little flour..and then in a hot pan.  I'm still in heaven, and it's what's for Din-Din tonight too. 

 

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

fixed the sir.  Glad you enjoyed monday morning vagina joke.  Ill see what I can come up with for tuesday

TLS
TLS

Ok then.  You do assholish well.

I was going to take back my "like" of your pap smear post but it will stay.  And as I'm not a "sir" I appreciate a good pap smear joke.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

I dont get angry sir (edit Ma'am), I enjoy your postings, I just wanted to be abrasive and assholish since I hadnt yet today

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