Introducing The Starbucks Singing Barista Dude

Categories: Roasted

singing barista.jpg
Alice Laussade
Singing Barista Dude: The chipperest mother fucker ever.
​You find yourself in the drive-through line at the Starbucks. You're not necessarily proud of choosing Starbucks over White Rock Coffee or Pearl Cup, but it's early, they're convenient and you're an un-coffee-ed bitch who needs a fix right now dammit stop judging.

You yell your coffee order at the intercom. You drive around the corner to the coffee window and that's when you see it: the car in front of you is rocking side to side, it's jamming out so hard to Jackson 5's One More Chance. The guy in the car is full-on scream singing. And then you see the barista is scream singing, too. He's handing the coffee over, "Woon't yoooou please let meeeeeee backinyourheart!"

They're so. Happy.

What in the fuck is going on here?

The barista at this Starbucks, on Northwest Highway just east of 75, isn't just any cool-ass-armband-wearing barista: he's the Singing Barista. And you know this because Singing Barista Dude wears an embroidered apron that says "The Singing Barista." He sings as he takes your order, sings as he gives you your coffee, sings as you leave.

How has this guy not been shot? He sings to people pre-coffee. "Grande brew, we made it just for you!" So much happy. It's beyond too much.

He's full-on chipper at fucking 7 in the before noontime. You want to hate it, but most days you just have to be proud of him for making his job interesting for himself. Grande cheers to you, Singing Barista Dude. You're crazy amazing.

Follow City of Ate on Facebook and Twitter. Follow me at @thecheapbastard.


Advertisement

My Voice Nation Help
18 comments
Sunmoon1129
Sunmoon1129

This is one of the greatest people I have the pleasure of knowing personally!  His joie de vivre is infectious!  So glad you did a piece on him!  :-)  hehehe chipperest mother fucker indeed!

TT1GG
TT1GG

i'm always amazed by that Starbucks - of all the Starbucks, you would expect this one to be the least likely to have people sitting out front because the area just feels like an armpit. and yet it nearly always has people sitting out front. as if the sight of traffic whizzing by on NW Hwy is scenic

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

look jackwads, Im in a 9 hr work/training session on PeopleSoft upgrades.  Trying to sneak in some surfing and commenting, sorry for the mistakes in spellings

Davy Crockett
Davy Crockett

He'd have that coffee thrown back at him if it were me.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

just tried a freebirds burrito for the first time and that thing was a piece of shit.  Glad it was free, I feel like I ate a turd, and Im sure it going to turn my stomache inside out and ill be dropping a friggen bar dump during the rangers game tonight

Brent D.
Brent D.

ScottsM...menu>settings>messaging>spelling help>on

You're welcome.

And how do you know how a turd tastes? Discuss.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

I really think that description is funny....me likey!  ALOT.  The kinda dumpage you gotta pull off at a reststop, and go outback.  Just avoid the terlit altogether.  Frickin' looks like a murder scene, with gauze and baby wipies, and animals foraging for lunch.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

Go get a latte from the singing barista and speed up the process.  Don't wanna miss any of the game...

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

Freebirds is so hit and miss with me. Sometimes it's good, more times it's what you describe.

Alice Laussade
Alice Laussade

Does your stomach have a mustache? I hope. I wish I had a stomache.

G_David
G_David

If you know what something smells like, you pretty much know what it tastes like.  Are you saying you've never smelled a turd?

Alice Laussade
Alice Laussade

Don't they let you pick your ingredients, though? Is this about bad ingredients to start with or y'all just being bad burrito artists?

Discuss.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

thanks, glad to see our writers correcting the commenters instead of vice-versa, like most times

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

Yeah they do let you pick your ingredients, but sometimes the salsa is off, and the meat is off, I guess is the best way to put it. I don't know if it's a cooking thing or keeping the food the right temp. Fresh ingredients? I can't put my finger on it, I'd have to try it again.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

Or did it offend your tast buds in your mouthe?

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

So, you are saying that the salse offended your stomache?

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

I picked the ingredients but the rice was bland the meat was dry and they put to much bean juice, not enough beans, and the burrito tasted stale. Also the salsa was bland, pretty much I could have put some purina puppy chow on burnt toast and it would have tasted better

Alice Laussade
Alice Laussade

Oh. Bummer. I was sincerely hoping you had a stomache.

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Loading...