Playboy Plans Out Your Evening In Dallas (But Gets It All Wrong)

Categories: Complaint Desk

Playboy cover.jpg
Everyone loves a good excuse to visit Playboy's website while at work. This one is even legitimate. The magazine recently published a Never Sleep: Dallas guide prescribing the perfect Saturday night. In the name of work, I thought I'd take the guide apart one recommendation at a time to see how Playboy did.

When you're done checking out the guide make sure to close your browser. You're at work, after all. Ignore those banners, too. Oh, and clean out your cookies while you're at it.

To the picks!

5:45 p.m.: Ring in happy hour on a patio Cedars Social
Cedars Social is a recent addition to Dallas' nightlife and a darling of the cocktail community. On my single visit I found the cocktails uneven and the service lethargic. I'd have hated the place if the decor wasn't so cool. Happy hour though? I think this is better suited for drinks later in the evening.

8 p.m.: Nick and Sam's for a "beautifully charred 10-ounce filet"
Wait, what? Filet? You need a skirt to go with that steak, Playboy? I thought this was a magazine for men. I'll take the rib-eye, or perhaps a New York strip. But everyone knows that filets are steaks for people who don't like steak.

10:30 p.m.: Marquee Grill serves an outstanding old-school manhattan. Slip one in before you hit...
Hit what? You, for ordering a filet? I'll take that Manhattan but I like mine with a capital M. Actually keep your sissy drink with its sissy cherry. Make mine a Sazerac.

11:30 P.M.: Teddy's Room... members of Bravo's Most Eligible Dallas have been known to manufacture their drama here.
Which is exactly why you shouldn't go there.

1:45 A.M.: Snookie's Bar & Grill for chicken friend steak with gravy and bottomless iced tea
It's obvious there's a reality television obsession going on here. I can't argue with a restaurant that boasts chicken-fried steak served till 2 a.m. but you can keep your iced tea. Snookie's boasts a full bar. Who drinks iced tea after two hours of trying to make conservation with these people?

3:15 a.m.: Jaguars, a nudie joint where dancers slip their duds back on after hours

Huh? I like my nudity naked. Besides, you had me start drinking at 5:45, and by now I'm completely hammered. I'm going to bed.


Location Info

Venue

Map

The Cedars Social

1326 S. Lamar, Dallas, TX

Category: Restaurant

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Nick & Sam's

3008 Maple Ave., Dallas, TX

Category: Restaurant

Teddy's Room

2404 Cedar Springs Road, Dallas, TX

Category: General

Snookie's Bar & Grill

2755 S. Hulen St., Fort Worth, TX

Category: Music

Jaguars Gold Club

2151 Manana, Dallas, TX

Category: Music

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3 comments
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primi timpano
primi timpano

You forgot to review the pictures, as if anyone reads the articles or cares.

Steve
Steve

Every self-proclaimed steak expert shits on the filet and would rather fistfight a ribeye.

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

You're right, this guide is ridiculous. Oh, and, don't order a chicken fried steak 15 minutes before an establishment is about to close. That might fly in LA, but here in Texxxxxxas, you'll get extra toppings with that.

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