McDonald's TV is Here. So, Five Local Programming Ideas.

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McDonald's new phase of mind control and world domination is upon us: McTV is here. [ACTIVATE MIND CONTROL]

McDonald's is launching the "McDonald's Channel," according to the LA Times, The "digital network of exclusive original content targeted at dine-in customers" is called McTV, and it will include "local news and entertainment features." And, we're guessing, an occasional Big Mac ad, played while you're eating a Big Mac.

The invasion will no doubt spread to Texas (Phase 1 will begin at 800 stores in California). Once it does, we'd like to pitch some programming ideas that have a Texas-twist:

Troy Aikman's Angus Deluxe Toss
Twenty soothing minutes of Troy Aikman throwing a 1/3-pound, 100 percent Angus beef patty on premium bakery-style bun through a tire at Cowboys Stadium. In slow motion, of course.

Daily Weather With Chicken McNuggets
A tender, juicy Chicken McNugget delivers the five-day forecast using McDonald's various dipping sauces to indicate the severity in upcoming storms -- from Pure Honey (light showers) to Spicy Buffalo (severe t-storms).

Rick Perry Eats a McRib
Again and again for 22 minutes (accounting for McRib ads).

Most Eligible Ranch Snack Wrap
A reality show, based in Uptown, following the romantic adventures of Ranch Snack Wrap (crispy) as it tries to find the perfect mate.

Top Chef: McGriddles
The current season of Top Chef contestants compete over-and-over (show will loop every 5 minutes) in a quick-fire to make the best, gourmet McGriddle concoctions.


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15 comments
Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Will all their programming include a well-dressed but hip urban educated black person just like the commercials?

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Funny, but true. Is it sending the wrong symbol to that demographic?  

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

I've always chalked it up to pandering.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

And BIG pandering is the worst kind of business marketing....like killin' ducks on a pond. Heck, they (MD's) were nearly dead a couple of years ago, and they found a way to exploit.  It's the great American way!  Ethics? I wish I were ruthless; I'd be a good rich guy.

Kergie out......hiking at Texoma w/the three year old. 

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

How bout Richie Whitt as one of those gremlin things.  And Nap as the Hamburgler.  

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Nap is gonna hamburglar us a World effing Series! How's them Sawx doing Kergs, fired the manager..traded the GM..Pitchermen eat chicken, drink beera and play dem vidja games during a game..wowza?  Y'all have Salty, we have Nap Nap Winner...I'll take Nap! POW!

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Pow accepted!  It's a bad soap opera. Thinkin' about goin' to game five.  Out.

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

I'm guessing "Super Size Me" won't make the lineup.

Daniel Hopkins
Daniel Hopkins

I'd like to see a judge show in which the Hamburgler is always the defendant.

Nick R.
Nick R.

"All rise, the honorable Judge Filet-O-Fish"

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