Five Halloween Candies to Hand Out if You Hate Kids
Monday night is Halloween. Which means it's time to start thinking about what you'll be handing out to the little ones this year. If you're awesome, we know you'll be the house with the king-size Snickers bars and the werewolf droppings.
Alice Laussade Nana is kinda chalky.
But if you hate kids and you're also the worst at life, here's a list of five candies (besides the obvious worst: candy corn) we're pretty sure you'll be giving out:
1. Giant Shitty Candy
You'd think that any candy in a giant form would be better, but you'd be so awfully, horribly wrong about that.
2. Circus Peanuts
3. Those Grody, Waxy Pumpkin Things
4. Pumpkin Peeps
5. Those green peppermints and hard candies only the worst restaurants give out