Restaurant Websites That Make You NOT Want To Eat

Categories: Complaint Desk

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​You've seen this guy, right? Peanut butter jelly time is the number one indicator of poor website design. Sparkling mouse trailers, glimmering lights, dancing bananas -- these are the hallmarks of your 13-year-old daughter's MySpace page. Poorly chosen music played in a loop, excessive flash and clunky navigation also indicate websites that may have been developed by a novice instead of a seasoned designer. This becomes especially annoying when looking at restaurant web pages, a time when you're actually trying to get information from the Internet instead of checking out Suzie's favorite Popsicle flavor.

Any restaurant contemplating a new website or thinking about making changes to an existing website ought to check out Warren Buffet's website. The official website of Berkshire Hathaway is a simple design, coded in plain old html. An address is listed at the top center of the page. Links to reports, meeting notices, SEC filings and a message from Buffet follow. A small and unobtrusive GEICO ad frames the bottom. And you're done.

When I visit a restaurant website, I want to know four things. Hours of operation, location, a basic understanding of the menu and whether your brunch comes with bottomless Bloody Marys. Everything else is just a distraction from the information I need if I'm going to visit a restaurant. Here are three websites who really punch it in the nuts.

WARNING: Opening all three links at the same time may cause bleeding from the ears.


Mary's Southern Cuisine and Entertainment

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​ This site starts off well enough.The address is in the lower left corner and will link you to a mapping service. The menu only takes one click to get to, and the hours are posted as well. The white text on black background is a little JV, but it's the music that really gets me. The modern jazz tracks may have been lifted from a '80s porn movie. Now you're picturing the hedgehog when you should be thinking fried chicken.


Blue Fish Sushi

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​ The Blue Fish website is noisy at first. The website lists six locations all over Texas with big colorful bubbles. If I'm looking for sushi in Dallas, I don't care about a location in Houston. Clicking on a location takes you off the Blue Fish server and into the Internet (Google, Bing and Mapquest), a resource the restaurant doesn't control. The house music speaks for itself.


Nandina

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​ It takes multiple clicks to find any information beyond happy hour and the musical back drop is a super untzy trance. What does this tell us about Nandina? That it's a great place to hang out with Swedish douche bags who like their sushi on the cheap.

Follow City of Ate on Facebook & Twitter. Follow me at @scottreitz

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