Jack Daniel's Whiskey: "It's My Party and I'll Break the Record If I Want To."

Categories: Whimsy

OldNo7.jpg
JackDaniels.com
Seven reasons to break a record.
Today the folks from the Jack Daniels Distillery are celebrating Jack's 161st birthday by attempting to break seven Guinness World Records -- a tribute to Old No. 7.

The official birthday bash is in New York City, but the festivities will involve die-hard fans from around the world, even you possibly. Below are the records being attempted:

1. Most Contributions to a Greeting Card
You can be a part of this record by visiting Jack's Facebook Page and posting a greeting to deal old Jack. An attendee at the event will then transcribe your prose on the actual card for you.

2. Largest Two-Dimensional Glass Bottle Mosaic
Mosaic artist Herb Williams will use 2,016 Jack Daniel's bottles to create a portrait of the man himself.

3. Largest Bottle of Whiskey
One hundred eighty liters of Tennessee Whiskey. Should we even ask what will happen to all that whiskey?

4. Largest Gathering of People Born in the Same Month
Jack's original birth certificate was supposedly lost in a fire. So, to cover all their bases, family and friends just celebrate the entire month of September. If you're in the NYC area today and can prove you were born in September, I'm sure they'd love to have you.

5. Most Bottles Played by a Bottle Orchestra
All together, deep breath and ... The entire tune has to be played and right now they have 470 bottles lined up. Naturally, they'll rock "Happy Birthday."

6. Most People to Blow out Candles Simultaneously
There will be 250 lit candles on hand for attendees to blow out in unison.

7. Fastest Time to Build a 20 Shot-Glass Pyramid
This record is all about speed. You ever watch those kids build pyramids with plastic cups? Their concentration is fascinating. Well, this is the grown up version and the goal is to finish in less than 30 seconds.

Now, these are all very sweet and all, but they don't exactly jibe with the Jack experiences familiar to our City of Ate crew, so we've come up with seven alternative records to tackle to celebrate Jack's birthday. Go ahead, try these at home:

1. World's Longest Bout of "Whiskey Dick"
This one will require some daring, guys.

2. Most Car Accidents Caused By Throwing Empty Jack Daniel's Bottle Off Roof

3. World Record for Highest Level of Alcohol Poisoning At Frat Party
With college back in session, these two should be a snap.

4. World Speed Record for Reaching Second Base With a Cousin
Hey, the holidays are coming. It's time to gather with your dysfunctional family.

5. Most Monumentally Ill-Advised 2 a.m. Hook-Up
Why wait for the holidays? There's always Friday night.

6. Most On-Stage Meltdowns Caused By A Single Whiskey Brand
Current record holder, the late Amy Winehouse.

7. Longest Head-Pounding, Stomach-Wrenching, Suicide-Considering Hangover
Trust us. Things don't always go better with Coke.

Follow City of Ate on Twitter: @cityofate.

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