First Encounters With Bad Booze, And Why We Drink the Beer We Do

Categories: Chewing the Fat

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I know better, more flavorful beers exist. When I go to the Meddlesome Moth I always ask for something tart and rustic. Not the sour lambics loaded with fruit, but the naturally fermented old world beers with a lot of funk. I love sour beers with musty and barnyard flavors. I also appreciate beers that capture the floral essence of hops without extracting too much bitterness.

But when I'm not worried about beer-parings with food or a new beer menu and I'm just drinking for the sake of getting tanked I'll order a Bud more often then not.

I get a lot of heat for sipping on the king of beers. I've been asked, almost accusingly by a few new friends I've made, "You're a food critic and you drink Budweiser?" At a party this past weekend, where I had my choice of a world of beers, I drank Bud, from a can. When I hit the corner store on the way home with the intent of sitting on my balcony, I'll buy Bud bottles.

I drink it because I know exactly what I'll get when I pop that top. I drink it because it doesn't leave me feeling heavy and I never get hungover the next day. And most likely, I drink it because it's the first beer I ever drank, at a golf course on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.

A sketchy dude at the snack shack squirreled a six pack of cans into my golf bag, and I let it slosh around in the bottom for 14 holes in the summer heat before I had the balls to pull one out. The can exploded in a piss-warm geyser of foam and somehow kicked off a lifelong habit, now revisited if only for the sake of familiarity.

Some drinkers move on and become full blown hop heads, and others continue drinking from the same can their old man threw at the television when their team coughed up an interception. But whatever you're drinking now, that first beer experience is an almost universal rite of passage that everyone remembers.

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Lone Mountain Truck Leasing
Lone Mountain Truck Leasing

Drinking snake wine or deer urine ridicule, thrown into the trash. However, if you have beer, you really love, and want us to try, and then share with us! We believe that this proposal will select the most interesting sounds, we will run out to the store and pick some up!

just sayin'
just sayin'

My first ever taste of beer was as a little kid at my grandmothers house. She drank Old Milwaukee in a can with salt sprinkled on the top. I couldnt have been much older than 4 or 5. I'm sure the adults all wanted to get a good laugh at my expense when I recoiled in disgust. Instead, what they experienced was the same thing that Nolan Ryans family experienced the first time he picked up a baseball and threw it.

GusMitchem
GusMitchem

West Texas

Half 2nd/3rd generation Mexicans Half 2nd/3rd generation Oil hands

We all loved the KOB, and the attention/respect you got when you were drinking "premium" as a teenager, we were reading the dates back when they were still caesarian and just on the bottom

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

My first beer was an old milwaukees best, at thanksgiving dinner with the whole family.  It was a right of passage in my family, at 14, you were allowed to share a beer with your pops.  But the only beer available was whoever hosted the parties choice, and my great uncle always hosted so it was always Old Milwaukee.  I'm a bud light drinker now, most likely bc that was what my dad kept in the house and it was all I knew.  It just gives me that familiar taste that always helps me end a long day in a comfortable satisfying way.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

So long ago..probably knick-ed a Milwaukee beast from the old man around 12yo..then Coors light at a kegger around 14 1/2.. Then some bartle and James orange, trashcan punch (everclear)..maybe a little Bacardi 151 and lots of throwing up...around 16...Lucky to still be here, and them there vortex bottles are almost as awesome as the bottle cap puzzles on a cold Lone Star at Luckenbach.

mester
mester

I love you, Hipster Dreamboat.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

I can drink cheap, mass produced American beer all day long as long as it is a real 5% alcohol beer.  I just don't see drinking the light versions that are closer to 3%, though.

Unless it is free.  Free is my favorite beer.

Shiner was the shit until Coors bought them out and changed the ingredients.  Can't drink it anymore.

A guy in Jester my freshman year drank enough Mickey's Big Mouths one semester to use the empty 6 packs of bottles as "bricks" and he covered an entire wall of his dorm with them.  Man, that room probably reeked for years after he moved out.

Jim
Jim

Coors does not own Shiner.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

Sorry, meant Corona.  Piss weak beer that starts with a C...

Jim
Jim

"Lone Star Light on tap is a damn fine brew on a hot summer day."     

"I can drink cheap, mass produced American beer all day long as long as it is a real 5% alcohol beer. I just don't see drinking the light versions that are closer to 3%, though.""Sorry, meant Corona. Piss weak beer that starts with a C... "    

Corona               Grupo Modelo Brewing      4.6%Coors                 Miller Coors Brewing          5.0%Lone Star Light  Pabst Brewing                    3.88%

I think Scott and Jesse should sponser a tasting of these American Adjunct Lagers to show that they all taste the same. Turn the sound down on this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

Jim
Jim

Scott - I've kicked you in the nutz a couple times since you told us that you had a Bud at the Katy Trail Icehouse. Seemed like an odd thing to admit to as the food critic at an alternative weekly that tries to market itself to the hip and bohemian.

Anyways, my first beer was an Old Style at some graduation party on my street in suburban Chicago in the late 70's. Was 14 and hated the taste but the buzz was great. Drank alot of that crap at house parties through high schoool. If we could dictate we would choose Miller, The Champaign of Beers because the bottles were clear and we thought we were cool. Little did we know at the time. Then we discovered Anchor and Sierra Nevada in the early 80's and cheap mass produced American swill was nothing but a distant memory.

I can understand the Miller Lite drinkers being so loyal though.....as it is Triple Hops Brewed and it has that cool vortex thing in the bottles.

Also have to love that you know your Coors Light is ready because the mountains are blue....not cause it felt cold when you picked the damn thing up.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

College in Colorado was nothing but kegs of Keystone or Natty Light.

And it was perfectly acceptable out of a red Solo cup when you didn't pay for it.

Crazy Prospector
Crazy Prospector

Back in the day the Pearl, Lone Star, Falstaff and Jax were some of the heavy hitters in Texas.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

Lone Star was our Fraternity's Beer Sponsor.  Every semester, we gave them two slaves, er, uh, pledges, and in exchange we got a couple of kegs of free beer a month.

Lone Star Light on tap is a damn fine brew on a hot summer day.

NewsDog
NewsDog

And the waterfall billoard on Stemmons was the exclusive property of Pearl  

NewsDog
NewsDog

I know I’d had a few on the sly before, but the first beer I openly drank in front of my dad… I was 15 and we were hunting. There were two other guys my age and the men. We were all outside sitting around a fire in the afternoon and I was sitting on the cooler with the beer in it. Dad asked/told me to get him and a friend a beer. I reached in the cooler and grabbed three. Gave one to Dad, one to his buddy and I sat down and opened the third. Pabst Blue Ribbon. Dad gave me a quick look but never said a word. The other guys my age couldn’t believe I had the balls to do that. I didn’t try my luck for a second one Just about the only time I ever drank PBR. In high school I had a job and was making good money (late ‘70s, $100 a week was pretty good) I drank Michelob Light. Went to SFA for college and we drank the hell out of Old Milwaukee because the brewery was an hour North in Longview. $39 keg set ups.

JesseHughey
JesseHughey

A buddy and I swiped a Coors Light or two from his mom in junior high, but it wasn't till high school that we could obtain beer on our own. Just because of the slogan "The Champagne of beers," we went with Miller High Life. At the liquor store we asked a loitering older dude, probably homeless, to buy us a few 40s (not knowing they actually came in 32-oz bottles) and keep the change from the 10-spot or get himself something. He came out with it and said, "I know you white boys always have weed." What could we say? He was right, so we gave him a little in a cigarette cellophane. "What about skins?" he said, which confused us. That was the first time I heard that term for rolling papers.

I thought High Life tasted disgusting then and still do, but would buy it anyway when I couldn't afford anything else. Nowadays if I'm broke I drink cheap whiskey instead of cheap beer, and wait till times are better to buy beer I like.

Daniel Hopkins
Daniel Hopkins

In the summer when I was 18, I went on a bachelor party. Being a good church boy, I never had a drop of alcohol up til that point. A friend handed me a cold Shiner, and I chugged it. I liked it because it wasn't like other carbonated drinks. I instantly preferred its earthy barley flavor to the syrupy Coca Cola I was used to.

I threw up that night, but only because I chased the Shiner with shots of Crown. But I still remember that first beer. Best Shiner I've had since.

MoronDog
MoronDog

Miller High Life at a party out in the middle of nowhere......It was in the 16oz  gold can.....pretty sure I was drunk after 1 and vomited after 3 or 4.  I still have one for nostalgia purposes from time to time but after many years of living I prefer a Miller Lite or a Rolling Rock. 

MattL1
MattL1

I drink Miller Lite because I used to live in Wisconsin and that's what everyone in my family drank.  I used to get little plastic cups of it from my grandpa.  I thought it tasted like shit.  

Now I  save that designation for Heineken.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

First serious beer hammering was with Bud playing quarters.  Got so drunk I walked straight into an oak tree, fell flat on my ass, got up and apologized to it, then puked on it.

Been a Bud Man ever since.

RIP Harry Caray

Jim
Jim

Harry Carey pimped many a brand before he ever got to Bud. Falstaff was the one I remember when he was doing White Sox games in the 70s.

Ironic that he lost his Cardinal broadcasting job because he slept with Auggie Busch's wife....or so the folklore goes.

primi timpano
primi timpano

Dizzy Dean used to promoted ice cold Falstaff on his baseball tv broadcasts.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

I did not know that, sir.

+1 internet point for obscure sports announcer trivia.

Jim
Jim

Used to watch Harry and Jimmy Piersall do the White Sox game on a fuzzy UHF station. Harry was obviously partaking of the Falstaff and as the innings wore on and the Sox played worse the commentary became scathing. Was great times. No Tom Grieve butt licking spin going on.

NewsDog
NewsDog

...Oak tree your in my way...

Scooter
Scooter

A Schlitz baby bull behind the rec center with Kimmy C.  Sad to say my life will never reach that apex again.

LaurenDrewesDaniels
LaurenDrewesDaniels

Dang, Scooter. That almost made me cry. 

I'm being serious. It's the simple things, right? I don't Kimmy C or you, but I'd have a beer behind a rec center with either of you right now. 

Daily Reader
Daily Reader

A taste of a Bud red tallboy was my first sip.  I gagged more at the smell of the beer than the taste.  Warm Sunday afternoon riding around in 1969.  Small town with nothing to do but drag main.  The older guys had the beer so I thought I'd give it a try.  Naturally they wanted me to try it again probably so I would acquire a taste and then they could get in my pants I presume.  A few weeks later, I tried Coors and I stayed with that for many years and eventually switched to Bud, Miller Lite, Shiner or Bud Light.  Bud red tall boys always take me back to my high school days.

Shayan
Shayan

Once you take the Budweiser brewery tour in St Louis, you gain an even greater respect for the king of beers.  It's an impressive set up there.

jamal
jamal

My first was most certainly a Miller High Life, on a road trip from Houston to Dallas or vice-versa.  I was probably in jr. high.  My dad used to buy those short bottles (and Corn Nuts) when we were road tripping.  Back before such things were, um, frowned upon.

Jon Daniel
Jon Daniel

Drink what you want, man. You can still rage against crappy food even if every once in a while you have a bud or hit Taco Bell. But in the immortal words of Hanna (ahhhhhchhhhhoooooo) Raskin, "just because you like it, doesn't make it good"

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Ain't nothing wrong with a common American cheap lager sometimes. Beer elitism is almost as annoying as hamburger elitism. Sometimes you just want a Miller Lite or a Whataburger.

Storm_71
Storm_71

Nice job Scott. I drink Miller Lite. Why one may ask?? Pretty fucking simple I like the taste and like Scott it was one of the first beers I'd ever drank. I have been known to swell Heineken,a nice cold Molson, and even sometimes a Grolsch (those flip top bottles kick ass). I always come back to my sweet friend Miller Lite.

Rangers 3-1 in the ALDS what do you think Scott?

Scott Reitz
Scott Reitz

I was hoping for more of those first beer stories. Did you steal the Miller from your father's fridge and chug it in the basement?

As for baseball, I'm a passive watcher this time of year. When that fall weather rolls in it's hard not to think about football. I'm pulling for the Rangers though.

primi timpano
primi timpano

No way to remember the first beer story, but growing up in San Antonio it was definitely Pearl or Lone Star.  In fact, when I was a juniotr in high school the drinking age was 18 and open containers were legal.  After school we would go to the Pearl keg dock and drink free beer with the dock workers--always had one tapped in the walk in refrigerator.  Today it's Schlitz for the low end, Bohemia for the high end.  Sure miss Pearl.

Sturms_Bloody_Rectum
Sturms_Bloody_Rectum

First beer story, my bad. I can only remember buying Foster "oil cans" at the local Mobil gas stations, the owners would sell to anybody. First legal, San Diego Navy base, 18yo to drink beer. Craziest place to buy/drink a beer, Pohang S.Korea US military base(like what you see in MASH) Dunkin Donuts, don't ask me why, finish your 12hour shift and go to the "Dunk-n-Drunk."

Jon Daniel
Jon Daniel

I grew up in Marin County. I could tell the difference between Oregon and Humbold County sinsemilla before I even tasted my 1st beer. However, when I moved to Dallas the drinking age was 18 (not 21) and there was no open container law. We stayed at the Northpak inn on Park. My little brother (16) and I drove to the 7-11 down the street, bought 1 of every loose beer (1st time I bought up), and proceeded to split all 20 cans/bottles that night. Poor maid...

Jon Daniel
Jon Daniel

Funny you ask that. The weed was so BAD in Dallas in 1978, that I quit. By that time in SF, I was buying at a place near the Haight that looked like a coffee shop in Amsterdam, with a menu on the chalkboard. Switched to beer, went to UT, and drank $2 Shiner Bock pitchers when you couldn't even get it in Dallas

primi timpano
primi timpano

Awesome.  Which is did you like better--Humboldt or Oregon?  In Texas the best I ran across was Oaxacan.

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

Hey to each his own. A lot of my friends can't understand why I like Miller Lite, whether because it's less filling or tastes great. I always tell them, anything is better than the first two beers I ever had, one being a Schlitz and the other Lone Star.

On a sidenote, be sure to check out RW's last Oberserver column and create a eulogy. I'm curious to see what you'll write. http://www.dallasobserver.com/...

Storm_71
Storm_71

Looked like pretty much the exact same from last week but he just took out the bullet points. Good ole Richie cut-n-paste Whitt. The story above had more thought in it than 80% of RW's posts from the last six months.

Sturms_Bloody_Rectum
Sturms_Bloody_Rectum

agree, more self promotion. Along side of Robert and Jim, I think not. I don't 100% buy the downsizing, it was RW, mailing it in. In the great words of Wash, the ones I understood, "I don't cut players, they cut themselves." RW used this outlet as a "source" for his other gig, and vice versa.

Sturms_Bloody_Rectum
Sturms_Bloody_Rectum

Thumbs up.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

Agreed.  Props to any dude who will own his affection for cheap beer and stand up to the "Beer Knurds".

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