Eight Things That Should Really Get Fried At The 2011 Texas State Fair

By Alice Laussade Fri., Aug. 26 2011 at 11:42 AM

Deep fried bacon? So 2008.

Yesterday, Mark Zable's fried biscuits and gravy announcement got us all hyped up for the fried fare at this year's State Fair of Texas. We're just days away from the official announcement of the finalists of the Big Tex Choice Awards and we're all sitting around wondering, "Well, if fried biscuits and gravy didn't make it into the finals round -- what possibly could have made it?"

We have hopes. We have dreams. And now, we have a list of the eight fried foods we hope are finalists for this year's Big Tex Choice Awards. Behold:

Pecan Lodge

Fried burnt ends (updated)

Let's stop screwing around with the burnt ends pizzas and let's do this right, y'all. It's time to fry those suckers.

Update 11:41 a.m: Holy crap, it happened. Pecan Lodge just fried burnt ends (above).

Fried loaded baked potato

This suggestion came to us via Noah Bailey, and it's a keeper. Chives or no chives, though? What's the plan here?

Fried Kimchee

Kimchee's good. And if someone hasn't already thrown that whole mess in a fryer, they really, really should've.

Cane Rosso

Holyshiyholyshitholyshit; updated

Fried Neapolitan pizza

Because fuck being authentic. It's State Fair time and there ain't nothing a fryer can't make better. Except maybe beer.

Incredible Update Part Two, 4:45 p.m: Cane Rosso just tweeted the above photo, along with "Fried Cane Rosso pizza w LH BurntEnds." Also, "see you in hell @thecheapbastard."

Fried TUMS and/or Fried Lipitor

Let's do the tropical flavors. Mmm. And it has calcium, which is something your body needs anyway! Or maybe fried Lipitor is more Most Creative? It's definitely worse. Just not sure if that's a good worse or a bad worse.

Fried Snow Cone

Fry us a snow cone, beetches! Fry! A! Snow Cone!

gabbahey suggested this one in the comments section. Can't really think of anything better than a Fried Pimp Juice.

Fried Ranch Dip

Use a Ruffles-based batter and we immediately bone you. The next year, do fried hummus and every vegan everywhere will love you forever, too.

Fried Foie Gras

Chris Danger suggested this one in the comments section. We have to agree that it could easily win the Most Creative title based on how many people would instantly cry just at the sight of this fried item. Some sad tears, some happy tears. All crying.

Tags:

Big Tex Choice Awards, fried burnt ends, fried foie gras, fried ranch dip, fried snow cone, Mark Zable, State Fair of Texas

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bigdaddy

how about frying abstract concepts? deep fried love, fried lethargy...just an idea. I love you.

Fried chicken sashimi would be awesome.

Alice Laussade

Fried chicken with sashimi on top? Or maybe we're talking chicken-fried sashimi?

Miss Macy

I'd like to suggest Fried Formula for babies as a way to initiate the newest members of your family for life in Texas. Follow that up at 9 months with Deep-Fried Cream of Wheat and then invent a whole line of Gerber's Deep-Fried Crap for Toddlers. I'm just saying.

Alice Laussade

Oh em gee. Deep-fried boob milk.

Deep-fried umbilical? Too crunchy?

G_David

I've long held the notion that humans will eat ANYTHING so long as it's battered, deep-fried and served with plenty of ranch dressing. So I vote for fried dog turds. Feed the masses (and massive) and clean up Dallas at the same time.

JesseHughey

Wrap shrimp and jalapeño slivers in bacon, grill it, then batter and deep-fry the whole thing.

JesseHughey

To expand the barbecue lineup, deep-fried pulled pork with a side of coleslaw would be great.

Nick R.

Can we deep fry the entrance to the State Fair? So you have to eat your way inside?

Nick R.

The world is a very, very good place.

Merritt Martin

OK, I was going to enter fried Ranch a couple of years ago. I got a brilliant containment idea, too. Makin' it happen some day.

guest

You city slickers do know that Grady Spears was frying foie gras in the Fort 10 years ago, right?

gabbahey

Fried Hummus and Pita chips FTW!

Margie Hubbard

I'd seriously buy the fried burnt ends. I'd even stand in line.

Titus Groan

Fried burnt ends - someone please make this happen.

Alice Laussade

@WhatWeAte just suggested fried elotes. Holy mother. #getfried

No.Loose.Corn.

Deeply, deeply disturbing.

Chris Danger

YES! I got a mention! Score one for me!!

How about fried venison on a stick? Theres one for the game hunters who like to come to the fair in their camos, as I usually see plenty of those from Okieland on UT/OU weekend

Anna Merlan

I second fried hummus. Also, if someone would make some sort of spicy fried tofu, all us vegetarians would shuffle our anemic limbs and do a feeble little dance.