My Fit Foods: Losing Weight by Buying Food You Don't Want to Eat

Categories: Cheap Bastard

Charles-Atlas-comic.jpg
The typical Cheap Bastard response when confronted by purveyors of healthy food.
My Fit Foods is what would happen if Eatzi's ate Jenny Craig. It's a wall of refrigerators filled with premade, preportioned, ready-to-wave, better-for-you-than-horking-down-a-stuffed-crust-pizza meals. The goal of My Fit Foods is to help us buncha lazy tubtowns learn how to not eat triple cheeseburgers with bacon every damned day. You don't have to have a membership, you don't have to agree to buy a bazillion meals -- you just walk in, get your food and go find yourself a dirty microwave to self-hatingly shove it into.

They have locations in Dallas, Houston, San Antonio and Austin. So, they're in three of the fattest cities in America as ranked by Men's Health, plus one skinny-bitch-who-tells-everyone-else-that-if-they-just-rode-a-bike-and-listened-to-better-music-they'd-be-undisgusting city. Yeah, I said it: Fuck you for being so healthy, tan and likable, Austin. Asshead.

My Fit Foods is the first restaurant you've ever been to that doesn't smell like food. At all. Zero wafting. Even Wendy's has a smell, and they don't sell food.

I went with the small chicken tikka masala entrée (chicken breast, roasted veggies and a "spiced tomato curry sauce") for $7.25. The larger the portion you order, the more you pay. Dickfaces. Their large is more than 10 bucks, and they're out of medium, so I have to get the small. (Smiling and completely nice) "Is that it?" No. Also, I'd like this punch in your ball sack for handing me this reasonable portion of food.

It's a shameful thing, waiting beside a microwave while your lunch reheats. But at least this food didn't give off that Lean Cuisine diarrhea smell.

One bite in, it was fine. It wasn't tikka masala-y (Where's my creamy sauce? Why do I only taste cayenne?), but it was fine. They should have named it, "chicken, veggies and some over-cayenned, watery tomato sauce that all tastes so not-great that it must be good for you." But, hell. The meal program they're selling promises to help you lose weight. It doesn't promise you'll want to actually eat their food. I threw away half of my small portion. Aaaaand now I see how the program works.

Next time, I'm gonna save the 10 bucks and just microwave a sock and not eat it.

My Fit Foods
4015 Lemmon Ave.
214-780-0602

Yoga pants count: 15
Flexing biceps count: 50.5

Follow City of Ate on Twitter: @cityofate.

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26 comments
steda2
steda2

I love the concept of MyFit Foods but will probably stop using them. They have a problem with freshness. Meals often do not seem to stay fresh until the listed expiration date on the package, or have spoiled well before then. I've been a frequent customer for a while despite it, but I'm getting sick of tossing stuff out. Dissapointing.

jrube33
jrube33

You people are funny, complaining about taste!! LOL!! If you want results you have to eat right and not only the proper food, the quanity has to be reasonable. The food will do wonders if you stay on track. More energy, more focus, and at least you will start to look healthier with proper training. If you were to eat there for 3 week straight with 6 proper portioned meals. You will be amazed how food transforms a body. Like gas in a gas tank. Crappy quaility of gas , car runs and performs like crap. You run premium gas, BOOM!! You have a some performance under that hood waiting to be used!!!

Asshead from Austin
Asshead from Austin

I love this article, and I think I love Alice.  The wife told me she's stopping by MFF this evening.  Fuck me for being so healthy, tan, and likeable.

Ssmorris1452
Ssmorris1452

I don't why you people waste so much time on something you don't like. Shut the fuck up and eat a cheesburger fatass! I have been eating MFF meals for about 3 months and have lost 22 pounds, had no heartburn or diaherra (which I get almost evertime I eat _______ Burgers) MFF has a pretty good selection to choose from, if you don't like something then don't get it again (duh) over all their program is like anything else. If you are to fat and lazy you will not have success.

gladforit
gladforit

 Eating clean isn't new to us, but working and cooking his just hard for us to stay on track sometimes...we just discovered a MFF at a kiosk at HEB here in Austin. The iron steak tacos were yum, and was the chicken with roasted vegggies. I have heard some dishes are better than others.  I'm glad for a healthier alternative, hope we like most of their dishes, as it is convenient.

Austinite
Austinite

Sounds like just another fat fuck that doesn't shit about nutrition. Signed, triathlete from austin.

Stephanie
Stephanie

As I was sitting at the red light today in Frisco, I couldn't help but notice a large white truck that was pulling a matching trailer, with huge business logo, "MyFitFoods.com" 21-Day Challenge

My next observation was the driver, a big, fat, unfit, hairy guy!  As I continue to sit at this ridiculously long, light, I'm thinking...."Is this an oxymoron, or just a moron?"

Apparently the driver doesn't participate in the MyFit program and certainly not up to their 21-Day Challenge. How's that for advertising?

Irishsox65
Irishsox65

Whoever wrote this article is a complete prick. MFF is an excellent concept with great employees and very good food. Keep feeding your fat face at the Outback with the rest of the whales and let the fit people go to MFF! 

Weightlifter
Weightlifter

They have good meals, but I like Perfect Fit Meals better.  Plus they're USDA approved.  I think they are only in Houston.  Maybe they'll come to Austin soon

Ldiva74
Ldiva74

Entertaining read. I love ur use of adjectives!

Catherinearmstro
Catherinearmstro

I love My Fit Foods! This is a such a weird post and nothing like what the concept does..they make my life so easy. Eating healthy people...think about. 

ChestyPuller
ChestyPuller

Everyone, you should read their nutritional facts.  They have a disclaimer on that label for a reason...those numbers are just GUESSES!  There is no FDA or USDA inspection on any of their crap.  Food might taste alright, some even good but don't believe their label.  You want a place you can trust, eat at Fit n' Fresh, their stuff is inspected and verified by the USDA!

herbal tea
herbal tea

Fit foods.!! Never think about fit foods. But i love to eat junk foods and fast foods. But till not gain weight yet. So i think that i have to focus more on fatty foods rather than low fat foods. I am too much slim.

MFFLove
MFFLove

Wow.  This is kind of a rude article...I shop at all of the health food spots in Austin - MFF, Snap, & Mel's, and I actually like MyFitFoods best.  Some dishes are more flavorful than others, but with the American population afraid of anything with a strong taste, I can see why they err on the bland side.  Come on though guys.  It's not so hard to raid your spice cabinet if you want to kick things up a notch.  Personally, I love the oatmeal, enchiladas, chili, the new cobb salad.  Also, I'm always telling people about their salmon dishes, which I think are better than most restaurant quality salmon.  I've always had a great experience with their customer service as well.  They always remember my name, ask my about my dogs and other personal things, and walk my food to my car.  Oh, and on a final note, every single person that I've met there has been in great shape.  I'm sure there are exceptions, just like how not everyone who staffs the gym is ripped and lean, but I think they're doing something very nice for the general populace who would actually like to start thinking about their health, yet still want something tasty and convenient. Go MFF and please ignore all of the haters out there who wouldn't recognize a meal if it wasn't 2,000 calories and covered in bacon and cheese.  

WebsmithBLOG
WebsmithBLOG

No My Fit Foods for this family. I don't know too many people that work for the organization that are actually in shape. 

Carrie Corcoran
Carrie Corcoran

Cheap Bastard I love you!  You just say it like it is.  My husband and tried to like My Fit Foods but only ended up going twice.  I agree, the food is not flavorful. 

KMcc
KMcc

This article, I love it. I haven't been to a My Fit Foods but I do like Snap Kitchen here in Austin. It's a similar idea but their food is, in my opinion, really tasty. Also, they don't claim to make you lose weight—their main goal is to just feed you high quality ingredients with nothing fake.

RZD
RZD

I agree that they over cayenne many of their dishes and, unfortunately for you, the tikka masala is really one of the worst things they make but you should give them another try.  Is it going to be the best food you've ever eaten?  No.  But it's all generally under 350 calories, a proper portion size, has fresh vegetables and tastes far better and is far better for you than any Lean Cuisine.  I keep several in my fridge every week to avoid a food splurge when I'm too busy to cook.  I like the turkey chili, turkey spaghetti, and they have a chicken meal with sweet potatoes which is all quite tasty for what it is.

Cheerybitch
Cheerybitch

The turkey chili is the best! We're addicted to their migas, too.

foodbitch
foodbitch

My experience was exactly the same. Sub chili for tikka masala. The cayenne quotient was out of control. Why? It's a natural metabolism-inhancer! How is it possible that something can be so spicy and yet so tasteless all at once? I guess that's what fitness tastes like. 

Hung
Hung

Food tasted good to me.  Had the bbq chicken..  It's all about expectation.  You can't expect a 5 star lunch or dinner.  I would have to say it is the best microwaveable meal i have ever ate.  Hands down nothing in the frozen sections compare.  And i have ate it all.  That being said the price points are high.  I can get the brand X "healthy" for as low as 99 cents each. (specials of course).  If MFF's medium was at the price point of their small portions, i would eat these daily.

Alice Laussade
Alice Laussade

I also tried whatever macaroni & meat dish that is that they serve. It was equally awful. Made me want Hamburger Helper. Which is motherboning disgusting.

But thanks for the turkey tips. Someone try that!

Ginas
Ginas

Yuck, Had the migas this morning, couldn't tell which part was egg. Why the spaghetti sauce on top?>>>>>>Threw 1/3 of it in garbage with the money I just wasted.

TLS
TLS

I made Hamburger Helper at the request of my husband who wanted to re-live the good old days of his childhood.  After hiding the box in my shopping cart under a mountain of maxi-pads I made it home undetected.  I prepared it as directed.  I served it to the family.  And then we all died.  This is the ghost of TLS speaking.  Never, ever eat Hamburger Helper.

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