Drought Drunk: The Bitching-About-Texas-Weather Drinking Game

Categories: Drink This
carthermometer2.jpeg
Drink in the horrible, awful hot.
It's hot. People won't shut up about it. We're not quite sure why you people are cheering for the stupid hot to continue (we're looking at you, @CBS11Larry). Rather than get annoyed, here at City of Ate we think it's about damned time we made this shitty streak of unthunderstorms into a drinking game. There. Now everyone's happy.

Go out there (if you're not elderly or a tiny baby or a dog or a cat) and enjoy yourself a good game or two of Drought Drunk this afternoon. 

How to play Drought Drunk

Here's the general concept:

At any point in your day, if you hear people talking about the weather, you drink. You hear someone say, "Ugh! I'm soooo sweaty!" Drink.

More rules (including what to do when you see a seven-day forecast photo) after the jump.

women-sweaty-arm.jpg
So sad. So sweaty. So getting me drunk.
"It's 106! When's it gonna rain???" Drink twice.
(Once for the current temperature update, once for the bitching about lack of rain.)

Lawn or plant updates.
"I just can't water enough." Drink.

deadyardsmall.jpg
Yep. It's dead. Drink.

Anything involving how someone's pets or kids are reacting to this weather gets two drinks.

"I can't even run the dog outside anymore!" "It's so hot, that playground slide almost burned Pepsi's onesie off!" 

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Caution: I probably don't give a shit. But thanks for the buzz.

And finally...
If you should happen upon a photo of a seven-day forecast or a car thermometer posted by a friend on Facebook or Twitter, it's time to chug.

sevendayforecast.jpg
Chug, bitches.

When it's this hot (drink), it's important to stay hydrated! So choose booze, lemonade or water -- just make sure your dad isn't your designated because his nonstop weathering could get you water hammered.



Follow City of Ate on Twitter: @cityofate.
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19 comments
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iblobar
iblobar

sssaaalllooooooo tttooo uuuu

Josh Slate
Josh Slate

Ive got an even better game, same rules apply but you have to read all the comments. if you get through them without puking then you win! happy drinking!

ThreeOranges
ThreeOranges

What about someone mentions their foundation cracking?

Alice Laussade
Alice Laussade

I'd say that falls under the Watering Lawn category. = 1 drink

Either steer the conversation away or towards the deadness of their lawn, depending on how hydrated you want things to get.

Guest
Guest

I pulled up to the local McDonalds drive thru to get my morning diet coke fix (waaaaay too hot to get out of the car and go into a convience store. drink) and the sweet little indian lady working the intercome said "Good Morning! Would you like a hot coco today!" Cracked me up and made my day!

Tammyevans
Tammyevans

There's nothing like drinking beer all day with hot, sweaty men!-Tammy Evans

Steve
Steve

Excellent!

Just imagine wearing 40 lbs. of body armor, 90 lbs. of combat gear, in the fucking SAND, getting shot at by people you're there to allegedly help, in WORSE heat.  And worrying if your paycheck is going to bounce.

Sorry, I love you Alice, that just crossed my mind as I heard everyone obsessing about the heat in their suitpants and air conditioning.

Katie
Katie

i like to go against the grain and say things like, "what lovely weather we're having!" or "does anyone have a sweater? i'm a little chilly."

ChrisU
ChrisU

if someone says 'is it hot enough for ya?' hit them over the head with the damn bottle

BlueCanyonKid
BlueCanyonKid

It is funny, but if you drink alcohol in this heat, it'll make you feel a whole lot worse (I know, take a drink - make mine Gatorade until the heat breaks. Okay, 2 drinks.)

Deb
Deb

I would be drunk every day!  LOL!

cp
cp

What are you talking about "would be"? I HAVE been drunk every day!

Nick
Nick

hilarious stuff... methinks I will play this weekend while in Austin.

Turd I.T. Sink
Turd I.T. Sink

Don't play it with Hot Damn. You'll fall into an infinite loop of taint sweat and cinnamon vomit.

TLS
TLS

I'm still drunk from my "debt ceiling" game.

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