These Assholes Line Jumped at the Frisco In-N-Out Yesterday

Categories: Whimsy

the jerks 2.JPG
Jenny Block
Have you seen these men? Contact the burger-ethics police immediately.
I've got to lay off the crack. I left my house in far North Dallas at 1:15 p.m. yesterday, thinking I would have missed the lunch rush by the time I got to In-N-Out. When I got there -- well, you know the scene.

An employee at the end of the line told me the wait would be about three hours. I figured he was exaggerating. He wasn't.

A couple hours passed. We barely moved. But the clouds in the sky certainly did. Toward us. Something about the storm and the waiting seemed to just bring people together. Three of us, no names exchanged, became our own little tribe, predicting the wait time, deciding whether to wait it out, making a game plan in case of rain.

Within a half hour the clouds were on top of us, dumping preposterous amounts of water. I didn't think for a second about leaving. No one did.

Luckily, things got interesting.

While we waited, the three guys pictured above walked past the line and into In-n-Out. Slicker than the sidewalks, these fuckers. An actual hush fell over the crowd.

"Did you see that?" people asked each other. I watched for a few minutes and then marched inside.

They were schmoozing folks in line, trying to bribe other folks to buy food for them. Now normally I figure, whatever. But I was soaked and freezing and two hours in with, it would turn out, two hours to go. It just seemed outside the spirit of things.

I told them to leave, and threatened to get a manager.

"That's fine," one said. "We're not doing anything wrong. I don't see what the big deal is."

The manager told them to get in line. Instead, they lurked around and attempted the move again. So I got the manager again, and again he told them to get in line or scram. Finally they left. My companions cheered my valiant efforts. They did not award me with a Double-Double, so it meant nothing at the time.

the jerk.JPG
But those little fuckers showed up again. And once again I marched my soaking-wet ass in there, and once again the manager blah blah blah. But they wouldn't be deterred, and sure enough, after I had waited three hours and was finally standing close enough to the building to see inside, I could see them through the window, taking down burgers and fries.

"Isn't that those jerk-offs?" the girl behind me asked.

"It is indeed," I said, and that girl and her crew, bless their starving little hearts, told them off through the glass. When the manager passed, I pointed through the window. He was apologetic, but said they just couldn't keep track of them.

It's amazing how quickly a community forms under bizarre circumstances like waiting four hours in the rain for a fast-food cheeseburger. I hope those boys enjoy their bad burger karma. They are in for a world of cosmic hurt. I just know it.

We finally made it into the building and up to the register and, suddenly, I got stage fright and couldn't remember what I was supposed to order. But the smiling girl at the counter waited patiently while I stumbled through it. "Three burgers, two cheese burgers, two fries, a large drink, and I vanilla milkshake." Had to bring some home to the fam (who I found out later like Double Doubles, of course).

Any way, after I ordered, I moved aside in disbelief, receipt in hand. I was so close.

And then the waiting began again.

Another hour passed -- another hour! -- and it finally happened. "Sixty-four," I heard the disembodied voice say.

My number. It was my number. I all but floated up to the counter. I skipped back to by seat with the food and bit in -- and I'll be damned if it wasn't the best first bite of anything I'd had in years. Must have been the journey or something. All I know is that it was, indeed, damn good. Better than I remembered. Too bad it'll be months before I can get another one.


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49 comments
haha
haha

why would you wait so long for a burger in the rain??? obviously this wasnt the only thing these guys were doing on that day. Damn is it that bad that they had other things to do besides stand in a line all day for something that will be there later. tons of people have had in&out, it just makes texas look bad that everyone is freaking out for these burgers. It is funny how many people are just getting personal on here haha. i guess they have nothing better to do than be on here shit-talking. im glad my cousin told me there was an article about him online or else i never would have seen this. WE HAD A GOOD LAUGH ABOUT THIS.

Harrisonhodson
Harrisonhodson

Well written. I wouldve told those fuckers off too

Trudat
Trudat

Good job ya little fockers!!  Do it again and again to piss off the dbags who stand in line for 3 hours for a burger they can get any anywhere.....

Guest
Guest

Maybe it IS the end of the world this Saturday. Because I don't get this burger cult

Cowtown
Cowtown

I dread when they will open the one over here in Fort Worth on 7th Street. The same type of mindless sheep without a life will clog up traffic on an already busy street.

Reverendvelvet
Reverendvelvet

Oh, and for an alternative newspaper The Observer reader base is surprisingly slanted toward the bigoted  ... but wait ... this is Dallas. Gee Dubya country. Make sense now.

Reverendvelvet
Reverendvelvet

Either be a lemming and do what everyone else is doing or screw the line and take control of the situation.

You folks who stood in line thinking "Oh this is fun meeting new people and stuff y'a'll" only end up looking like the brain dead fools you are ...

I applaud the boys for creative thinking and persistence !!!

Chris Danger
Chris Danger

They look like twink jagoffs anyway, may the Gods of Fast Food strike them down with soupy bowel, which will prevent them from "scoring on cedar springs" this weekend...

3rd Wheel Marketing
3rd Wheel Marketing

I can barely wait for Adair's burgers and I can tell you it's a much better burger than In & Out. Good thing I wasn't there, I'd put so many pop-knots in those smug bastards heads they would look like bags of walnuts.

Mail
Mail

Those damn things are way overrated.  Go get a Whataburger with cheese and jalapenos and save yourself a few hours and leave In and Out to the trendy crispy-creme/starbucks crowd. 

Scot
Scot

 LOSERS!  But why would anyone wait so long in line for a hamburger and fries???

Bob
Bob

I'm not understanding something here--just because these guys are douchebags, you assume that they're gay?  'Cause no straight man would ever do something so douchy as break into a 3 hour chopped-meat-on-bread line?

You people need to get out more--and I don't mean just to a fast-food joint.  The straight world is full of douchebags.  Try the West Village on Friday evening, or Greenville Avenue (upper or lower) on Saturday night.

trafficjulia
trafficjulia

I hope they got secret sauce on their manpurses!

Sallie
Sallie

Seriously, who waits in line for 3 hours and then waits another hour for a burger. That's just crazy!

Roman
Roman

Wait.  You waited 3+ hours for a burger?

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Over here in the Fort, that's cause for an asswhupping..little North Dall dbags. 

William Bonney
William Bonney

In-N-Out makes a *decent* burger and fries, but not worth more than a 10-minute wait. I've walked out of In-N-Out locations in CA when it appeared I'd have to wait more than that. I can make a better burger in my sleep. Also, I would have walked in and knocked these asssholes' food onto the floor. So what if I become persona non grata at that location (again, not that tasty)? It would be worth it to see the looks on their pip squeek little faces. Even better if they decide to take me on: dessert. :)

M
M

That does suck. Douchebas 100% also I would not wait for a burger too many places to choose from. hmm could of walked past and said oops as you dropped a drink but then you would be at their level. Karma comes around..

Kman143
Kman143

Look how they're dressed...that says it all.

M3atcak3
M3atcak3

You do know you could have gone down the street to steak and shake and had the same burger and not waited in line. In and out = over rated.

MollyB
MollyB

Where else can you have your picture shown and your story of line jumping revealed to the World? The Observer. Way to go. Yes, they are jerks!

MK
MK

I can't believe the Dallas Observer actually wrote an article like this.

Ranting because someone cut a line at In-N-Out burger? You wouldn't have had this problem if you just waited a week to try In-N-Out. I promise it will be there next week.

jbg
jbg

Amazing that someone has that kind of time to waste fro a stupid, greasy hamburger! The rest of us have real lives.

Lemonaioli
Lemonaioli

Probably the only power these dudes have. Must suck to get a thrill cutting in line. Look like the poor schmucks who ring up my groceries at Kroger. Nice to dress for the occasion, dudes. Bet they moved here from LA because they got tired of living with all of their relatives in one crappy stucco house.

Rooster
Rooster

For the love of god, look at them. It's not like any of them will ever have sex with a woman. Let them have a hamburger...

Jcapjcrew
Jcapjcrew

These guys were some pricks, too bad they just got away with it. But in the end I got my 8 burgers and enjoyed 2 of them knowing it was a well earned meal. Lol I like how you say "these fuckers".....priceless!!

dertymindz
dertymindz

Another good reason to not visit fast food grand openings! For 1: it's fast food. For 2: it's fast food. For 3: well, you get the gist. But, I know you have to write a article and everything... and just think, it gave you something to write about!

sb
sb

People suck so much. I just tell myself, these people are such assholes that they're bound to get what's coming to them, eventually.

Catmandoo
Catmandoo

I love this article!! I am one of the last people in the world that are okay to wait for my turn. I don't understand how so many people can think that they are more important than anyone else, but it happens every where I go. Dead are the manners that Texans were once so proud of.

Montemalone
Montemalone

You should have slashed the tires on the little pricks' Kia.

and why the fuck would anybody stand in line in a downpour for 3 hours for a hamburger?

Steve
Steve

Hey, mainge, that's not El Pollo Loco!

Dios Mio!!! AAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!

Bugger
Bugger

nice advertorial for In-N-Out

craig
craig

No worries. But I can tell you these dude are experts in sampling each other's secret sauce.

I KNOW this.

ayyy
ayyy

 i think you are just confusing douchebags for creativeness... really? who waits in line for a burger for that long and in the rain?

Montemalone
Montemalone

 I think you mean West Village 24/7

chick draper
chick draper

Sorry, you lose M3atcak3. I LOVE Steak n Shake, but In N Out is vastly > and NOT the =.

Rose
Rose

These dudes are SMART! Who waits in a 3 hour line for a burger?

TheDude_Abides
TheDude_Abides

You read it didn't you? Plus, it's nice to see douchebags called out for once. I love articles like this!

Coleman
Coleman

you don't read the Dallas Observer much, do you?

gabbahey
gabbahey

These assholes are probably the same pricks who speed past everyone waiting in a line for an on-ramp of off-ramp on the freeways, and try to squeeze their shit-box in front of everyone waiting.

Same scheme for your burger-valhalla experience, only thing is, people here don't (and won't) stand up for themselves, and these shitbags know that.

Remy
Remy

What is up with all the racist people in Dallas?  These guys are total assholes, but only because they cut in line.

jamal
jamal

In-N-Out isn't paying shit for anyone to cover their grand openings, I can assure you of that. So no, this is not an advertorial.

Anne-Marie
Anne-Marie

What do you expect from a Bugger?

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