Five Ways To Get Unlucky By Eating On Friday The 13th

Categories: Lists

If you haven't already been reminded by 90 coworkers today, we're happy to tell you that today's Friday the 13th. According to Wikipedia, fear of Friday the 13th is called friggatriskaidekaphobia. So now you know that. Nerd.

Since today's already unlucky, in the spirit of getting screwed by your own superstitions, we think you should go somewhere you're bound to really step in it. Let's poop in the face of unluckiness and sign ourselves up for a lunch fail. Let's go back to that place we found some hair in our food. Let's wonder what ingredients are really in that cream sauce. Here's our list of five places you might be able to get unlucky today:

1. Lockhart Smokehouse
400 West Davis
Dallas, TX 75208

If you happen to be Leslie Brenner, go check out Lockhart Smokehouse in Oak Cliff today. Brenner just rated their barbecue one star. (We'd link to it, but you'd just be looking at the DMN's pretty paywall. Which would be dumb.) Then, @DallasLockhart tweeted this:

"We have 2 specials today inspired by Leslie Brenner's @lesbren review. The first is baloney. Ours is smoked, not written ... And for our second special check out the picture..."

Guaranteed she could get a good, solid fork to the earhole if she went there today. We're sure you'd find the brisket super tasty, but LB might be up for a different experience altogether.

2. In & Out Tacos
413 S. Garland Ave.
Garland, TX

"A shard of something as dense as bone is something that ought not ever be found in a lengua taco. If their experience is anything like my last one, that frightfully unlucky possibility awaits customers of this taco stand. Tongues and bones are great and in certain situations can lead to wonderful experiences. But not in a taco." --José Ralat Maldonado

3. Bee Gee's Restaurant
9025 Forest Lane
Dallas, TX 75243 972-669-0809

"I once ordered their chicken-fried steak and got human fried bile. It was Trump-hair bad." --Alice Laussade

5. Heart Attack Grill
1718 N. Market St
Dallas, TX 75202

Heart Attack Grill opens in the West End today. And if you're over 350 pounds you eat free. Lucky you?

6. Best Thai
7447 N Macarthur Blvd
Irving, TX

"My worst was at Best Thai. Starving, I powered through a plate of Pad Kee Mow, even though there was something not...quite...right. The next day, it was Pad Kee Spew."
--Anthony Marks

So, where have you gotten unlucky in Dallas? (Besides prom.)

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Her taste buds are as shitty as her writing.  Thank you Alice, it is obvious why YOU were nominated for a Beard and not the Kingmaker. 

Dallas Diner
Dallas Diner

Anyone who says the fatty end brisket from Lockhart is dry has lost their freaking mind.  When I get it as takeout, I have to sit it in the kitchen sink when I get home because it is leaking through both the butcher paper and the carry bag.


Good for Lockhart's!  Went for lunch (and I did use a fork- I think they should keep them). Pork chop was AWESOME! 

Ed D.
Ed D.

Free food for folks over 350lbs at Heart Attack Grill? Have they seen Dallas? If not for the fact that nobody goes to the West End anymore, they'll be bankrupted in a month.


Good Eats on Greenville (now closed) was kind enough to swath raw chicken in concealer, and the resultant  force of my power-shitting and puking served as a decent ab workout  That, plus the Night Sweats, kind of made it all worth it. 

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