10 Fast Foods That Sound Like Sex Positions

Paris Hilton dives into a very 'Big Carl.' (Western bacon style)

​Just about anything can take on a sexual connotation, and while efforts are being made to sex up food, what of the unsexiest of all edibles: fast food? Nope, there are still fuck-tastically named items on every drive-through menu around the Dallas area...and some billboards, too.

Here, we take our favorite dirty dishes and describe them in a way appropriate for the back of a "special" DVD, your spank bank or a wadded-up fast food bag in the backseat:

1. McRib at McDonald's
Sweet and spicy time all at once. Perfectly textured for the pleasure of all. Plus, just a little pickle tickle.

Patrick Michels

Stuff your French fries in between two McRibs for double the pleasure.

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2. Double Down at KFC
Oh, KFC knows you like to insert pork between two tasty, lean-ish "buns." The Colonel's sauce might seem unwelcome at first, but it totally makes the whole thing go down easier.

It's very real.

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3. BK Stacker at Burger King
Some days your appetite calls for a single dose of beef, and some days you're insatiable, demanding to stack your meat four-high. Listen to your body, people.

More. More! MORE!

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4. Big Carl -- Carl's Jr.
The biggest and most dramatic Carl of them all. BYO plastic wrap.

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5. Double-Double Animal Style at In-N-Out
In between two battling planks of their perfect beef, In-N-Out will insert long, caramelized onions and exquisite sauce. Much more than you'd ever need, and so, so sweet.

We just cheesed in our shorts.

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6. Breakfast Toaster at Sonic
Like a little morning sausage in that oven? Push the red button and place your order for hot a.m. action.

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7. Quizno's Toasty Bullet
The slightly smaller version of Quizno's Toasty Torpedo (!) comes in easy-to-remove paper pleasantries before you undress this still-impressive ammo. You don't want to dodge this bullet, you want to wrap your mouth around it. And swallow it.

Freud's favorite sandwich.

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8. Five-Dollar Footlong at Subway
You stand in line. What you see is what you get. Five bucks.

John Holmes reportedly had the largest sandwich on record.

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9. Cherry Cream Slush at Sonic
So satisfyingly sweet, you won't mind if a little spills on your chest...or if you get a little on your face.

Just don't get Sonic's Slush in your hair.

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10. Clams and More at Long John Silver's
While the clam is the main attraction, that ain't all this dish has waiting for you.

No, not THIS clam.

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Bonus: Beef 'N Cheddar at Arby's
Don't know if you've ever beefed cheddar before, but if you do it on a swing with some Horsey Sauce, you're never going to forget it.