Bitchin' Cook Nadia Giosia Sexes Up the Kitchen

Categories: Screen Bites

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It only took me seven seconds to fall for Nadia Giosia -- a.k.a.Nadia G., the fully-functional nutso charmer on her grunge-named Cooking Channel show, Bitchin' Kitchen. In those vital 7 seconds of Nadia G.'s promotional sound-bites, I was hooked: "If you were to ask me whether I'd rather make out with Clooney or scarf a mushroom risotto," Nadia G. asks...(pause for a grimace of indecision before rubbing her belly lustfully)..."I'd make out with Clooney."

And Clooney would be one lucky dude.

For Nadia G. is that rare food television personality who gets right up in your grill with the obvious link between sensuality, even campy erotica, and the skilled preparation and "scarfing" of great food.

Nadia G. prowls her kitchen in vertigo-inducing stilettos and form-fitting, leopard-print sheath dresses, with her vampiric-red nail polish and lips set against her driftwood-pale skin. Consider her a cross between Elvira and Nigella Lawson. But with her tasteful selection of tattoos and penchant for silvery skull kitchen adornments, along with her heavy-metal hand gesture of approval for her latest creation, Nadia G. has more than a bit of Joan Jett as well.

Consider her food television's first punk-rock cooking sensation -- who delivers her off-the-cuff Nadia-isms ("What ya gonna do?" "You don't seal the ravioli right, it will be a bordello in the pot" ) in a husky voice reminiscent of any Brooklyn fish market wholesaler starting his dawn shift.

But this gravel-and-molasses-voiced lady, reportedly plucked from the obscurity of a series of web videos, can also cook. A recent episode was hilariously devoted to the double-entendre filled "underground" veggies such as cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, parsnips and Swiss chard. Nadia G. was determined to embrace all these so-called ugly, underachieving, generally dismissed members of the food chain -- rescuing them from the culinary back-alley -- by wedding them to dishes guaranteed to make your palate perk up and take notice.

First up, Nadia G. combined a generally sorry-looking bunch of Swiss chard into one of her Italian favorites: a pan-seared, Swiss chard mascarpone ravioli, showered in truffled cream. Any Italian dish seems to bring out the best in the Canadian-raised Nadia G., who piles on the wisecracks with even greater speed anytime she can fill any pasta with the holy trinity (ricotta, mascarpone, and parmigiano reggiano) of Italian cheeses.

The latest chef to try to rehabilitate the tattered reputation of the original scoffed veg, the Brussels sprout ("It's been through too much hardship," Nadia G. quips), she marries the vertically challenged cabbage heads with plenty of garlic along with crisped-skin sausage and another garden second class citizen, parsnips.

Nadia pricelessly describes the obscure parsnip as "the shunned, albino cousin of the carrot" as she injects it with new life thanks to an extensive dunking in 375 degree peanut oil.

Finally, Nadia G. transforms a bulbous and pocked Cinderella of a cauliflower into a princess of a creamy soup, wearing a tiara of aged cheddar, pancetta and sautéed leeks.

Such is the efficiency of Nadia G's cooking segments (with her blade work presented with frenetic, silent-movie speed) that she has time to introduce us to a wacky cast of extras, with one bearing a striking resemblance to '70s era Cheech or Chong.

But no matter how asylum-ready Nadia's pals are, there's rarely any doubt who the leader of this three-ring-cooking-circus is: the original Mad Hatter of mascarpone, Nadia G.

(Bitchin' Kitchen airs on the Cooking Channel, at 9:30 p.m. Wednesdays.)

Follow City of Ate on Twitter: @cityofate.

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24 comments
Casper
Casper

Now don't get me wrong, I like Nadia and think she is talented, ambitious and beautiful... and yes, I'd love to share some spatula techniques with her any time she's had enough of Clooney! However, the parsnip is not the "albino" cousin to the carrot! They are not even close except maybe in shape...... that's like saying the banana is the yellow cousin to the plantain, no comparison whatsoever! On the albino topic, just leave it alone Nadia, because everyone has a good laugh at the expense of our "whiteness" and I, for one, am proud of my uniqueness, but most are not and have suffered multitudes of ridicule because of it! This is not a crusade on my part, just trying to save the Grand G from any future embarrassment...... make sure your brain is fully loaded, before you pull the trigger on your mouth!!!!! I'm sure that slurs towards Italians wouldn't bake too well in the ol' attitude oven either...... albinos are interesting people once you get to know us, give it a try, you won't be disappointed!!!! Thanks Nads....... STAY HUNGRY!!!!!!

Chris
Chris

She definitely grows on you.  Hilarious show.

Commetingonthehackwriter
Commetingonthehackwriter

Wow, so writers in Texas are dumber then we thought. Keep TIVO'ing 'Jersey Shore" to compliment this disaster.

Jamo
Jamo

I love her, especially when she doles out advice from her Grandmother. The best way to know if that special person is "the one?" Smell their armpits! Classic advice, and I wholeheartedly believe it to be true.

Wacko in Waco?
Wacko in Waco?

OK, I watched the original Julia shows with my mom on PBS many, many decades ago. I've been a devoted fan of Jacques throughout his career. I find Nadia such a refreshing change to the oh-so-stale repertoire on Food Channel/Cooking Channel that I just HAVE to watch! I've tried several of her recipes (was given her cookbook for Christmas!) and loved them. My husband and I watched all her shows this past season with the odd thing being the disdain from our twenty-something sons! You go, NG!

Dr Dano
Dr Dano

Nadia rules. Welcome to your new addiction.

Zlatkod
Zlatkod

I love Nadia G. - she's smart, sexy and funny! All you haters if you don't like her - hey there is something called a remote control, so change the channel!

BH
BH

I've tried a couple of the recipes and they were pretty good. Nadia is definitely hot but that "tough Italian broad" stick is WAY over the top. It would be much easier to watch if she toned it down a little.

Designtech
Designtech

I think Nadia G is a refreshing change to the same old, same old cooking shows. She is thinking out of the box and bringing a whole new group of viewers to cooking shows. Kudos to Nadia for BK and Kudos to Andrew Marton for seeing the ingenuity and originality in it all!

Joann
Joann

I won't diss my girl Nadia G..........she is da BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love her show here in the US.....wish I could get the Canadian Food Network......would love to see the new shows!

Nadia......YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!

kYle
kYle

I need to get The Cooking Channel

Tina Rashed
Tina Rashed

It was love at first sight for my four year old son. My son, Adam, loves her so much he sent videos to her expressing his love for her and BK. Nadia recommended that he start a blog about each episode of Bitchin' Kitchen. http://adamrockswithbitchinkit... She is a smart, funny and gorgeous lady that rocks her kitchen! Spice up your life and stop being so bland! Watch Bitchin' Kitchen people!

Lea
Lea

I'm now convinced the Idiocracy is imminent.

Lee
Lee

This has been a guilty pleasure of mine since I first saw it a few months ago. It's so irreverent and weird and it's fun to see a cooking show that doesn't take itself so seriously. The funny thing is that through all the shtick, she is actually cooking some interesting things. Not all of them are my taste, but it's fun to see. I don’t think she is dumb at all. It’s an act that she plays well. Now, let’s see Panos clean a fish.

Marytiger51
Marytiger51

Nadia's show is so original and entertaining, plus she can really cook and healthy dishes at that. I'm not out of my mind, only one of her growing list of fans who love her.

Lea
Lea

Double you. Tee. Eff. Seriously? I love food and any show related to it. I also have a high tolerance for crap tv (just ask my boyfriend and my dvr filled w/Bones reruns). But that chick is, hands down, the most annoying thing on television.

mt
mt

you are out of your mind if you can watch more than 2 seconds of that dumb broad

Simon
Simon

Says the user with the missing letters in your handle and mismatched quote marks...

Chris
Chris

 And she does NOT act as if cooking is an art.  She is a comedy show with the ability to cook at the same time.  Smart and funny.  Like her.

Firewind2011
Firewind2011

And the slew of your previous presidents wasn't proof for you?

Firewind2011
Firewind2011

Oh come on now, we all know you don't have a boyfriend...

Bitchinfan
Bitchinfan

Then I must be completely insane...Nadia's show is the best thing I've seen hit the Cooking channel since it started...Fresh, funny as hell, no hilarious..Anybody who doesn't dig this chick has no sense of humor...

mt
mt

you must be tina's 4 year old son. you know, the one with horrible taste

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