Chef Tell: Top Reasons Why Jamie Should Pack Her Knives And Go

Categories: Screen Bites
We don't think there was any question last week that viewers had some issues with cheftestant Jamie Lauren being allowed to stay on Top Chef All Stars instead of our own Casey Thompson. Turns out we of Chef Tell and Cheap Bastard feel all sorts of the same way. In fact, we say of Casey's dismissal and Jamie's smug face, "We were fine with wrong people getting sent this shit's personal."

So, after trading e-mails involving comments that rival things you might say about bullies who beat up your kids, we ended up with this list of reasons why it is painfully obvious that Jamie should have been sent packing. Like, seriously.

The Unearned 'Tude - Angelo, Marcel, Fabio have it, but they've earned it. Stop smirking.

Even Blais openly hates her --
That's somethin'.

Clams -- Or, rather, her inability to make more than one of them in more than enough time to make more than one of them.

Scallops -- Again? Seriously? "This isn't Top Scallop," said Fabio [insert scallop montage video].

Soups -- This isn't Top Soup. If she makes another soup, City Of Ate will angrily poke her stitched thumb.

She's real small -- That's not really a reason, but I'm sorta jealous. Also, she has prettier hair than me. Note: This was written by Merritt, not Alice, who has incredible self-esteem and never compares herself to TV people.

Her lack of skill in seasoning -- Salty or bland. Bland or salty. Take your pick, because she can't seem to.
They all expected it -- The fact that EVERYONE expected her to go home and they're All Stars who run kitchens so THE ENTIRE CAST can't be entirely incorrect in their assessment of her talent.

The Marcel factor -- Marcel has insulted her for being slow...and didn't preface it by talking about how awesome he was. It was just a straight dis. Very, very rare.

The loudmouth lament -- You know what we mean. That part post-elimination in the stew room where Jamie did that thing that people who feel guilty do when they keep talking about how it should have been them and they're really surprised but everyone just really wants them to shut up.

Her ever-present lip gloss -- What chef has time for this?! It's always perfect! Other chefs look a little winded, a bit stressed! Not Jamie. Perfectly glossy. Eff that.

Thumbelina -- Thumb cut. Thumb stitches. Thumb BS. Carla, in contrast, wrapped her shit up three times over and kept a fucking champ.

There. See? Now, here's how to really send her packing: The next challenge everybody gets
to cook whatever they want...only, no soups or scallops. She'll be screwed.

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Kristy Yang
Kristy Yang

This list made me guffaw so loud, my boyfriend jumped from his seat and wondered what was wrong with me. I don't care what the judges say, there totally is producer involvement. Casey didn't even get to cook her dish! As my wise bf puts it, this challenge was ludicrous bc they should've had servers. Even in restaurant wars, there are servers! Dim sum is no joke, dude. And maybe Tom and Gale couldn't eat the chicken feet, but if the Susur, the ASIAN judge says the flavors are good, does that not count for anything? DAMMIT!

Alice Laussade
Alice Laussade

Casey, you should still be on that show. You were robbed, just like Jen.


The judge's blogs on shed some light. (And really, Tony Bourdain's blogs is invaluable just for its own sake). According to Tom Colicchio, Casey's chicken feet were indefensibly terrible. Both he and Gail used the word inedible several times.

Stacked as the case was against Jamie (and the judges don't deny it), her food was at least edible.

Dallas Diner
Dallas Diner

Casey voluntered to work the front of the house even though she know that meant someone else would have to make her dish for the judging. Jamie screwed up the preparation of Casey's dish, but Casey got sent home. The panel talked about the chefs not working as a team, and then sent home the only chef who had voluntered to take one for the team.

Merritt Martin
Merritt Martin

Yeah, I had referenced Tom's blog in my recap of last week (here, if you missed it: but there's just something that rubs me the wrong way about someone being sent home for a dish that they didn't even have the opportunity to stop from being sent out of the kitchen...and I think Casey would've known not to. Plus, in a bonus video, Susur Lee said they tasted great but it was the texture that was so bad -- Casey prepped the sauce but the cooking wasn't her.I dunno, I just think that when that many people are aware Jamie's consistently not performing at Top Chef level, she shouldn't get to hang with them. And at some point, too, I think there's producer involvement (it says so in the credits). So I have to wonder how much of it is done for "good TV" instead of progressing a smart program with a smart audience who will soon get irritated.

Merritt Martin
Merritt Martin

"The panel talked about the chefs not working as a team, and then sent home the only chef who had voluntered to take one for the team."

Yes, Dallas Diner! YES!


I hear you, and I don't disagree. But Tom has said again and again, inedible is inedible. Only cheating receives swifter justice.

Here's a fun argument: on the episode where Jamie went to the hospital for her paper cut, and her partner Jen swears she did everything, meaning Jamie cooked nothing, shouldn't she have gone home?

What's less edible than nothing at all?

(just for fun, I know that opens up a whole can of worms)

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