Top 10 High-End Stoner Dishes

Categories: Whimsy
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Ok, focus. Must...focus.

The recent NY Times chronic-le about weed smokage in the kitchen was not shocking, to say the least, but it did spur a few imaginative thoughts: Do we have "haute stoner cuisine" in Dallas? Why is haute such an annoying word?

The idea behind the Times' haute stoner cuisine is rooted in the "chin-dripping" quality of rich, sometimes carbohydrate-heavy foods. In short, "great food that makes you feel good."

Sure, there's lots of that around here, and plenty you can enjoy without the ganj. If you did happen to be high, say right this instant, here are 10 items around Dallas that are moral imperatives when you've got the good feelies.

Read the list after the jump.

10. Pesto Pizza at Grimaldi's - Aside from this being one of the best pizza joints in Dallas, this pie has enough of the creamy green sauce (right on the brink before it's too much) to give you a mind-gasm.

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9. Homemade Pretzels at Holy Grail - Holy shit, they give you bechamel sauce and a house made horseradish mustard to go with the pretzels. But these aren't those hard motherfucker Snyders things. No, no, these are warm, soft twists of kosher salted bread. Real sex machines.

8. Maytag Blue Cheese Chips at Jasper's - Who doesn't crave a big bag of salty chips when you're stoned out of your mind and watching the dramatic chipmunk on Youtube? Instead of waking up to orange-stained hands from inhaling a bag of Doritos Nacho Cheese chips, why not go all out and wake up with blue cheese breathe from Jasper's Maytag Blue Cheese Chips. Thick cut chips tossed in a heavy cream sauce and sprinkled with Maytag blue cheese crumbles and chives, you can't beat that.

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Sarah Johnson
7.  BBQ Pork Belly Steam Buns at Shinsei's - A pork belly that's been rubbed down with spices, slowly cooking in the oven for hours,and then thinly sliced and cooked again in hoisin sauce has our baked hearts. Throw it on a steamed bun with some slaw and we're yours forever...or until the highness wears off.

6. Hot chocolate Chip cookie ala mode at Kathleen's Sky Diner's : If you've ever thought aloud, "I could eat a thousand chocolate chip cookies right now," whilst be-drugged (kinda like Steve Martin did once playing Socrates in a long-ago comedy sketch), you really just need to go to Kathleen's. They bake the cookie to order in a large dish and serve it fresh from the oven with vanilla bean ice cream melting all over it. If it weren't for the possible burns, you'd want to stick your face in it. And you don't need a thousand.

5. Last Word Mac at Neighborhood Services Tavern's : Comfort food takes on a whole new meaning when stoned. It not only makes you feel warm and full (ideal for curing munchies), but it can calm paranoia and turn a bad vibe on it's head. Imagine all those amazing qualities in one large ramekin loaded with pasta and Monterrey Jack, pepper Jack, cheddar and peccorino cheeses. This ain't no blue box stove-top shuffle.

4. Build-Your-Own-Dessert at Craft: Though decisions may be hard after a few bowls, the home-feeling of being able to jam pack a combo of beignets, vanilla malt, roasted banana and coconut ice cream into one dessert might push you past ecstasy. Think of it as choose-your-own-dessert adventure.

3. Table-Side S'mores at Tillman's Roadhouse: Do we need say anymore than the ingredients list? (orange, maple and coffee marshmallows, cinnamon grahams, dark chocolate bark)

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From dairyairfoodgalley.com

2. Bruschetta at Bolsa. The inspired combinations of salty and sweet, soft and crunchy, and in little shareable bite-sized pieces is perfect for a couple of stoners to fight over. Pear and prosciutto together? Smoked salmon and honey? And it's all fresh and local, adding a little bit of healthy locavore smugness to your buzz? It's like the kind of herbally inspired snack you might come up with in your own kitchen at 2 a.m., except their kitchen has ingredients just a tad fresher than your tin of tuna, canned plum tomatoes and stale loaf of Mrs. Bairds.

1. Chicken & Waffles at Victor Tango's - Since Chicken & Waffles was made partly famous by the appetite of Snoop Dog (see Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles in LA), we can't seem to think of anything better than the three words that make up this dish: Gravy. Chicken. Waffles.

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Location Info

Venue

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Grimaldi's Pizzeria

3636 McKinney Ave., Dallas, TX

Category: Restaurant

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