Kids Eat The Darnedest Things: Popeyes Chicken And Biscuits

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Jesse Hughey
Of all the fast-food chicken places in my neighborhood, Popeyes is by far my favorite. Williams Chicken is OK. I used to work at a KFC and have pretty much had my fill for this lifetime while Church's makes me question the existence of God.

Problem is, my daughter isn't a fan, and my wife is not too keen on greasy fast food in the first place, so occasions to eat it are rare. But last night Lyle (7) and I picked up a to-go sack for dinner. Lyle opted for the kids meal with four chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes and a 16-oz. strawberry Fanta, which was $3.49 plus tax.

Now, it seems like fast food places get a lot of blame for the obesity epidemic in America, serving up empty calories and oversized portions. As far as empty calories, well, I'm no nutritionist, but I suspect the chicken at least offers some protein. Anyway, that's why we have chewable vitamins, right?

But in the case of Lyle's meal, the problem was undersized rather than oversized. And worst of all, no biscuit with the kids meal Come on, Popeyes, "biscuits" is right in your freaking name. What's with the stinginess?

Yet Lyle had a different complaint.

He wolfed down the nuggets without bothering to dip them in his customary ketchup, and quickly finished his potatoes. This is a remarkable testament. Usually, Lyle takes at least half an hour to finish a meal, as he prefers to spend mealtimes entertaining his fellow diners. As soon as he finished, though, he angrily announced, "I'm still hungry!"

Of course, most children really just want kids meals at restaurants because of the toys. In this case, the grub came with some sort of build-it-yourself Viewmaster with a few picture slides featuring cartoon characters neither of us recognized. Lyle was completely confounded by the highly technical instructions.

His overall impression:

How was it?
It was awesome. I felt like I was in heaven. I loved the chicken. It tasted so good. I could just kiss it and marry it.

Come on. You don't have to talk like that. Be honest.
What? I liked it!

How was the food on a scale of 1 to 10?
Ten!

But you were still hungry after you finished. How much more food could you have eaten?
It could've used another side, some biscuits, and couple more chicken nuggets.

How about the toy?
The toy was awesome. It was like 3-D, almost.

Really? I thought you said it was blurry.
It wasn't blurry. Only a little bit. That is all. OK, thank you people, goodbye.

Oh, and he never finished the soda. I don't mean to sound like a spoilsport, but sixteen ounces of carbonated sugar water might be a bit much for little kids.


 

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